it will get better;

i need to start believing. (: that whatever goes down, will come up, as i've learnt from running slopes. i'll keep waiting for the day when things start looking up; when rainbows appear again; when shooting stars start shining for me; when i get into the groove and love of E again. for such a day, i will work hard. i will i will i will. i keep telling myself i will.

perhaps becos thats the only way i can keep myself sane and away from the other possibility- that the fate is sealed, that its gone forever,and that things wont ever look up again. too traumatising a possibility to think of, so i wont.

happy 2010!
i wrote a milestones of 2009 in the draft posts, but i didnt felt like i've achieved enough to publish that. so i'll just count my blessings silently, and thankyou 2009. (:

books that i never want to finish reading

piyos got 'have a little faith' by mitchalbom for me for christmas (something i've been wanting for months, only to finish it in hours). the book is so good. so so good. i wonder if you've ever had books that you didnt want to finish reading. its the knowledge that the end (of the book) is near, you dont want it to end, yet you cant stop reading. thats always the thing with good reads. such a dilemma.

but 'have a little faith' is really a very touching nonfiction, intertwining two religions, topics of faith, death and God. (perhaps too morbid to read over the christmas holiday, but) i dont quite know how to put it, and i probably cant put it better, but one of its theme of the universality of faiths and religions resonated. in a sense, its an answer to questions and doubts i had always kept within.

gooo read the book and find your own resonance from within. (:

ending this post with one of my fave quote from the book:

Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.

running and flying

loving adizero shoes. they make me so happy jogging again.it feels like i can fly, feels like nothing's weighing you down, feels like barefooted running. (: such a good run; my first, since the marathon. finally. YAYS.

but without the proper cushioning because they are made-to-let-you-fly, lu've gotta be careful on the knees. but running never felt so good for so long. yayness.

its this fear of lost and emptiness

i dont know why but this feels so sweet.

(on your speakers too)
seasons greetings.

my current read

moments. we just remember in moments and then link them together to make up our version of a life.

freedom isnt a one night stand with a sad stranger in a cheap hotel, drowning out memories with wine and the feel of another's misery. freedom is being all alone and coming face to face with yourself and not turning away; freedom is swimming naked and exulting in a cold river at dawn; and its just you, just you and no one left to help you and hold you and ward off harm. and you know that this dark clarity isnt happiness or unhappiness, its something different from anything you've ever felt before.

-Solace, Nicci Gerrard

we ran; and we ran

marathon#3
blisters, right knee, left ankle.
other than these, the weather was beautiful (save for the last section when the sun came out from hiding). thanks to yuesheng for the awesome company in the first half. im just glad i completed it, much as i was so tempted to keep walking so often after the late half of the 20km and 30km stretch. (even the last 5km feels like forever). and i loveee the bananas! (:

all that matters is we didnt give up.
what we'll always learn is that the race eventually did end.

ahappypostbirthdaypost

P1130528
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

yayness,there goes exams! this sem is worrying, but til results are out, i shant worry too much.

thanks for all the lucks and wishes on 29nov (:

the fb msges, the smses, the birthdaycake surprises, the cards, the present. i still feel loved despite the exams, and thats all that matters! wheees.

one mth holiday! reading, cycling, steamboating, sleeping, teeveeing, packing and recharging. i want next sem to be much better!

imissreading

cant wait for exams to end so i can finally sit down and read a book;
yet dont want the week to end cos i havent finish studying.

really really really dont like being unable to finish studying; EVERYONE remind me to start earlier next sem!

heilongjiang

quickpost amidst the (in)sanity.

saw this two people quarreling on the train ytd;

sometimes we forget why we love the things/people/stuff we love,
but just rmb we did, and do. (and we'll recall the reason one day)

saw this travelogue at 12midnight ytd on heilongjiang. UBER PRETTY, i gave up my books to watch it! (: bright blue skies, white fluffy clouds and endless horizon! and RUSSIA is just across the river!

jiayou lu!

in the midst

RANDOM QUOTES randomly.

"I’m not saying I can’t live without you, because I can. I’m just saying I don’t want to." -from

"We all want to be be different, which makes us all the same." -from

gogogo!

rainbow

somewhere out there,

there's a rainbow,

waiting for u to look over,

waiting to cheer you up. (:

i love rainbows.

the morning sunny shower was worth.

everyday

really dont have any idea where october went.
where did your everyday go?

psst! secret showing on tv. jay = uber cute to the max. aww (:

jiayou lu. gotta keep sane.

things to rmb by

looking back at the pictures in the folders again; cant help thinking back of all the times and missing everyone.
cherish my time now, for i'll miss it very soon again.

momentum

u know u're old when:
-sleeping at 3am and waking up at 6am makes you feel like you're almost dead.
-you almost sprain your ankle twice within 10mins of your run.
-thoughts of giving up comes to your more often than ever.
-the eyebags/circles refuses to migrate.

had a nice run this evening. running is like every other thing you dont know how to start. once you have the momentum going, things are actually much easier. i hope it applies to studying, and all other things i dont yet know how to start. maybe once i get started, it wont be as difficult. (: its the momentum. the (HAHA) circular cumulative causation s curve. gogogo.

its dark;

tell me u'd lead me out of the dark.

sad, no longer have nice quotable quotes cos i hardly read books (my major source of inspiration). i'd try to fit them into my life soon. and i want to go travelling. i shall save up!

there must be

there must be a way to answer the question.
there must be a way, in which everyone agrees, is best.
there must be a way to make sure it flows.
there must be a way to make the essay the best it can be.
there must be a way.

think lu, think hard!

and there must be a way to handle all the remaining projs! just counted on the busride, i think theres three FOUR left! gogogo. (:

you don't know me, you dont wear my chains.
sorry.


sometimes sunrise and sunset seems to give the same skyline pictures (at least to me it feels this way). but they're different. after the sunrise, the side of the world is lit up. after the sunset, the world covers in darkness for at least another 10 hours. but how do you know what you're seeing is a sunrise/sunset? i guess, you just do.

love.

my fave girls, doing the things we do, at our fave place.
my only recess; with my favourite people.

the sad truth

okay, sudden realisation. September ended. gosh, so as the song goes, its perhaps time i wake up. midsem econs ramblings alert.

while other people deal with dilemmas, we struggle with trilemmas. MACRO! haha. econs is not easy heh. and i was smiling to myself today when i read this from healthecons:

the past convinces the present that today wants what yesterday has left
behind for it to use.

such a mouthful. but how beautifully prof puts it.

before you die

chanced upon the buried life site while (still) looking for inspirational blogs. its 4 guys, on a mission to accomplish 100 goals before they die, and encouraging people to pursue their goals. sweet! but i wonder, if they really accomplished all the goals on the list, would they be ready to die ): hehhss. i'm sure 100 doesnt suffice. but its definitely a good way to start.

for we are humans, we have goals. gogogoo for your goals today. i wished i knew what mine was.

The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark. -Agnes De Mille

didnt get to meet my tutucians yesterday and i hadnt met them for quite some time. ):

misses.

; and i almost forgot today's monday! ): RAH. i was still expecting doraemon AT 930am.

youths.

yesterday at wsc, one of the youths i usually teached touched me. he specifically asked for me to teach him; made me promise i'll go next week; insist i take his sweets and eat it in front of him; shared that he stalked a cross-dressing man at JP. another hardworking malay boy called me sister on one occasion and boss on another.

its just this sense of joy when the youths you teach come for sessions and look for & talk to you. its even more satisfying when they voluntarily bring their schoolwork and ask you questions (esp if its math). i'm glad i've stayed two years and counting. its things like this that pushes me along on thursdays.

midweek!

i'm just glad the projects didnt clash as much as it would have been, in the worst case senario. 304 ends just as 312 starts. though quizzes and projects still clashes somewhat, there're people far worse off. i'm learning to be thankful. (:

and veryveryvery much more relieved 304 proj is finally over. here, the nightmares end. i hope.

supper with the bagua bunch of girls & meeting with my tutucians this weekend = motivation. study hard lu!

and i really think there's less than 24 hours in my day.
time flies, its already midweek! (:

morningrants

running still feels good. :D YAYS. perhaps it is the only constant, the only thing that can stay with us, in such a complex world. but at times, it seems even we dont have control over it either. weeksix. omgs

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIANAAAAAAA

//1.35am. sorta refusing to sleep, for when i next wake up (if i do), the weekend will feel closer to its end again. ahh, draggs. workworkwork lu.

in a world that aint perfect;
and wishing im smarter.

vitasoy

vitasoy
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

i think i live in the past too much.

still miss my warm vitasoy accompanying me for lessons, thirtypercent discount starbucks to reward myself every other day of school, and treating my modules as though i was on exchange (can pass can alr).

i shouldnt, but i can only try.

i miss.
but i wont say so.
i ask 'do you miss me' very easily; but when it comes to saying i miss you, its a whole lot harder.

weekfive beckons.in need of a real good treat when healthecons proj is over. starbucks coffee/ sleep/ kfc/ phototrips/ storybooks. anything and everything that i want to as long as we get past the long stuggle ahead.

and coughing always makes me feel like im gna die soon. omgs. be nicer and kinder lu. jiayou.

so come with me and share the view

fang da tong's uber sweet oldie rendition(: my fave lines:

i'll be there if you should need me
you dont have to change a thing
i love you just the way you are
so come with me and share the view
i'll help you see forever too

how august flys.
nearing the end of august, and school hadnt exactly been easy. level three hundred modules really mean different.

school, slow down!
thankful for the girls who makes up my life. (but school=not much of a life) haha. oh, and bagua session with steffi and ossie made my midweek (: yays

final run, for the year

omg srey, seriously omgomgomgosh.

travelling

during cognitive psych tutorial;

alot of people thought about retiring early and then travelling after that. but do we really want to travel the entire time after retirement?

i think not. because there'll come a time when we'll feel tired. tired of always being on the move, tired of having to shift from one place to another. as i'd hav realised, travelling can be rather tiring and stressful esp when its done individually. no doubt, travelling and backpacking is my dream, but i would like to think its more of the occasional break from a permanent life- a few months every year; instead of an extended travel trip, being on the move for years. i'd still want to come back to home, consolidate my thoughts, and be refreshed to go again.

the perfect life isnt infinite travelling. it is the occasional, frequent trips (: there's an optimum for everything.

intersection.

feels weird that you dont appear in my life anymore, that we dont bump into each other along corridors, that our lives no longer intersect. or perhaps its cos our lives had intersected: paths which converge and intersect, diverge right after.

mas; i know i want to be there.

另一个天堂 ; on loop, love the song and the lyrics.

twentyonekm!

P1120168
Originally uploaded by lucia!

ran my first half marathon today! i think a lack of sleep and a lack of training makes the run not as good. but anyhow, there were plenty of drink stations and bananas along the way. i really think i run for the bananas sometimes. they make me so happy.

fortytwo at the end of the year, i hope i'll have more luck; no stitches pls.

nationaldayrally today was quite good. one of the few rallies for which i really listened.

school tmr, cant seem to be able to start my readings, but i must! go LU. i hope i can stay offline moreeee!

再也不明白在说的是什么

; wonders

i wonder if you are the same,
if you still held onto that dream you talked about;
i wonder if you are still that righteous and kind person i know;
i wonder if you still held the same beliefs;
i wonder if you still feel the same.

sometimes even i dont know if i am the same;
if i still care anymore.
i wonder if i had changed,
or if i could still work those gpa miracles;
if i still cannot commit myself;
if i still avoid responsibility,
if i am still her.

-
first day of lects, i'm already feeling the stretch. schoolwork, looking for internships, projects, quizzes, readings. year three wont be too kind on me. timetables: i'm still contemplating evolutionarypsychology. it seems rather difficult and biological-ish. i'll see how things go. i wont have too much time for thoughts to run wild, thankfully but sadly.

lu needs to stay sane. jiayou lu. gogogo (:

love singapore

love singapore
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

i was captured by straitstimes' national day special (: it started with this line, which has been in my mind since:

how much do i love thee, let me count the ways.

let me count the ways, and let me count my blessings.

i love singapore. do you?

再说你也不会懂

bestfriends.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTEST FRIEND!

for (as long as you dont mind) you'll be my best friend, forever. (:

connections

the internet is finally back, up and running. yayness. i think i really might die without the internet,esp if i am having hols and not working and without piyo at home. HAHA. thankgoodness for tv shows.

hols are ending, another new semester is beginning. i can foresee the mad rush, the fatigue, the lectures. ahh.
i just did up my timetable. suddenly remembered i used to send cecs my timetable every sem so we could arrange a time to meet. but this sem, she doesnt need it anymore ): HEHS. CECS i hope ure having fun! LOVE!

the end of summer.

cecs left on wednesday, for her big adventure in norway. wheees. but im gna miss having someone to whine and complain to. ): the bus ride home felt exceptionally cold. its as though you feel there's one less person on your side of the world. six months, then my bestest friend will leave for europe too. cant quite imagine life without having her 4 busstops down the road. but i'll manage. i have to.

joy's twentyfirst celebs today. felt the touch of dslr again. it feels good, yet event coverage is always stressful. but its good practice, for my girlfriends' wedding photos; i promised. i love my squadies. they make me so happy (:

work ended today. i'm just thankful. thankful for having met a nice uppercharge who is wholeheartedly willing to talk, teach and guide me. learning about wine is interesting. i'm glad that i've learnt this much, during the span of four weeks. and i enjoyed travelling around to the different branches. the reality of supermarket operations. overwhelming.

finally time to slack, pack things, settle down and get ready for a new semester. jiayou lu. rmb what you promised yourself. goodnight world.

timely reminder.

from my fave blog yhdxq:

Running in a race is a strange activity. It is done in solitude but together with the rest of the runners. You listen to your own footsteps and your own breathing rhythm. And only you yourself know when you are pushing your limits and pressing on when giving up seems to be the easiest thing to do.

only you really know yourself. or maybe you dont even know yourself wholly. perhaps there wont be anyone who really knows when you're trying your best, but you try your best all the same ; jiayou lu.

mind-food

THIS is quite radical heh. i've been trying to figure the Section XXXs and what those descriptions for the sections really mean. they're simple, yet complicated in law-lingo i dont understand. at least it shows that singaporeans aint as apathetic as we're made out to be.

THIS line from an article on the Global Positioning System from Time magazine jumped out at me; food for thought. perhaps time we start pondering about such issues. how true.

On a planet of 6 billion souls, GPS helps us to find ourselves. But it sometimes dazzles us to much that we forget what we still seek.

flight

another two of my fave people flew off to aussie ):
the sunny island feels a little lonelier overnight.
thankfully one is back, and another is coming back soon. still a negative sum; but.

and wahaha, i think my intuition is super accurate (: im just waiting to hear it personally. its not bagua, seriously. its care and concern for friends.

the midweek joke that never came. im not hoping. i shant expect further. just let things go as they should. anyhow, happiness cos friday's tmr (: yayness.

misses

redmoon and wongjia flew off. gosh. i miss.
and i havent met osy for 2958744334780 years.

and everything else is in a mess.
time to diet. I WISH.

days with grey.

cant help but worry about timetables everytime starsplanner comes around. rahh. there's the number of day/week, number of modules, what modules, which tutorial slot, which timing, what time to start your day, and the content of the modules itself to consider. so many constraints, too much worries.

i will settle on my timetable before monday. thats, by tmr (or technically by today, at the time of this post). omg.

and there's no redmoon and osy and yx in school to make my day. school reopening is starting to sound scarier. ): hurr. i have so many diff plans in stars. so many things i dont know how to tell people. stupid worrywart.

dont quite like it when i realise people are leaving soon, that people are sad, and that this world aint perfect. quite a control freak, i know. but i like to keep people by my side, and i like them to be happy.
i love being barefooted on the grass by the way. miss that feeling since npdays. (:

leap of faith

high elements today with the youths. the importance of that leap of faith. if we just believe and take that step, we'll know this world is safe; not quite as taunting as we've imagined it to be. hanging in mid air, i realised i had to learn to trust myself. halfway through the obstacle, i cant possibly give up. but feeling so helpless and alone up there is a terrible feeling.

working with youths had never been easy, i need to continue working on it. sometimes all they clamour for is your attention, and thats the very least i could give to them if i could do nothing else for them. perhaps this is what i've been looking for since i started two years ago. beyond the mentoring relationship; one on equal grounds and mutual learning. this is perhaps why i remained, and will be remaining. working with them makes me feel old, yet young at the same time. i still feel like a teen sometimes.

stress, often is a result of thought. that, i've always knew. but how do i control my thoughts, idk. :X i need to start working on my weak flabby fat arms ): super achy arms

alot more thoughts on my mind but i cant verbalise. happy midweek! (:

they were right, no one wants anyone to wait for them.

somehow i think she, she and she still think of him, him and him. how easy is it to forget someone who was once your closest? not quite.

really alot of june babies (: hahah. happy birthday sherline piyo lilin emily junfan nic! wheets.

because with you, i'm not afraid of the dark.

忍不住　想要愛你的衝動
不確定你屬於我　會有點寂寞
你給的幸福　在我心中自由走動
撫平我每一個傷口
忍不住　想要吻你的衝動
不確定我的執著　能讓你感動
我只能相信自己感受　不怕失落
關於你的一切　我想要比誰都懂

你是情人　還是朋友
還沒勇氣　想得太多
你的世界　如此遼闊
我會在哪個角落

punggol beach, 14th june 2009.

i love the sunrise. but they always seem better etched in pictures than in my memory. its true they happen everyday, but how often do we catch them?

hello there.

-second cycling trip this summer, this time to ubin. with entirely different company. i love how it feels like a whole big adventure. great company and the exciting DURIAN incident. i always loved ubin. it will remain my fave escape from the city, back to forests and kampung days.
-third cycling trip in eleven days. i love the wind blowing against me, i love the speed despite the recklessness, i love pushing against the gear which propels you forward. dl picked up cycling in a few hours, which he didnt do for the past twenty plus years. yayness. i hate losing, losing things, physical or non physical. nice blue skies just for jenn, invalidated by a lost wallet.
-dinner with jo and diana makes lu a happy girl (: my fave fish&chips doesnt taste the same though. but yumm mayo and raw sugar all the same.

i should go be productive and think about modules. seven or six? drop or continue? gogogo (:

reruns

have been trying to rerun all my previous running routes (but there're too many variations). discoveries of this evening's run: sembawang shopping center is up and running alr. it was still all dust and construction when i last ran past. and guess what! there's fish&co and starbucks now. makes for a perfect hideout (: thankfully though, the sunset and the clear blue skies accompanying my run remained as i remembered them to be. (: this is bliss.

some things remained the same, while others dont seem quite the same.

almost finishing my current read: eat pray love, by elizabeth gilbert. lovely book detailing three very different, but equally inspiring journeys. eat; indulge in what makes you happy. pray; all the world's religions share at their core something common. love; its that simple.

my fave physics lab partner (who happens to be my fave nurse as well),
HAPPY HAPPY TWENTYFIRST (:

stars!

starsplanner is out! BUT next sem will be the first time i will spend my birthday among papers, first in all (fourteen) schooling years. i will make it worth (: lu needs to pull her gpa up. but i think i wont be very much in contact with the econsgang after all. rah. so little econs mods that i can take. and all those clashes. i need my motivation. and i needa rethink psych.

baking with crys today! (: love the scent of green tea. meetups with two of my fave girls too. doesnt matter if its fattening carls'jr. (:

i've heard so much about people changing. people do change, don't they? and very drastically. how long would it take us to realise. how scary it is to discover that the world around you have moved on and changed, even when you thought things would remained the same.

think, lu, think.

SUNNYDAYS

i love the sun. okay, i promise to apply sunblock the next time if i rmb. stop scaring me with skin cancer threats everyone!

love it that im one shade darker! FINALLY (: after months! in fact, i cant rmb the last time i had this tan: not too tanned, just the amount of vitamin d i like. whee. even the uneven tan is yays.

i miss cycling. love how the wind blows against you, brushing against your cheeks and the excitement of speed. i shall be back again (: its like running, only faster and more of the knees than other parts of your body. i miss cycling to fong's.

blue skies

stay healthy, safe and happy everyone.
sundown ytd was okay (: mindbogging, but a good sweaty work out.
first run this year. cant wait for more runners' high.

because i'm really hoping it work out for them.

bunch of random things

HOME. feels nice, comfy, but a little too hot. (:
perptually sweaty. ):
excess baggage :S
piyo graduated (:
crowded comfy bed (:

the end of my five yumcha months. i will miss the people i see on a daily basis. hopefully, we wont let the friendship fade so easily. i'm ever grateful to them, for without them, life in hk would have been vastly different, and very lonely. i will miss the jidanzai and charsiew and cheap starbucks and peanut butter condensed milk toast. i will remember fondly the times we eat tgt (at all the same places), play badminton tgt (with the same routine yumcha session i like), and just seeing them, every other day. i will also miss my very nice roommate, tracy, who tolerated . i would love to visit her in US one day. i will miss my urban econs lect most, and also my psych proj group mates. such lovely buncha people. (: that concludes my exchange experience. gosh, i need more time to gather all my thoughts.

thankyou for all the love, my dears, while i'm away. i'm back (:

til then, summer, i hope i'll embrace you well.

goodbye; hello.

just like days when sunset arrives; just like games when time's up; just like computers when you shut down; five yumcha months is ending. seeing people around you move away, one by one, is a weird feeling. too much things, not much time.

i guess i just dont take goodbyes well. i prefer hellos. hello singapore (:

i met chingyi and emily ytd aniws (: whee. singaporeans in hkg!

my interpretation

i know im weird, but i love having just one song on loop. (: my interpretation by mika.

//i feel like my brain has deteriorated alot ever since i-dont-know-when. i cant seem to find my arguments! ): i need arguments. i need to answer the question succinctly. rah. i can do it.

love does not

i happened to chance upon the pinkdot facebook group and saw this under one of the photos. got to blog it down before i forget.

"Love does not discriminate. Only people do."

how very true.
i ought to be studying.

for a last goodbye

i didnt have courage to take the picture of the couple at the benches that evening (in case i get stared back at :S)
time is running out. i cant believe this is ending. and everything now, seems to be speeding past.




would you sit by the benches and just take in the sights with me?
one last time.

on a happier note, my dear wongchiobu is coming (: whee.this weekend!

explore.

thankful for inspiration and motivation in times when i need it most.

its echoes something i've been thinking about.

Maybe the day when you close your eyes, you still can't figure out what you want in life. No one can tell you what to look out for and where to search under. Explore.

// thanks to char, i'm a happy girl tonight. mika has happiness-inducing, lively, but not exactly happy songs. love it! my fave rendition of happy ending thus far (i need to stop youtubing like i dont have exams). whee (:

//i want to read storybooks. NOW.

but no hope no love no glory no happy ending.

beliefs

a reason to believe that persistence and justice will eventually prevail at the end of the day.
hang in there. (:

idk

i dont knowssssss. i really dont. BOOHOO.

101 things i do but study. haha thats why i cant be near my laptop when i study. rah. one of the songs that popped into mind today.

+ 749pm sunday 3 may, evening. accounting! rahh.



instead, im backreading an entire sem worth of articles on economist.com, mankiw's blog, and straitstimes. urgings to go run, taking random photos and wanting to edit them, thinking of random stuff. things i could do every other normal day, but dont. instead, i only feel like reading and doing them during exam time, but its totally the wrong time to. ): i miss my weekly Times subscriptions.

i was craving for caffemocha just now, i even thought i would marry whoever would fly me to the nearest starbucks and back. (i hope jay=superman) how many times have i played this game each sem? i dont have the luxury of time. i'm junking too much ):

exams = fat.
exams=incoherence.
i refuse to be stressed.

i miss sunsets (: clear, beautiful sunsets. the photo above was taken at oceanpark, thursday evening. possibly the last time i utilise the annual pass. unless i go back myself again after exams. when i have the courage to (:

keeping sane

its may the first already. omgomogomg.

which marks the start of THE take home assignment. i just feel dead, very dead. with accounting and urban econs looming and now, econ devlpm of china. go lu. jiayou.
i'm trying, trying very hard to keep sane.

i'm needing another jog tonight. rah.

eviews. wahaha.

happened to look into 204b proj report for last sem to copy my fave cover page layout for report (hurr acctg) and omg. i am reminded of those late nights at hss free access lab, visits to rahman office and staring at eviews, confused. and that twenty page report of numbers and terms i cant even spell properly (heteroskedasticity?).

a semester have since past.
those were the days. bittersweet.
but are those the days i'm returning to?

study for now, lu. (: just study

because hating is too tiring.

how far more before those vows?

a whole new world

its back to the tons of readings for now. and studying! and projects. i'm still looking for the adrenaline rush, for the perfect spot where i feel comfortable studying at, for the feeling that i deserve a good dinner after an entire day of studying. and the auto-routine of studying in school early in the morning, and going back only when the skies are dark.

i cant decide which part of the song is better. so, go on, discover your own fave whole new world .the song that kept playing in my mind (: i had always loved disney animations. so disneyland is like a dream wonderland. yays.

only one mth left here. jiayou lu. (: gogogo ! yingu, tgit. ossie, jiayou! everyone, jiayous (:

no one to tell us no /or where to go /or say we're only dreaming

better weather please. at least for today.

yesterday was already saddening enough. i only hope piyo enjoy her time here! (:

running route discovery

yayness. i'm quite sure there's truth in the notion that exercising releases happy hormones. endorphins; runner's high. today just feels like a good day (night) to jog (: esp after xiaolongbaos and jianbaos over the weekend. hahah. SUMMER is here! tees and fbts for running! the warmth- i dare not complain. cos during the colder days, what i wished for was this warmth. running is love. (:

plus, i finally found a loop running route near hostel tonight. :D even though there's downslopes, but it isnt as demoralising as upslopes. pity the discovery is a little late, i wont get to enjoy the new route too often. but exams are near, running freq shall increase. (:

sad, i wun be able to join the weekend badminton gang this week ): there's this thing at the back of my mind, dreading which session would be the last. and i kinda miss my singaporean gang here already. heh! char just made me realised that i hadnt been seeing them much these days ):

its scary, May will be here in no time, and that means exams and home. its a dilemma. heh. i dont know if anyone would understand. meanwhile, i shall just bury in books, notes, piyo's company and starbucks coffee.

only because you're there.

shanghai is lovely, only because yingu is there and piyo is with me.

(: thank you to one of the few dearest people in my life.
im sorry for being grumpy on days. haha. but its just me.

but really. the sights are beautiful, only because there's someone to share it with.
i love shanghai. not cos of the place. but more than that, its cos of the people with whom my memories of shanghai are etched with. thank you. (:

shanghai

lucia is in shanghai with piyo! (: meeting yingu later! yayness.

must rush proj report tonight! and i cant believe i forgot my travellers plug. BOO. to think i tot im always well packed. haha. i realised i dont quite like travelling. rah, its so tiring. haha.

okay, see you all. i'll be back to reality (and mugging and projs again) on sunday.

yo piyo (:

piyo in hkg in less than 12 hrs. (: whee!
cant wait for today to go past. RAH presentations and quizzes.
this might just be my happiest night in hkg so far :D
and yingu in two days' time! YAY
im not expecting much from shanghai, considering ive NOT done any research on where to go yet. HAHA. doesnt matter. i guess, im just there for yingu. and for my first travelling trip with piyo. and for the shanghai air. thats enuff. dont be too greedy :P

two papers semester

it feels like my slackest semester ever.

when i clicked on the exams timetable link, there were only TWO DATES. haha. yes, it came as a shock. HAHA. but it doesnt count actually. some papers (for AHEMpsytestingANDcantoneseAHEM) comes just one week before exams starts. so cheaterbug! its as good as a final exam, though its called a quiz. boo. and there's the scary eightypercent paper to write in 10 days. my readings arent anywhere near halfway. rah. i hate exams. i'm dead. its in a month's time. HURR.

lu shall stop complaining.

and anyhow, i really want to explore more of hkg, but with school at the back of my mind, how easy is that heh. go lu. (: and i cant wait to visit ying and see piyo, right after two exams and one presentation next week. i will get through it (:

and i just realised its the last thirtypercent for i/o coming monday. i ought not go out this weekend. but i am. ): im contemplating 24hr macs. lu should studyyyy!

and the ntu people, JIAYOU FOR EXAMS TOO (: its not very different over here. haha.

phototrip

on days when:
-i manage to get myself out of hall and stop lazing around; and
-i think i finally may understand why people like hongkong (for the tenth time)

i manage to take one of my better photos of central.its beautiful. pity i live too near the city. but i like the tram + wind.

early morning adrenaline

(i couldnt even last a week :x )
i'm quite excited. i'm blogging this down, not cos of the individual presentation tmr, but cos its the first time I'm up this late, for a long long time, rushing projects. age is indeed catching up. 3am on this and this. i hope im not keeping my floormates up.

did i tell u, i quite like the adrenaline?
even tho i hate rushing projs.

its been so long, i missed u. i hope it lasts. because after tmr (or technically today), there's still tons of readings/ lect notes to catch up on. i don't want to lose you. i dont want another mad rush before the next quiz that's coming up. but u only come when its econs. love never hides. HAHA.

i long for the sunrise at ecp.
i enjoy showing photos of people/events that are significant to me to other people. weird, i know, and i'm just boring them with it. shucks. won't anyone care to hear?
and i dont like my messy table. they reveal the state of my mind. ):
im incoherent.

motivation

the stars gleam and glitter only when the sky is dark. so dont despair in
moments of darkness.

i'm learning
and trying.
still.

shall try not to blog here till all the assignments/projects are done.
a month? haha. GOGOGO! (: jiayou everyone!
---

its earth hour this saturday. i shall try my best to conserve energy. not just 830-930pm on the 28th. but every other day in our life. but maybe, with all the lights finally switched off, i can see stars at night in hkg.

PHOTOS GONE ):

i lost some february photos ): RAH. RAHHHHHHH. sad ): BOO that dvd-r.

tons of readings/ reports / presentations. lucia needs to jiayou. dont complain! go go go! shall lock myself in the library and school benches. no diana to entertain me with porky and play the determination game. no jo to randomly msg. no ossie to talk and whine to. no mei to kope seats at woodlands with. no yingu to panic tgt with. u've gotta try even harder to mugg, lu.

but i'm thankful for the singaporegang i've got here. they got me through these few months.

and i really enjoyed the museum trip on monday even though it was info overload. date me, museum buddy, when i'm back! or i'll date you! we've still got a list of museums in singapore to visit!

quote from one of my psy testing proj readings:

happiness is dependent on unhappiness, while unhappiness is hidden in happiness.

and i dont like knowing people are troubed yet cant do a thing to help. couldnt the world be simpler? but would simpler be happier? i dont know. i dont even know myself, how do people know me?

ceiling on happiness.

i always believed that we have a limit on the amount of happiness we can get in a day / in a week. its as if, when u feel extremely happy in one part of the day, or on certain days of the week, the next part wont feel too good. which is why im alw afraid to say i'm v happy.

i'm worried that happiness will run out. ): and whenever i think of this, its cos i'm feeling like my happiness had run out already. heh.

dont know how i'm feeling. but im just waiting for the choc i just ate to take effect. hopefully.

its days like this when u feel like going home.
go lu. jiayou.

hold on to our dreams

i miss my stnicks days ): i miss the school hall, singing our hearts together, cheering.

how sweet (:


hold on to the sound of our friends so joyously singing (: its one of my fave ij song! ij friends, friends for life!

don't

running felt good, esp in the less freezing weather tonight. it cleared my mind, much needed. lu thinks too much of other things, too little of econs and psych ): dont think. dont read into things. i dont want to be too inituitive outside of econs intuition. seriously.

i/o psych today was blah. i dont like being unable to handle tests, regardless of whether my gpa counts, or doesnt count. gotta start getting going. readings are waiting. rmb your resolutions. and i worry for the people hurt by the ntu incidents. it made me suddenly miss school, my econsgang, southspine's mr bean, and the study benches at northspine. all those random aimless walking around school just to escape from studying. haha. and also the very sweet people like crys and minghui who makes me smile myself silly on fb.

dont wait til you lose it to miss it.

i hope you're not waiting for me, cos i'm not worth waiting for.

ace

just wanted to say: i'm so so so so proud of mr pzh! he literally ACEd it (: i'm so proud of him! his GP was even better than me! :/ (theres really smth abt my gp) its this happiness from within, truly happy for someone had a second chance to show his potential. (: YAYNESS.

that finally, and thankfully, its not too late.

i hope its not too late for me to mugg for my monday quiz too. go LU. gogogo! shall go offline!

where no one knows my name.

i'm finally back in hongkong. in the comfort of my room, using my all familiar laptop.

gosh, the past week felt so long. but i'm just glad i am able to be here, to have stayed safe, and to have done something i might never have done if i had hestitated the other day while booking the tickets. i'm sorry i made my family and friends worried! but i'm safe now (: hee

i think i am very blessed and lucky, for i've met so many people who helped me along the way during these 7 days. this trip to kunming/dali/lijiang, i dont know how to sum it all up, except that i'm glad i've seen the ancient towns of dali, lijiang and shuhe (and i like lijiang's most), that i've hiked the tiger leaping gorge (my very only goal), that i've learnt that the world is so big and i'm only so small, and that there's so many people on their real adventure around the world right this moment, i'm just waiting for the time to start mine. (:

shant bore you all with the details of the trip. its not particularly exciting, but i'm just glad i went for it. travelling alone is NOT cool, its scary, in fact. having to fend for yourself and being on a constant lookout for yourself. but i guess thats how we learn, and its how we grow.

europe! wait for me. perhaps then, i wont travel alone. its always good to have someone share the sights.

there's something at the back of my mind, i cant quite figure. argh.

jiayou lu for midterms (: u can do it.

left in too much of a rush yesterday evening that i didnt get to blog.

in short:
i spent 1 night at shenzhen airport,
took a 3 hours plane ride,
and another 5 hours bus ride.

AND i'm in Dali now, finally. (: stay safe i know. sty strong!

dont tell me

its a difficult week, i'm worried about friends, even if i am too far away to help. jiayou (: love is something i cant fathom. i may think i know, since they say bystanders know best. but i know i dont. there is so much that words alone cant describe. its weird. why is it that something can bring so much joy, together with so much hurt? maybe thats the trade off, the risk you undertake by opening your heart out to other people. perhaps its better to keep it closed, after all.

jiayou piyo for exams! GOGOGO! (: its recess week in singapore. gosh.

and planning for yunnan! (: lu gotta stay strong. even if i'm always acting strong, belief can make reality. make-believe belief. and of cos, stay safe. this weekend,i'm back to streaming Boston by Augustana. its addictive. and yutian.

we are never the people we think we are. we are the ones we pretend, with all our hearts, we can't become.

when the crowd leaves, and i sit down with myself, i feel bad for laughing, teasing and bullying some people. i shouldn't i know. but i never seem to realise that then. i want to apologise for being mean, but the words never seem to come. bahh. lu needs to be a nicer girl.

after the rain, could we have sunshine already please?

gosh. its days like this when i feel of so little help. when i feel the distance across the oceans even more. argh. it sucks, when u know that as a friend, you totally fail. and that nothing you said are of actual help. i guess its days like these when u emo. and feel like catching on the next plane home. either that or head straight back into your blanklets and hide. hide away like i always did.

jiayou.
i still love your voice. but i hate to imagine the hurt behind those vocals.

freak. ARGH. bahh.

Nothing is easier than self-deceit, for what each man wishes that he also believes to be true . (Tenth Circle, Jodi Picoult)

it was the games of basketball yesterday and badminton today that i suddenly felt a reminder sent from my body that:

i am v unfit and significantly older than when i last remembered.

esp for the bball match, a half court, 3 on 3 on lamma island. i was panting, barely 15 mins into the game. tell me what happened to my short bursts of energy. ): sometimes, running doesnt help. you dont feel as much effects of age as you do when you're in a game. (: i hate admiting that. but otherwise, i have to admit im unfit. even though i know i am.

but it was good. games are much less lonely than running.

merely one of your construct

tutu angbaos. thankyou (: i miss all of them. i couldnt stop grinning when i read the notes inside. and ossie would be gg exchange for one sem too. (: tho i will miss her.

i think the only module i dont like is psytesting. the rest are okay/nice/interesting! boo psytesting and the canto speaking tutor. :/

the world i left would be a different world when i return.
dont wait til you lose things, to cherish them.
go LU.

counting blessings.

the week long cny holiday ended, with five day week lessons resuming. i realised i have not done any readings / tuts over the 9 days! HAHA. and i have a test and presentation next monday. it feels good to be back at school, but its a challenge, without my usual econsgang company. thankfully, and perhaps it is will, psych lessons alone last semester prepared me a lil for what to expect this sem. i think i know how it feels ossie.

over the week, i explored more: oceanpark, lantau, macau. i wondered if those trained seals and dolphins were really happy. its sad that they've been forced to do the performances for us. i dont want to imagine how the trainers trained them, much as i enjoyed the show. i dont know, but do we have a right to manipulate them? i saw how people lived in small zinc houses by the sea in the fishing villages. they seem happy enough,yet why am i feeling sad for them? maybe they are feeling sad for me instead. that i dont realise how fortunate i am at home with a concrete roof over me, airconditioner fan tv. and in comparison, our house is already very big and stable. no need for the upgrade frenzy, really. and i wonder, those at the casinos, trying their luck. had they known how unlikely it was to win?

ying is leaving for china in a week's time, which will leave us 24hrs away from each other.
and this week, there's LEW's birthday! :D im missing so many twentyfirsts. pecks, peijia, crystal. gosh. but know that my wishes are with you.

seven modules, four months, miss home, many essays. jiayou lu! dont emo so much.

a different cny.

its my first time away from home during cny! haha. i'm trying not to feel empty, though i wake up each morning feeling this emptiness in my heart. its cold in hkg,and i've made a habit out of checking the weather before i go out everyday. haha. but i'm doing fine, dont worry everyone (:

thankfully my siss and mum still skype with me, so it makes things much easier.hehhh i'm so lousy. :X its such a strain on them, but thankyou piyo tare and mummmmy! (: i miss shou sui-ing with piyo! and the 12am handshake every yr. hehhh. this year though, i caught a movie on the cable tv in hall with vina&jason. okay, such a lightbulb but. :D i kept awake. yay.

also thanks to char's auntie for the reunion dinner.it makes cny much more bearable. and poor char who is stuck with me for the whole of this week! WAHAH. i pity her.

even though much of the traditions for cny, people no longer follow...but i think cny is a time for the family to gather together, catch up, give thanks and reflect on the year before. have a great chinese new year ya all!

mei's flying off. ): I MISS. already. and the gang in ntu. BOO!

hello spring, goodbye winter.

world peace
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

LU started lessons and have sort of setled her modules(finally). YAY. still thinking about cantonese class though. haha.

the weekend flew past with the city tour to kowloon, new territories and hongkong island. at least i now know more about hongkong. the history is intriguing. shall go visit the MUSEUMs one day (: but my museum buddy isnt with me here. HEH!

meier and ying are flying off soon too. gosh. i know the pre-leaving blues, panic and rush. heh. then we'll be really all around the world. remind me to make my best out of this time here. though lessons would be busy (with 6 or 7 mods this sem), i hope to EMO LESS, TRAVEL MORE, SMILE MORE, LEARN MORE, SEE MORE, KNOW MORE. and i want to be nicer (: and happier.

i'm beginning to like this city for its countryside. the pretty beaches, the sea, the mountains.
sounds like an oxymoron. :X

i still miss home. and i'm still not a hall person. jiayou!

i dont know how to handle the loneliness! i wan to be back for cny! ): but stay strong lu. gogogo. i hope i enjoy my time here. and jiayou for lessons. i will, i hope :D go lu.

one week

i've been here, officially for a week! gosh, it felt like a month though. :X
im still missing home plenty. wished i was home for cny. BAHH. get thru it lu. GOGOGO.

urban econ looks taunting.
psych testing is like projs based, largely.
econ devlp of china is ALL READINGS ):

go LU.

in the cold

i think i could finally write this post now.

this is lucia, in hongkong. gosh, this is surreal. its like, BLINK and i'm here. i still have plenty of stuff to do (eg the research report, omg i'm dead). starting school on monday. hope everything goes well!

i'm missing home alot alot. and missing my frens alot too.

i can just walk on the streets, think about some random thing in the short span of my (almost entirely) 20 years in singapore and feel like my eyes are giving way. i've been trying hard not to cry, because i know thats not going to change anything. i only cry when i cant help it. HAHA stupid lu the crybaby. i ought to be more independent! (: GOGOGO! if diana and jojo and ossy can survive out there, so can lu.

or maybe its the seasonal affective depression due to the winter now. its SUPER COLD. brrrrr. as cold as (and even colder when the wind blows) in Nan. and even then, in Nan, the afternoons was SUMMERish. hkg is like cold and windy all day these days.

CANT WAIT FOR SPRING (: and SUMMER. i shall stop complaining. (:

go lu. and go you. (: may all things go well (:

isit me or did i sense sadness in your eyes?

the truth.

its really true when people says time flies. an entire thirty one days of december can just slip by, right before my eyes, and i dont even realise til its gone. its january. its january. and i'm still living like its the holidays. i'm leaving the safest place on earth, for this distant, unfamiliar place soon. gosh.

i'll be back in no time. i'll be back in singapore, while i might never have such an extended stay in hkg. i will miss home plenty, but that should not overshadow everything else. there was a trip sometime back, when i missed home so much that i didnt experience or enjoy anything during that entire trip at all. that shant happen ever again.

serx flew off on newyear's day. hope she'd reached and adapting well to the cold.
family cny reunion dinner today (: YUMMM. and LOVE.
i hope piyoloh gets well soon! and everyone else in the family. some flu bug going around.
met up with jo and diana (: they're finally safely back home after so many months. i miss!
meeting fong and osy tmr! :D

resolutely so

finally settled on the six.

this year, go LU.
keep them in mind. jiayou (:

lets have a good 2009 ahead!