blue sky with pink streaks

MPS=marginal propensity to save=morning pleasant surprise (:

i'm so stoned every morning, its impossible to wake up early and be hyper for school. really, i dont know how the tecahers do it.

jinchao got hospitalised. god bless! hopefully all sixteen of us are able to go! one and a half weeks more! so many things undone, i've taken to drawing up a TO DO list. i finally dragged myself to a run this evening.

the place where we all learn, grew, cry, laugh

stnicks (8)
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

the weird girl is not going to regret her choice.
the worrywart is not going to regret her choice.
with all indecisiveness, lu is not going to regret her choice.

or rather, i am determined to make this choice right, for once. such a heavy heart suddenly. and these few weeks, i feel like i'm really living the consequences of my decisions. and not necessarily as positively as i would like to. but jiayou lu, just try.

stnicks trip today with tanahbao kez and crys was a REALLY SUNNY affair! (the sun was v hot) yays. more photos, i hope. before our memories fade under the cranes and demolishing machines, attempting to erase this part of us. but they dont understand that things like this never be erased, if we etched it down, and take the time to rmb it. the physical can go, but never one's memories. only problem is that my memory is failing me. frantic rush to rmb, but never quite getting there.

cambodia preps are packing my after work evenings next week= no tv!

jiayou lu.
shooting stars, shooting stars. look far.

courses, causes.

i love post selects CRANBERRY ALMOND CRUNCH cereal. it has this nice cranberry fragrance and im still munching on it when its 1230 midnight!

i falter after all,
to practicality
to my stubborness
to conformity
to the whole lot of mess in my life ):

thanks to everyone for their advice these few weeks. the worry wart has made a decision after all. i dont know why i turned out to be such an impractical, indecisive and boring person, who refuses to acceptreality. i'm weird, as i have always known. and i think too much into everything, sometimes.

i need a holiday, thats not coming unless the funds are. we need money, fundraising! its times like this when i wished money fell from the sky. but nonetheless, it seems like a busy afterwork week next week. TWOWEEKS to cambodia! LOVE (:

TAN ah bao is going to breathe in singapore air in 7 hours time! YAY (: i havent seen her for a year. ohgosh,i miss her.

TGIF

i'm addicted to what they call, food porn. its just this addiction to looking at pretty foodblogs on my weekends, looking for exciting new recipes to try. you cant blame me, i'm only trying to find the perfect cutout cookies recipe to bake tmr for my sis's birthday on tues :P

its time i made my decision. i'm sucha worry wart i hate myself. cant academic decisions be decided for us?

anyway new template, cos i was toggling with blogger's new layout thing yesterday afternoon. i love my weekends, doing things that i enjoy, staying at home, jogging. (:

how egocentric blogs are. its always i, me, myself, saya, 我.

i enjoy jogging. but before i manage a jog, i always have to drag myself out of the house. its the inertia, that once overcame, i would get to breathe in the (quite polluted) evening breeze. my knees are fine now, or so i hope. i'll go gentle on them!

8 references to self in that para alone.

its the plan-your-modules-or-or-get-prepared-to-die-in-the-next-semester period again! i'm glad that econs still excites me (: cant explain why/what, but its just this surge of euphoria when you look at whats in stall next sem. ying and i must be the craziest people who cant wait for school to start. 2 more months (: but really, i'm very grateful for always being able to make my choice (and perhaps thus, have no other way out but to accept the consequences of my decisions). good or bad, eg econs or internship, i'm perhaps glad or resigned to a certain extent.

i've been thinking about the major/minor thing. it just struck me how unplanned my life is. i don't plan ahead to take whatever minor/second major. and thus i worry and procrastinate again now. i take modules as i like it, with no considerations if it will boost/diminish my choices next time. A or B. econs or econs/2nd major or econs/minor. AHHH.

i know a decision has been made subconciously. its just when i can comprehend and verbalise it.

its time i go back into photography! we were talking about blogging today in the office and i dont think i fall into the category of blogging-in-perfect-english. never will be. so might as well let the pictures do the talking! (:

;and we wonder why

There were many times during the ascent when we wondered why we were here.
...
And sometimes, I think it's not entirely the view up there that we clamber for. It could be the feeling of conquering yourself that we are hooked on. When we were standing on one peak, we looked across to another higher peak and told ourselves, the next time we shall scale that one.

;from one of my blog addictions.

it holds true for many things. i lose the faith, i wonder why i'm trying so hard, why i'm putting myself through all the trouble to do things that might have lost its significance momentarily. why put my body through the fortytwo km when i could already pre empt the aches and the damage to my knees? why spend much of my holidays working to fund overseas service trips? why take on so many when i know i cant handle? why why why.

i guess sometimes its to search for this dream, this secretly stashed away dream that maybe, you can make a difference, that you ARE the dfference, that impossible is nothing: if only you try. just to prove to no one, but yourself. so go on, and dream. for dreams aint impossible. we just have got to strive towards it! (:

three things on my mind:
-marathons: i told myself that i will never attempt it again, but i know i will.
-Nan: cya december!
-school and modules: its both exciting and brain bogging. can't wait for the new sem to start (weird, but yes), yet i can't decide my modules!

i had a happy day out with fong! banana choc pizza doesnt taste as nice as before already. maybe memory made it better ? but yays to MORE food!

sometimes i find myself struggling to connect with people. it shouldnt be something so deliberate and difficult, but why am i facing such daunting situations?

its almost a daily struggle in my mind. whats with me? its not them, i know, its just me.

everyone wants to talk, but whos listening?
argh. i'm not emoing, i'm not.

maybe its just me, and my refusal to open up. i'm not them, i'm me.

how very me-myself-and-i.
i'm morphing into what i think of us. apathetic and shallow. i cant put into words, whats on my mind.

save me.

42KM finisher!

yay! i completed my first marathon this morning!
its really more mentally exhausting than anything else, with my last 4km in the rain and aching knees after the 10k mark. the struggle between walking and jogging was torturous.

the night view was breathtaking though! from the stretch of airport lights to the reflection at bedok reservior and the windy east coast park, it was an enjoyment. even though now im battling blisters, sore and aching knees,calfs, thighs, i'm just glad, i've accomplished another of my new year resolutions, way ahead of time.

-I want to stop asking people if they missed me.
-I want to devote my time to econs. Its my choice, I’ll do it right. (I will maintain my GPA above 4.0)
-I want to love my family and appreciate them more.
-I will complete a marathon this year! (I will run 2.4km under 11mins. )
-I must love my friends too.

i'm still working hard on the rest(3 more to go!) to bring down the convention of not meeting resolutions (:

thanks jieling and friends for the run. i'm a lousy friend, i pangsehed. i can give myself tons of excuses, but i know they dont suffice. thanks ROOMIE and jessica for coming down with the drinks and breakfast bars! <3 thanks to all those who rmbed my run today and wished me well! thanks to all those whom i've whined to regarding the taunting 42km. also much thanks to the many supporters along the way who cheered us on, at times when it was most difficult to keep going.

well perhaps now i realise, impossible is nothing, cos nothing is impossible. at least just for today.

ossie cecs diana is off to thailand and vietnam today! will miss them!!!
and i love my family (: they were waiting for me at home after my run! HAHA. i think i made mum worried. i said i would never attempt another marathon again to my sis, but took back my words again. the satisfaction is too tempting, i know i will go for it again despite everything. i know myself.