cos i realise u're the one i dream of and think about.

thank you for reminding me to be sane, phone.

i didnt manage to collect up all my feelings for a THANKYOU darlings entry. i'll try do one now.

THANKYOU osy, really sorry for making you :( i loveee osy! THANKYOU hongli marg becca xying! THANKYOU tutucians! <3 THANKYOU sixoh guys for your kind intentions! THANKYOU squadies ! THANKYOU everyone who rmbed! THANKYOU FAMILY! :D

this is as best as i could do. i'll keep all the wishes close to me so i'll always rmb to remain grateful, thankful, and feeling blessed.

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yays.

a year on

a year ago yesterday was nanofive's expedition anniversary. its such a special day that i really dont know what to say. its hard to put words to the experience, but im glad for the many friends ive gotten to know there, and the many kids and events that make me learn more about myself, and more about things i ought to hold dear to.

im growing old today (and everyday actually) but this year im not gonna say im afraid of growing old. thats all thanks for 'tuesdays with morrie' (which ive just read a few days back), that in it i learnt that there's nothing fearful about being old. because with age, you have experiences that you would otherwise not have, at a younger age. with age, you become more learned, and become a better person.

so my wish is to become a better person :) but then, being always taught to provide balance, how then do we define what is good, better, best? HAHA rhetorical!

my squadies helped to celebrate my bday ytd! im just thankful for squadies that are such sweet people! and whom i loveee! and BADMINTON with diana! YEAYEA! havign muscle aches now, but i guess, its all for a healthy lifestyle! HOHO! i love DIANA!

aniw cecs! i hope ur gastric's getting better!

nov

november is almost ending already. this yr's nov feels a lil empty somewhat. as compared to previous yrs of having things cropped up on ur birthday month, this year is peaceful! last yr i was away on ocip, the yr before in 04 was prom, the yr before before in 03 was a training camp. this yr, just my day alone. :) (and last yr was NOVEMBER'S CHOPIN)

everyone's gg overseas ): and i wan to go on a trip AGAIN. i guess we all need some release, to some where to fill up that spiritual tank. for one, i need a trip to open out myself to learn more insights about others, others' culture. i always think trips abroad are spirit cleansing stuff cos when i return i'll have a lot to ponder abt, i'll learn much, and i'll cherish things more. i need a trip abroad.

i heard this yr's ocip team is leaving pretty soon! i could still rmb somewhat my buncha nerves just last yr, the apprenhension and all about leaving a place where you're all familiar to an unknown.

aniw soccer on fri with class guys and girls was fun although the rain left everyone shivering in the cold. IKEA on saturday yayy yayy! i always love gg ikea despite the vomit inducing 45mins ride. hahs.

but i fell ytd and now my last finger on the right is a little scrapped and screams PAIN when it touches water. :(

i finished adrian mole and the weapons of mass destruction! and im eagerly waiting for stingray with steffi and osy! and BECKS yes ! i wonder when we'll have a time for each other!!! soon okay!

the things that used to inspire me, i hope i always will keep them close to me. sometimes i wished i had super large memory storage so i can rmb all that i want to rmb. all my takeaways from many events in life thus far, the many feelings that ive experienced and wished i could lock that feeling away to constantly remind me of it. i may never be able to do so cos much might have alr been forgotten. too deep, too far away in mind, but those i rmb, i hope i'll always rmb. aww not making sense :(

i had a great past few days , just meeting up with people. it was monday with self, tuesday with squadmates xh kez crys ym, wednesday with the secret present team, thurs with the antismokingcampaign, chatting with CECS online.

the week is almost gone and im QUITE tired.

cecs' bday tmr! i nv did forget okay! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GIRL!

tuesdays with morrie

sometimes i wished i can read some ppl like a book. so when i know that i can never figure people (any one in fact) out a hundred percent, i read books instead :)

i finished tuesdays with morrie in three hours! wheee! its a really good but rather taunting book. it makes me realise that choosing to conform can be a choice based on whether you believe or you dont. one part of the book says that if we dont believe in the culture of this country, the values that is being spread in the society (like materialism, having bigger cars, bigger houses, better grades, number one... ), we dont have to subscribe to it. as simple as that.

perhaps sometimes in life, we dont see things as clearly as we would when we're dying.

reading books is therapeutical. so i went to the library and got two more books. yayness! company in books is much more comfortable and fulfilling and seldom dissapointing. books have that direct touch with the reader, that makes me love reading quite a bit.

my sister was studying unemployment for econs and she said : you're unemployed! yeahh :/ im living and breathing econs each day :/

END :D

END :D

if u could read it... its says END :D under the 17th nov row. (;

its all over. cant say that i'd mugged hard enuff to confidently declare all As, in fact far from it :( , but im just glad i got thr' this period of time rather depression-lessly. thats a good achievement alr, tho there's certainly periods of unease, unmotivated in between. exams nv seem to be easy huh? it seems like such a struggle while im at it. but it feels like eons ago now, when its only 2 days aft .

class steamboat on fri was WOAH. i think turnout was rather good despite my initial reluctance to go cos im sick and isolated and just like to be alone. i guess its smth we can only accept... that our class will always split into girls and guys separately even on outings tgt. haha. shermin sponsored a game of 50cents tablesoccer! whee great fun tho i shouted and skrieked til my sorethroat really came. (: thankyou for the great fun. :) sirui's very funny cos she's fighting to cook cos she loves cooking! and she flooded the aluminium thing with melted butter! HAHA seems like frying rather than grilling. but great funn!

am having a lousy nose thats sneezy. :(

osy and cecs and crys and xh and kez and peijia and ... eveyrone who still have exams! jiayouuuu! i gave all my luck to peijia aft chem mcq. i hope its helpful tho peijia dun need luck to get distinction! whoo. (by the way cecs! i still cant sign the gbk lehh :( ) and crys jiayou for the 10km run in dec!

i packed my worksheets TWICE ytd but it still remains as sky-high. uggh. and i unwillingly parted with my sec 4 textbooks (EXCEPT my lit stuffs cos its precious) :). i'm giving up packing til ltr in the week. its tedious!

im a homebody so im staying at home for as long as i can! den look for a job and hopefully be employed. and bug peijia to teach me guitar and go KAYAK and think of christmas and slack and continue slacking :) ohh and start thinking abt what i wna do and go eat eat eat. and RUN. lew lew! i'm on anytime. RUNNNN! (: and i wna VENEZIA with hengheng again! and fishhychips with jojo! yay. and more more more food.

and chatting online 2 nights ago with mavis and hongli was v fun! i miss them!

:) yay. NEW TEMPLATE! whoooooo! green/grins continues.

in two

in two days, things will all be over. the stack of worksheets is becoming table high soon! note: worksheets i no longer need! just another paper on fri and things will return to all emptiness. hehs. today, i blogged this photo cos it reminds me of mdmwoon cos i saw mdmwoon tdy! essay was lousy for me, somehow along the way i just lost the confidence in writing essays. but i love econs aniw. :) i hope the rest can pull my econs up.

aniw, enuff of exams. just one more MCQ paper!

lew! didnt know you come by! HELLO (: there's nthg interesting here

and ohh! its shermin's and thadd's last paper today and i forgot to wish them congratulations! aww well, the numbing casestudy's at fault. i'll join their's and minyi's end of A's gang in two..days.

even though the exams havent been the greatest source of joy these days, but im thankful for just everything that's keeping me sane til now. and which will continue to keep me sane. :)

:( wasnt supposed to blog exams but heh. jiayou! (:

actually i felt qt sad when last night i realised the phy paper is my last contact with physics. i know best that i'll prolly nv study phy again. that made me qt sad. no more fighting enemies, and i mean it. sighh its the contradiction sometimes that gets me frustrated. when im studying it, i dread it. when its gone, i think i may miss it rather badly :(

ahh watever. tevee indulgence now. oh and one proud achivement! i didnt come online for DAYS, i didnt even miss it. shucks.

were we like what we were

DSC09963

just for some indulgence. a photo upload! :D

'cos next week is pretty hard
it seems like i may nv pass thr' it.
two double papers day :(
but if i do get by, it'll all be fine.
pray hard! jiayou

while i may worry abt papers done and get depressed abt exams, no one else shld. unless u could get urself out like i do thr' chocs and isolation. haha! alrites, i hope i do well in my fave and "fave" subjs next week. hahs.

we were told poems were meant to be read out

it feels a lil lonely
it feels a lil queer
but things will go on as its planned (even if you dont know what is)
because the world doesnt revolve
around one
it may seem at times;
we're pretty much in the spotlight
but all thats delusive
in a grandeur that should not exist

but we'll soon accept it
as yet another part
an interlude in otherwise routined lives
to breathe in some new hope
and fresh motivation to last
through
the remaining
mundane and tough steps