FLEW!

one of my fave girl just flew off this morning at 6am. and i cant sleep despite camping with lyy and mei the entire night at the airport. haha.

she probably won't see this, but gosh, i will miss her alot. no yeetheng to YEEtheng, with the long YEE sound. no YO, as replies. no WELL DONE. the year ahead seems taunting without my econs gang. my support group in school. but i bet she'll have tons of fun there so i must be happy for her. its so hard to see her leave, almost on the verge of tears. six months six months. (:

and reality hits home.

soon, it'll be me.

i hope i can not sleep, to enjoy the luxury of the twentyfour hours everyday. thats not even enough though. heh.

lessons learnt

addicted to this: and a million other versions of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o0Nibn7n7E

no one's infallible. but that fall came super hard. its a reminder. infallible you aint.
its so glaring. i never knew.
i'll get over it. just time. some time.
-
its also the time for new year resolutions and reflections. evauations of our hopes, goals and dreams. looking back at the twelve months and how things had become.

last year, i said.

its so difficult to leave. i dont know how they do it. but leave i must. act if i have to. bahh. i cant wait to whine to jo! (jo's finally coming back and yet im leaving. rah. ): i hate emo mornings. RAH. the next person who asks me when im leaving, im gg to burst out in tears. RAHHHH. i hate.

i miss.

i was uploading old photos onto the class photobucket when i suddenly realised i miss the times when tutuohfive was a large part of my everyday. its the feeling that you go to school and know they will always be there. its the plain, simple, routined and tranquil kind of life.

thank god for all the photos for they help me rmb the things that i hold dear but forgot. thank you,for tutu is still a large part of my life. not the everyday life, but the memory and spirit. (: i hope we'll always stay as a class. this strong.



how we had changed.
and how we had thought things would stay the same.

timeout.

asian civilisation (37) copy
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

escaped and museumed! (:

things i hope i do before i leave:
-national museum history gallery
-philatelic museum
-marina barrage!
-buddyhoagies
-sunrise!
-phototrip around central singapore
-FOOD FOOD FOOD!

merry christmas (:

SOME walk.

love this song currently (:


lu spent the weekend walking for Let's Take a Walk (: and man, it was SOME experience.

thinking back, i really think a 100km walk was crazy. we only did about 80km of the 100km, but its still a really great effort by everyone! GOOD JOB! i'm thankful everyone did it tgt, cos its the presence of everyone else, who pushed me on. team work and motivation: its always easier as a group. (: YAY YAYY. i will rmb the laughter, the lame jokes, the banter, the z monster battles, the cold night wind, the craziness, the highway trek, the incoherence, sleeping right in the middle of changi village and changi coastal park's hut, and the realisation that running was painless relative to walking.

i was wrong, walking trumps jogging anytime in terms of difficulty. jogging is so much easier (and less blisters inducing)! when u jog, you know you're getting much nearer the final point. when you walk, its crazily endless. i salute walkers. really.

i hate the blisters on my feet. i dislike my lousy right leg ):

thankyou the jigglypuff, walkholics anonymous, hoseh! and (most imptly) Bridgers. it was SOME walk. thankyou for the 80km. and all the efforts that got me walking on. <3 pity the last 20km, perhaps someday. someday 100km would be achievable (: i believe.

i saw the goodness again. (: thankfully.
i hope its to stay. that its not another misjudgement, another mirage, that will eventually disappear.

pls dont. its been a trying two years. i wish it over soon. so you'll return to what you used to be, in my mind. the goodness, nothing else.

rainy weekend
failed cinnamon rolls
running nose
sleep

-crys' advanced twentyfirst party
it was almost like a squadmates meetup (: happyfying!
-ajisen with cecs and pecks. finally interrogated cecs. whoo! (:
but i was sneezing away all the time. argh.

i think i had forgotten how it was like to be sick. uber urgh. hopefully i hadnt spread it to my siss and mum.i feel better today! time for those packing up/ christmas cards/ presents. go lu! and i read this phrase from Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult and thought its very true.

a world that's crowded with people could still be a very lonely place

spells love!

thankyou michie chua for the surprise visit (: eight years. time flies. my squadmate, ccc teammate, friend and schoolmate. yays to buddyhoagies, northpoint and library coffee. we're bookworms, we really are. except she is a worse case. 16 library books at one go! OMG.

i love my squadmates. and i'm seeing more tmr! (: WHEEEE!

thankyou ossie for the supper ADVENTURE TRIP on tuesday night.

i miss st nicks. must orangebowl before i leave.

and YAYS CECS IS BACK (:

42.195km (:

at least when I completed yesterday’s marathon, I didn’t promise myself I won’t go again. I know I will always fall for the temptation when the registration time comes. I was basically talking to myself, and trying to find a replacement for the stupid right leg along the way. BAHH. I could have been faster, if my mind was stronger. But for now, thank god I’m back in one piece, and with aches and knee pain but LOOK MUM, no blisters this time :D yayy!

and I missed cam’ons outing ): was super tempted to go cos that’s prolly the last time I wil see them before I leave, considering everyone’s busy schedule. Bahh ): but i couldnt even walk. or maybe its the same problem. i think i couldnt.

mental, you know. mental.

如果海會說話 如果風愛上砂

海角七號 is nice (:


nine hours to forty two. thinking about it makes me worry! GOSH.

JIAYOU LU (:

bliss

as i get older, i dont really enjoy celebrating my birthdays. it makes me realise, i dont do anything to deserve such love, but yet i am blessed with friends and family who have always tolerated and loved me instead. every year is a realisation of what i have not done for them. it is a motivation to treat them nicer and to be a nicer person myself, yet all too often, its easy to forget.

thankyou piyo tare mummy. thankyou bestest friend. thankyou econs gang.
and thank you tutucians. my loveliest bunch of classmates aka kampung kias, and my simplest and most sincere group of friends (: the classmates are super cute and thoughtful. haha. i thank god i've met such wonderful classmates at aj. each gathering is a reminder that aj was a blessing in disguise. i guess we may never know what life have in place for us, until we experience it. i love gelare waffles (:

thank you, for i will go to sleep tonight, feeling like a blessed child. i am not ready to grow up (although people have been hinting in their bday wishes that i shld :X). but, who says we need to? :P
---

i had an ubin cycling trip to start the week (: we got to this new place, which gave me the feeling that i'm back at Nan! the highlands, plantations, fresh air and mudtrails. the mountainous feel that overlooks part of the island. no buildings, no anything. omg, i fell in love with that place. i felt this sense of happiness overwhelming me when i was there, cant explain why. but i miss Nan so much. ):

---
4days.i've already got my mind all psyched up I THINK. go go go, all the way. (:

goal: 42.195km
motivation: bananas.

letters for emily

my first read for the holiday- Letters for Emily by Camron Wright. i would like to quote this very touching verse.

My existence will be utterly miserable if you are not standing by my side. I will shiver, for you are my warmth- I will be lonely, for you are my friend- I will feel lost, for you are my guide. Everything good in me, no matter how small, you discover. I long to see you smile in the morning, to feel your touch in the evening.

I hope I am not too late.

aww ): i think you've got to read the book to feel touched by the verse. i find it really touching.
a novel about a father's love, a grandfather's love, and a couple's salvaged love. and there's so much about life we can learn from the book. from Harry's letters.

also, lu is thankful. that i am surrounded by people who love me. i am fortunate. thankyou thankyou thankyou. thankyou to the econs gang for the steamboat present cakesss laughter. thankyou mei,ying,dan,theng,val,minghui,fatein,huiyi,redmoon,kami,kat(CUPCAKES),meijie. <3 (: thankyou for being a big part of my uni life.

9 days to 42km. go lu. (: i hope you're not too late for this at least!

it'll be a long time.

it'll prolly be a long time before i see the econs people. this sem went past really fast. i didnt felt like i had the time to catch my breath. i dont even know how to face next sem. really, i dont.

three books from the library trip for company now! YAY. i was tempted away while looking for seats on thurs :X

lu wants to go cycling, beaches, ubin, somewhere nature-ish. too much buildings for too long. lu needs to run and train for 7dec. (to make resolution completion one step nearer) needs to cheer up and stay happy. needs to start plans going.

off i go to be a bookworm (: i miss reading fiction.

beauty is.

i was just looking at my sharing folders. some really lovely pics thanks to jeremy. i promised myself i'll be back. there. endless horizons, dramatic sunsets, plenty of greens.

for now, i shall be out and about with the camera soon (: sunrise sunset cloudyskies!

jiayou to everyone who is having/going to have exams! GOGOGO! (: just one more lu.

http://chubbyhubby.net/blog/?p=548

this is like the DREAM KITCHEN seriously. omg! PRETTY.

back to psych! gogogo (: i miss my foodpornblogs.
soon.

positivity

i only wanted to blog that:

i enjoyed my evening run ytd.
after such a long break, the lethargy is finally gone.
replaced with a reminder of why i love jogging. the light steps, the natural rhythm, and the feeling that you can conquer the whole world with your runs. (:

its one of those rare days that i feel all positive. even though i have slacked the past two days away ): jiayou! psych psych psych. :D

halfway mark

lu's econs exam week is over. the psych week is next.

gosh. it hadnt been good.
but jiayou lu (: u needa last through. without all the pimples outbreak my mum have been talking about. exams are numbing. going through the three days feeling nothing but panic. and the first shocker is BLAH. i should stop whining about it. i know i shouldnt keep harping on it. but its just something tugging at the back of my mind. hidden it, but something's been telling me, this sem had gone way wrong.

we cant afford to fall, can we?

the halfway mark,
would you pull me through?

at least i could pretend to smile. at least i can try to cheer you on. go lu! (: jiayou !

something happy (:

just wanted to blog down something happy.

dont think i laughed that much in weeks. i really laughed til my stomach muscles were almost going to cramp. tutucians always make my day. (: the random things we do. standing along and blocking public corridors just talking away and waiting for someone to decide what's next. hee. always ending up suaning baguamate and woah, we have new targets today. s and jh. :P

i feel really sorry i hadnt been catching up much on their life, and another sem just flew past alr. gosh. go girls for exams! i'm happy for the guys who're ording soon! (: and even happier for phua. he is going to get at least 3 As.

all that, despite exams in four days' time and im only just starting. SHUCKS lu :S gogog! thank you. you dont know how therapuetic it was for me. taking myself away from the gloomy week of rushing reports and preparing the final stretch. i think it recharges. i hope im ready to face it.

HAPPY BDAY HENG! TWENTY! ahahah!

time to study hard lu. LAST STRETCH. give it your best shot.

barely

yay. the report is finally done. but there's still psych report hanging around.
less than a week to go. omg. lu u hafta jiayou! feels like the worst sem ever. no more repeats okay. GOSH.

and even though i always tell people not to get overly dependent on coffee, but i think the coffee addict is back ): weeks of past 2am bedtime can kill an old woman like me.

and i whine too much here.stay strong. trying to.

thats my defence mechanism

hello piggy
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

laugh, grin, pretend not to hear/mind, rebutt defensively.
that's my defence mechanism, when you catch me by surprise, when there's some truth i cannot say, or when my brain needs much more time to think it through.

whats yours?

there's no jo to randomly msg while studying, i ended up msging random people. hehs ): i think i made people worry. i'm sorry, dont mind me. im just usually cranky whenever exams come round. my studybuddy knows best. but even she's not around this sem ): \

prof reminded me that sometimes when things happen, its entirely an exogenous factor thats causing it. but yet we tend to point fingers around all too often. if anything, its my fault, no one else's. remind me to be a better person. please.

anyhow i really thought i would become frozen pork on the train home today. isn't 25degc the optimal temperature?

a better world

lu thinks that the world is better off without models. regression models.

the past few evenings/nights in the itl trying to figure a regression model brought back cold windy scary nights to the journey home. no shooting stars ): its almost the end of the sem, and i do feel quite sad. this week's like the last week of the semester routines. i will miss it, i think. five hour tuesdays break, one lessons days and mad rush thursdays. whatever it is, know that at least you're doing stuff you chose, and liked (:

cant seem to know whats on my mind. neither could i verbalise it. but increased heart rates should mean something.
be a nicer girl. try, harder.
gogogo!

RESET

museum (21)
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

sometimes i wished i could just press the RESET button, resetting everything back to its default.

this sem and in fact, this year, i felt, had gone way wrong, like i did. and i dont like it. ): i dont like how i'm behaving, the choices i made and all thats around me. i wished i had a chance to change how things went. but know it may never be changed.

if there's one thing you could change, what would it be?
my mentality.

spotandshoot08

spotandshoot 08 today with SLR. i was LJS the last time (:


if there's anything other than fatigue, its that i've discovered:
-the tang shui (desserts) at chinatown complex is very nice! #02-206
-i love the national museum. such a lovely place that gives the feel for pics.
-little india looks vaguely like siemreap town.
-i still love photography.
-(i ought to study tmr! i promise myself.)

didnt take much, but this is my fave photo of the day:

i miss you.

i dont know if its jay's songs, his voice, the exams or a combination of all that the worrywart is morphing into some emo girl. everytime i listen to his songs. ):

and from shi guang ji, gei wo yi shou ge de shi jian is fast becoming my fave song. fittingly emo.


i wanted to say i miss u. but didnt.
jiayou.

Capricorn <3

sorry i couldnt resist the outburst.

JAY I LOVE YOU.

wahaha. i had my first peek into the songs only at 9pm on 15th oct.

as always, jay eludes that reassuring feeling when we listen to his songs. he is always able to cheer us up, excite us and inspire us. that's why i love him. thankgod for jay, i have songs for company when i battle THE exams. thankyou my studybuddies for the late cranky evenings in school. i needed that.

there i go again. i know i know. go offline lu, jiayou lu! i need to relove econs. find back the love lu!


its amazing how lonely it can get in a crowd.

recession

gosh some really bad news over the past week.

SINGAPORE is in a technical recession after the economy slipped into negative territory for the second quarter in a row, dragged down by a slump in exports and a weak property market.

But the real recession, which usually portends job losses, will probably come next year when the Republic feels the full impact of the global economic slowdown, warned economists.

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_288489.html

sometimes i wished i was doing macro this sem. so that i wont have to dig up my very old introductory macro notes and try to figure. ): it can get really depressing.

and saturday flew past, and so will sunday. hehhh. jiayou lu!

gosh, 204b is a big headache. three meetings and no breakthru.

save me, some Econometrics Expert/Shen/God.

trying not to be self absorbed. keeping myself sane in this crazy world. keeping negativities at bay. thats all you need, lu, for the five weeks to come. concentrate. focus.

learnt in psych class this week that for Kohlberg's theory of moral development, most ppl would be in the preconventional and conventional stage, but few reach the post-conventional stage in their lifetime. it shall be a resolution, perhaps a lifelong goal. belief in humanity, universal human rights and a personal moral code.

gosh that's tough.

i realise today i enjoy reading blogs cos there's so much insight and learning points. revisited this blog today after a long time, where someone is in the same dilemma and struggle. someone grapples with the same daily issues that i grapple with. it always feel better to have company, doesnt it?

happy (belated) children's day. wished i received presents like i did in pri sch. could we all retain the curiousity, innocence and kindness as we did ten years ago pls?

its one of those days when i feel lousy, sucky and frustrated all at once. rah. let me be a better person. but how easy is that?

just a bunch of photos. these and wsc new volunteers camp and camonions dinner. that sums up my recess week.

i miss the girls in my life. plenty. and diana too (with whom i hardly take photos with)

i ran this evening and saw the pretty sunset. yishun does have a place with pretty sunset, unobstructed by buliding like in bblc. i wished i had a cam with me. but at least my eyes took in the beautiful tints of pink and orange (: tranquil.

chase away the end of recess week blues

would you sing for me?

BYEBYE RECESSWEEK! WILL MISS YOU. ):

you can actually preorder husband saya's new album "Capricorn" at major CD stores now (: there's two editions apparently; a metal box and a paper box. i dont know whats the diff tho!

recess week is almost over. ): i havent got the luxury to stay at home an entire day this whole week. ought to start looking at the projs and tuts thats piling HIGH. no time!

lu pls rmb to do your tuts and start thinking about projs. wo wei ni jia you!

the sand, the volleyball games, the jigong fans, the guitars, the lessons, the rocks, the nights, the mealtimes. snippets of everything, coming back all over. sometimes i wish i could spare me the emoing.

and i miss you.

i know i shouldnt, but i get damn sad over things i know i shouldnt. RAHH stupid lucia the worrywart.

the other day someone from wsc was asking me, 'then what do you want to be in the future?'. its my 14357400747058690th encounter with this question. but i havent got the answer yet. i dont know. i really dont. i'm an economics student who doesnt like banks. who doesnt like business-ish stuff. sometimes, even i dont know me.

i should really concentrate on what i need/have/must/should do. prof li said today that since i was doing okay at school, that would mean i could manage my time. two total untruths. why dont i ever fit into the mould of other people?

jiayou lu. six weeks to go. less, with the projs.

can...not?

can i stay that strong? can i withstand all these? will i learn to believe? are things as easy to hold onto and let go of? is it that easy to stay happy? can we follow our dreams and ideals? will we eventually find the one?

its difficult. but i really appreciate it. putting things into perspective does help a lil. i'm not les, but neither am i pro-man. its so confusing, this world. sometimes i think i should never have to make sense of it.

its tuesday morning and i refuse to sleep. SAD. xinhui's leaving for another (at least) nine months tonight. i'll have to miss her again ): no more weekly meetings with her to EAT (carlsjnr,orangebowl,macs). i think i need another run. no, wait, i'm meeting the tutugirls for badminton later. and tutu alws equals love.

thaiexpress with squaddies at j8 on friday. massive phototaking. even massive-er overeating. thai main course and dessert. hkg/taiwan desserts again.
happy ichiban with the camonions monday night too. overeating. again.

JAY IS LOVE

i hate you. you made her cry and that's your fault. you broke her heart, set her back and you're accountable. RAH. thank you so much for taking away the ideals, the beliefs that i once held.

ANYWAY, Jay's album is coming out finally! WOHOOOO! UBER HAPPIFYING. i hope this jay's album would cheer me on, like every other of his albums. i know it will (: Jay is always love.

the benefit of being a friend of a Jay's fan is that you'll get to preview the lyrics for the first song, dao xiang (:

jay wants us to be strong, wants us to not give up. going back to simplicty, counting our blessings, being kampungish. go think about the lyrics. it touched me. serious. :D I LOVE YOU JAY!

pardon the outburst. but its jay. you should have known. (: jiayou jiayou jay! lets jiayou! WOHOO! the same warm feeling of joy hearing him again, albums later. cant wait (: instant mood lifter!

mooncakes ( :

staying at home the entire weekend is very satisfying, except that i slept too much. reading about sleep for psych does make me want to sleep ehh. QUIZ!

mooncakes feast! (sugar overload!)

i returned to the running route where i first started my run years ago. and the feeling it gives is as relieving as ever! i need to fall in love with running again and regularly so. :D fortytwo in dec!

met tutucians on friday night to celebrate yuexin's and chinny's birthday at my fave buddy hoagies cafe!!! HAPPY twentieth YUEXIN AND CHINNY and PHUA! havent had so much laughter with them for so long, despite having only ten of us. we cooked tangyuan, had mooncakes and carried lanterns to deliver phua's card at his letterbox (led by the katib head jh!). super chinese kampongish us (: i dont know why, but my tutucians can always make me this happy.

HAPPY twentieth diana! (: received my first internet call from her! wheee!

BUT this coming week is the first time this sem that i think i mightn't survive the week at all. jiayou lu! if i do, it'll be recess week!

someone someday somehow

i suddenly miss cambodia's char mee.

someone remind me to study hard.
someone remind me to be kinder!
someone remind me NOT to slack.
someone dragg me out to run!
someone get me to start training for stanchart.
someone make me happier.

why do i need to depend on someone. argh. jiayou lu!

忘了我从什麼时候

i dont like how things affect me. i cant seem to not care. whyy. tell me why.

received msges from some of the students. really sweet of them. i hadnt gotten down to settling the photos. my head gets heavy, one part of my mind tells me to move on, the other easily gets stirred by all sort of thoughts. dont leave me high. i cant take it.

ran, finally.
ichiban with thebestestfriend on friday! (:
postcard from norway that made my entire week!
love this duet by ahxin- zou huo ru mo!
quizzes are coming :S
dilemma. i hate making decisions.

i think all i need is sleep. i'll be happier. or a superhero.
lu, jiayou!

random impulse to put this pic up.
the people who slogged through econs with me (:

till i become someone better

returning, going back. it keeps playing, in my mind.

stop living in the past,
quit thinking about it.
i hate flashbacks.

so difficult, really.
veryveryvery difficult.

the mind brings me back to those pretty places. my thoughts travels faster than the speed of light i think :X i hate it. i need to stop thinking. i'm gg to the aiport to fetch piyo later! i hate airports, cos when i'm there, i feel like travelling, and leaving everything here. (i love singapore but i like travelling. its quite a contradiction ay.)

I WANT TO GO OVERSEAS IN DEC.

school is draining and zooming past fast!
scary. its week four. i have no clue about money/banking/financial markets, whats truly psy or how i am going to conquer EEritating econometrics. i feel antisocial, i hadnt made any frens in psy! ):

it just me, really.
stay positive, you need to get through this.
without the needless thoughts.
concentrate lu.
love u!

who i am makes a difference.

i received an email from shiqi, and it seems so apt for what i felt today. who i am makes a difference. the camonions did our post trip ocip with blue cross today and i really did enjoyed it, throughout the walk there was so much going through my mind. i dont know if i made a difference to my buddy beneficiary, but at least i know i cared for someone other than my selfish self today.and it feels good.

i really need some time with my diary soon, i fear that i may explode soon. dont think, lu. dont think. but i cant seem to find the time to write it properly.

and i loveeeeeeee walking in the rain (: feels so good, instantly uplifting moods. such a perfect day. such perfect company. i would love to do it again.

i'm so self indulgent. argh.

I MUST GET STARTED on my readings. i'm so distracted recently. in fact, ever since sem started.

piyo is going hkg tmr ): BOO.

we finally caught a movie as a family tgt! :D ytd for money no enough2. (: i thought the movie was quite sad, cos it was about this poor lady whose sons were quite unfillial. so much of my worries surfaced. i would never want them to come true.i hope to cherish all those around me more. but i never seem to. RAH. why can i have a super memory?

bad

i'm really trying to be a better person. i'm trying, but i have yet to succeed.
its worrying how fast i'm forgetting the lessons learnt, and my resolutions. i'm trying to be nicer to people, trying to be kinder, trying not to complain, trying to apply the kindness i've seen there, to my life. but i cant seem to do it. argh.

but while i try, let me indulge in my own world.

-these few days have gone past too fast and too draining, i need my weekends to catch a breather. reaching home at 12 midnight is wanting too much of an old woman like me.
-i met cam'on ytd at halleight for steamboat. three words: too much food.
-ITS FRIDAY, tmr.
-i need a run.
-i heard news some days back that may mean i cant go back to my shootingstarsaplenty. ):
-i need to be happy (:

its so egocentric, i know. its also something i'm trying to improve on, but failed.

jiayou lu, at least you're doing something you like.
or so i hope. (:

readings readings readings. time to do your readings and tutorials.

olympics

Beijing 2008 Olympic Cupcake
Originally uploaded by clevercupcakes.

i just watched a rather significant match that marks the local sports history-the much talked about olympics table tennis gold medal match 08 (:

i guess i still do feel rather sad that we wasnt able to pull a surprise victory against the hosts. :X but i do feel eeriely proud, to see Singapore's flag flying during the medal ceremony. (: i would be looking forward to the next time we come close to another opportunity at an olympic medal. even though its frustrating watching singapore lose the gold medal match, you can always count on me to camp in front of the tv again.

and i would be even happier should it come from a singapore born-and-bred athlete. i await.

phelps is a fish! (: eight gold medals with seven world records. he is AMAZING.

so now you know what i have been doing all weekend. more 830am days await! jiayou lu! stay strong, even if you are on the verge of faltering (:

flying away

both jo and diana is away for exchange now ): in the land of danish cookies and pizza respectively. so is porkchop (which i hope is safe in europe although diana says they love to eat pork there). its so exciting! i feel so excited for them! although both refuses to reveal any flight details for me to go and get a chance to eat popeyes at changiairport. :X

this sem is surely picking up speed. i hope i dont lose myself amidst all the busyness. i tend to, i know. but i dont just want to be one of those rushing along in hurried footsteps. its scary how fast we can leave behind the slow, peaceful pace of july. i dont want to- its my refusal to grow up.

i just need to stay sane (and happy). one sem at a time. jiayou lu, tutorials and readings are piling up!

and i always reach school half a hour early. :S RAHH. but its good to be early (:

homebody

singapore flag
Originally uploaded by fairycakes

happy national day (: (this pic is from an random flickrer)

i may not truly understand what it means to be singaporean, but i always feel proud when i watch the ndp parade, with all the contingents, marches and performers. i would sing loudly all the national day songs, including the national anthem. yes its weird doing that to the tv, but i do. i guess we're still buliding our identity at this stage, but perhaps, subconciously, we already have one.

i dont think i would ever think of migrating permanently to another country, because even though i may complain alot about this tiny island, its where home is.

but other beliefs are more easily shaken. all the breakups thats happening to the people i love these few weeks, is blurring the concept we call- love. maybe its just july, but maybe its me. i dont know what to say, i dont know how to help. which is why i try not to think about them, lest they diminish whatever little faith i have left in it. but you really cant control your brain sometimes.

family and friends, gogogo! (:

i love watching the olympics! esp the cute gymnast guys this afternoon (: WOHOO! yay

stretches into the horizon

cambodia (127)
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

argh. i look back at my cambodia photos to cheer myself up. how sad ): to think i was looking fwd to this sem! BLAH. things will get better lu, jiayou!

a thought came to me while i was on my way home on this streetlights-lit night;

i would marry whoever can plan/settle my timetables for me!

and no, its not cos im desperate to get married off. its just cos stars is being irritating. i should go get some sleep heh. if i get the mods i want, i promise i would study very hard! if i dont, i MUST study even harder eh! shucks, im naggy, i know.

school have started! omg.

i hate timetabling. sometimes i think im not as strong as i think i am.

i get frustrated over planning timetables every sem.
i fear taking the psy mods that i landed myself in.
none of my decisions this year seem to be good. :X
freak! super sad.

maybe i should just concentrate on econs. 50UEs is too much to clear, and too taunting so. starsplanner is too messy for my head. rahhh! frustrated, and i cant think straight when i'm frustrated. and there's so many things on my mind. BLAH.

and its only the second day of being a year 2. i wish for better tomorrows. i'm not ready to be a year2 major. but time just moved on ahead of me, doesnt it. ARGH quit emoing. i am incoherent.

on a happier note, i visited sarah's room today (: jiayou exroomie! gpa>4!

august the first.

aug1st:HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAGUAMATE AND JOY! (:

stayovered at weihui after baguamate's birthday celebs. haha. YAY! every year, just before school reopens, we hafta do the SURPRISE JAS OUTSIDE LEW'S HOUSE TOILETS thing. but i like! (:

some things, i might never understand. some things, i dont have to. other things, i dont want to. i live in my own world, too perfect, too idealistic, i think no one will fit the cinderella shoes i had imagined up. there's no need to, anyway. we've way too little time, there's no room to complicate. i'm in no position to advise, so i can only give my moral support, for whatever one chooses. GOGOGO!

i hope rainbows appear soon, for that will be when the storms around the people around me ceases. i always believed in rainbows. after rainbows, it'll be a bright fresh day ahead (: just like the sunrise.

i enjoy every tutucians meeting. i'm thankful for the people who never fail to keep the class going. perhaps its cos as i get older, we treasure the people around us more. perhaps its cos i'm getting more emo. whatever it is, i'm thankful, for the class. thankful for every of the 23 people (: perhaps they are right, they did change, and for the better. which makes the class every more dear to us.

for now, lu, prepare to study ay! its a packed last-day-of-holidays tmr. AHHH! three meetups. but its with the people i love most (: YAY.

i cant believe school is starting soon! OMGOMGOMG. and i panic.

i feel like a really lousy sis
really really lousy.

so many mind bogging issues, i dont have very good sleep these nights.
when school reopens, what would be worse? ahhhh! help.

im sorry piyo! love u!

it have been so long since i was literally glued to the pictures on Saturday reports.

I would like to recommend everyone to take a look at the Saturday special report section today on Singapore Beijing Olympics representatives. the photos, alone, are stunning. (: and i liked the way the report was written. go see for yourself.

or maybe its just me and my obsession with olympics.

cambodia (53)

cambodia (53)
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

i suddenly miss cambodia ALOT, after today.

the genuine, sincere people who brings about your smiles naturally. no need for pretence, no need to be who you arent. no need to fit in, no tiring acts. such an irony, really. that in a land when you cant even converse properly in each other's language, you feel most at ease. in a place when everyone fully understands you, you dont fit in at all.

i'm always such a misfit, i never understood why. i miss cambodia, (in my opinion) the land of smiles.

i dont quite fathom what happen, or how things got to this stage. but i suppose we'll see the light one day. one day the skies will clear, the grey will go.

anyway school is starting! its time to start packing up my tables and regulating my sleep patterns. THREE 830am days! HOHO. jiayou lu!

eleven cambodia days

cambodia (136)
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

i guess i'm still trying to cope with the demands of this high tech civilisation i'm thrown back into. granted, this is where i grew up, its easy to switch back. but i'm beginning to wonder about a retirement, or even a mid-career switch, to the wilderness, enjoying the beauty of nature and feeling fully every pace.

i guess i'm a little tired of such fast paced worlds, where i'm always lagging behind, suffocating and trying to catch up with everyone else.

i'm dramatising alot, i know. but the teachers at bblc showed that it is possible to abandon the luxurious life in singapore, for a simple but contented one in the rurals. it can be cambodia, it can be nan. either way, i know i would like it as much.

i guess i'm fortunate my family didnt (or rather chose not to) raise any objections to me going for non-touristy trips overseas like they do. i know i made mum worried, but being the selfish daughter that i am, i always just go ahead with my heart. haha. i want to be back,and my mum have already voiced concerns (what with news of the cambodia-thai conflict). but i know when the time comes, nothing can stop me. only myself.

dream, so it may come true one day.

during one of our lessons there, we were talking about ambitions. it was so heartening to hear that they still dream big. doctors, teachers, managers etc. hope is one thing that keeps the human race going. it makes me gulity, for when they ask, i have no answer as to what i would like to be in the future.

its time to think, to dare, to dream.

i ran 10k for shaperun today and feel old with the aching thighs and knees. ): ARGH

two shades darker!

i'm back (: and i really enjoyed this trip.

its a different experience. one that prompt myself to promise myself to return, as long as i have the means to. one that showed me the simple but happy side of mankind. one that told me of the friendliness of Cambodians.

thank you cam'on and bblc. i miss u already.

eleven days

i'm going away for 11days, so you can be sure this blog would enjoy some peace, finally void of my complaints.

work ended yesterday.thanks to my dear friends for the kfc treat (: HAPPY WORKING! two to three more weeks, depending on who you are! haha. everything was in a rush. i only decided that yesterday should be my last day, yesterday. HAHA. i guess its always the case of already knowing the answer is in your heart, but you dont realise it til the very end.

i guess part of me regretted taking this internship cos its really slack. its the lack of job satisfaction, rather than job dissatisfaction (and so public admin is very right. the motivation hygiene theory!). but i'm thankful that i've gained insights, and friends. its interesting, the change in perspective, the different role you don now. but yay im finally closer to returning back to a student's POV. the less stressful and more forgivable role.

packing is a BIG project! most things are done, though some things are not. im such a mess, havent got any time recently to prepare myself for this trip. psychologically, i guess i should be more prepared than when i was in nanofive. plus its a shorter trip than nan's. jiayou lu! its gonna be a rush for us there too, with mornings spent road buliding and afternoons spent teaching. but i guess, it would be an experience. hopefully a memorable and good one!

at the very end, i guess, i'm just trying to help, in the little ways that i can. and hopefully, NAN in the next holiday, yes?

alright, don't miss me. i'll be back before you know it (:

the double life of lu (and double left hands and right feets)

i feel like i've been leading a double life recently.
school by day, cambodia preps by night.

i can finally say im drained, im tired, im dying. i cant go on much furhter, really. thank goodness the end is near, or rather the start is. the team is fraught with bad news these two weeks. i pray that all of us remaining stay safe. wanqi shimin jinchao berenice stay happy and healthy too. i promise to keep them in my mind while im there. and wanqi didnt believe that i meant it when i said, i will go with her again. when i say it, i will. u've got to believe lu.

SOON, double life will converge to one. (:
two left hands and two right feet. HAHA.

my mind is drained, clogged and gone. i should quit complaining. but i cant... so i try.

blue sky with pink streaks

MPS=marginal propensity to save=morning pleasant surprise (:

i'm so stoned every morning, its impossible to wake up early and be hyper for school. really, i dont know how the tecahers do it.

jinchao got hospitalised. god bless! hopefully all sixteen of us are able to go! one and a half weeks more! so many things undone, i've taken to drawing up a TO DO list. i finally dragged myself to a run this evening.

the place where we all learn, grew, cry, laugh

stnicks (8)
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

the weird girl is not going to regret her choice.
the worrywart is not going to regret her choice.
with all indecisiveness, lu is not going to regret her choice.

or rather, i am determined to make this choice right, for once. such a heavy heart suddenly. and these few weeks, i feel like i'm really living the consequences of my decisions. and not necessarily as positively as i would like to. but jiayou lu, just try.

stnicks trip today with tanahbao kez and crys was a REALLY SUNNY affair! (the sun was v hot) yays. more photos, i hope. before our memories fade under the cranes and demolishing machines, attempting to erase this part of us. but they dont understand that things like this never be erased, if we etched it down, and take the time to rmb it. the physical can go, but never one's memories. only problem is that my memory is failing me. frantic rush to rmb, but never quite getting there.

cambodia preps are packing my after work evenings next week= no tv!

jiayou lu.
shooting stars, shooting stars. look far.

courses, causes.

i love post selects CRANBERRY ALMOND CRUNCH cereal. it has this nice cranberry fragrance and im still munching on it when its 1230 midnight!

i falter after all,
to practicality
to my stubborness
to conformity
to the whole lot of mess in my life ):

thanks to everyone for their advice these few weeks. the worry wart has made a decision after all. i dont know why i turned out to be such an impractical, indecisive and boring person, who refuses to acceptreality. i'm weird, as i have always known. and i think too much into everything, sometimes.

i need a holiday, thats not coming unless the funds are. we need money, fundraising! its times like this when i wished money fell from the sky. but nonetheless, it seems like a busy afterwork week next week. TWOWEEKS to cambodia! LOVE (:

TAN ah bao is going to breathe in singapore air in 7 hours time! YAY (: i havent seen her for a year. ohgosh,i miss her.

TGIF

i'm addicted to what they call, food porn. its just this addiction to looking at pretty foodblogs on my weekends, looking for exciting new recipes to try. you cant blame me, i'm only trying to find the perfect cutout cookies recipe to bake tmr for my sis's birthday on tues :P

its time i made my decision. i'm sucha worry wart i hate myself. cant academic decisions be decided for us?

anyway new template, cos i was toggling with blogger's new layout thing yesterday afternoon. i love my weekends, doing things that i enjoy, staying at home, jogging. (:

how egocentric blogs are. its always i, me, myself, saya, 我.

i enjoy jogging. but before i manage a jog, i always have to drag myself out of the house. its the inertia, that once overcame, i would get to breathe in the (quite polluted) evening breeze. my knees are fine now, or so i hope. i'll go gentle on them!

8 references to self in that para alone.

its the plan-your-modules-or-or-get-prepared-to-die-in-the-next-semester period again! i'm glad that econs still excites me (: cant explain why/what, but its just this surge of euphoria when you look at whats in stall next sem. ying and i must be the craziest people who cant wait for school to start. 2 more months (: but really, i'm very grateful for always being able to make my choice (and perhaps thus, have no other way out but to accept the consequences of my decisions). good or bad, eg econs or internship, i'm perhaps glad or resigned to a certain extent.

i've been thinking about the major/minor thing. it just struck me how unplanned my life is. i don't plan ahead to take whatever minor/second major. and thus i worry and procrastinate again now. i take modules as i like it, with no considerations if it will boost/diminish my choices next time. A or B. econs or econs/2nd major or econs/minor. AHHH.

i know a decision has been made subconciously. its just when i can comprehend and verbalise it.

its time i go back into photography! we were talking about blogging today in the office and i dont think i fall into the category of blogging-in-perfect-english. never will be. so might as well let the pictures do the talking! (:

;and we wonder why

There were many times during the ascent when we wondered why we were here.
...
And sometimes, I think it's not entirely the view up there that we clamber for. It could be the feeling of conquering yourself that we are hooked on. When we were standing on one peak, we looked across to another higher peak and told ourselves, the next time we shall scale that one.

;from one of my blog addictions.

it holds true for many things. i lose the faith, i wonder why i'm trying so hard, why i'm putting myself through all the trouble to do things that might have lost its significance momentarily. why put my body through the fortytwo km when i could already pre empt the aches and the damage to my knees? why spend much of my holidays working to fund overseas service trips? why take on so many when i know i cant handle? why why why.

i guess sometimes its to search for this dream, this secretly stashed away dream that maybe, you can make a difference, that you ARE the dfference, that impossible is nothing: if only you try. just to prove to no one, but yourself. so go on, and dream. for dreams aint impossible. we just have got to strive towards it! (:

three things on my mind:
-marathons: i told myself that i will never attempt it again, but i know i will.
-Nan: cya december!
-school and modules: its both exciting and brain bogging. can't wait for the new sem to start (weird, but yes), yet i can't decide my modules!

i had a happy day out with fong! banana choc pizza doesnt taste as nice as before already. maybe memory made it better ? but yays to MORE food!

sometimes i find myself struggling to connect with people. it shouldnt be something so deliberate and difficult, but why am i facing such daunting situations?

its almost a daily struggle in my mind. whats with me? its not them, i know, its just me.

everyone wants to talk, but whos listening?
argh. i'm not emoing, i'm not.

maybe its just me, and my refusal to open up. i'm not them, i'm me.

how very me-myself-and-i.
i'm morphing into what i think of us. apathetic and shallow. i cant put into words, whats on my mind.

save me.

42KM finisher!

yay! i completed my first marathon this morning!
its really more mentally exhausting than anything else, with my last 4km in the rain and aching knees after the 10k mark. the struggle between walking and jogging was torturous.

the night view was breathtaking though! from the stretch of airport lights to the reflection at bedok reservior and the windy east coast park, it was an enjoyment. even though now im battling blisters, sore and aching knees,calfs, thighs, i'm just glad, i've accomplished another of my new year resolutions, way ahead of time.

-I want to stop asking people if they missed me.
-I want to devote my time to econs. Its my choice, I’ll do it right. (I will maintain my GPA above 4.0)
-I want to love my family and appreciate them more.
-I will complete a marathon this year! (I will run 2.4km under 11mins. )
-I must love my friends too.

i'm still working hard on the rest(3 more to go!) to bring down the convention of not meeting resolutions (:

thanks jieling and friends for the run. i'm a lousy friend, i pangsehed. i can give myself tons of excuses, but i know they dont suffice. thanks ROOMIE and jessica for coming down with the drinks and breakfast bars! <3 thanks to all those who rmbed my run today and wished me well! thanks to all those whom i've whined to regarding the taunting 42km. also much thanks to the many supporters along the way who cheered us on, at times when it was most difficult to keep going.

well perhaps now i realise, impossible is nothing, cos nothing is impossible. at least just for today.

ossie cecs diana is off to thailand and vietnam today! will miss them!!!
and i love my family (: they were waiting for me at home after my run! HAHA. i think i made mum worried. i said i would never attempt another marathon again to my sis, but took back my words again. the satisfaction is too tempting, i know i will go for it again despite everything. i know myself.

decisions

i should learn to stop making irrational, illogical decisions! much as i try, however hard i think through them, i always end up regretting them. whats new, anyway.

follow your heart. but stop letting it flutter at the slightest news.
be in control. stop allowing yourself to be affected by others.

jiayoujiayoujiayou!

i also want a life as exciting as diana's july08-jan09!

The running man

The running man
Originally uploaded by dzhini.

i know i will pay for my laziness these few months. but its this sunday, no amount of regretting now will suffice. so lu! just jiayou and hang on on sunday and you can make it! WHEEHEE! sprint, jog, run, walk. anything, to get that finishers tee (: YOU MUST.

no cramps, no aches, no stitches, no giving up.

8hours
42.195km
31st may
2359

jiayou!
they call it sundown, i say its:
SUNRISE, here i come (:

credits to http://flickr.com/photos/hannah-aviva/420720066/

watched the ajbball match today. too exhilarating for an aging old woman like me ): but i love it (: go aj go! winners, nonetheless

ideals

theories are mere theories, unless applied
ideals remain ideals, as always
how lovely they make teaching sound
but behind the joyful experiences of a teacher who shared,
how many more leave the system, disillusionised?

perhaps easy to just say the hows
but never quite so when doing

good teacher
what does it take to be
what entails
what effort goes into being one?

lots.

we'll just have to find out for ourselves, never quite the easy way
but memorable, i'm hopefully sure.
TUESDAY, dont come. OHH.
i'm so disbelieving, i dont quite believe myself either. go lu! (:

the asia rice cartel

i don't know why, but this rice cartel issue got me quite frustrated. as if prices of rice worldwide hadn't risen enough, a cartel will only result in higher prices when they try controlling quantity and setting higher prices for higher profits. rice, unlike oil, is a necessity for living. to me, modelling after OPEC is just wrong. oil(non consumption oil) and rice is different. one fuels people, the other fuels economic activities. rice, could very well be a matter of life and death. control should only to make rice affordable.

we'll just have to see how this cartel issue works out.

blueberry muffins

blueberry muffins
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

YAY my first muffin baking foray (: thanks to the recipe from http://thebakerwhocooks.blogspot.com/search/label/blueberry !

even though i've been complaining to eveyrone who tried the muffins about the price of blueberries (its S$6.90 per punnet), lu is happy to hear that its yumm (: WHEE! although the muffin isnt at all sweet except the topping (could be good or bad) . its funn and the recipe is quite hassel free, i like!

plus i love the smell of cinnamon while the muffins are baking! i want a bread machine!!!

shall bake more often! (: (when i can get my lazy bones to start)

runnnnn away!

-i love jogging new routes! esp on days when my body feels okay for jogs! YAY. no aches in knees, no stitches on the sides, no uncomfy foot. sembawang isnt so far from yishun after all!
-i love the sweaty feeling (eek, i know) after jogs in the evening wind. even though the air isnt as fresh as i would like it to be,it felt great all the same! (:
-i hope i always rmb the feeling of jogs. and will always find the time to jog.
-i think this is my 158953979th post on jogs and how happy they make me. but still, i must rmb they make me happy :D jogs, not runs okay! i'm not some psycho runner, contrary to popular beliefs.
-time to get my lazy bones going. 42.195km in a month's time.long dist trg!
-im taking up the teaching internship. hurr, the need to shop for proper formal wear! ARGH.

there, i'm ranting all over again. ):

-definitely,maybe was a good movie! had great company with the econs girls at themindcafe too.
- i was so angered at what someone told me someone apparently said. i dun think anyone can identify with me with as much anger. ARGH. such a loser. i hate knowing. its such a lousy feeling.
-my roomie is finally HAPPY and can stop instilling guilt in me for moving out(: YIPPES

my posts are so wordy. :/

in the last few minutes, i regret

exams are over. its this wave of unease and relief thats overcoming me all together. lost and a lil emotional this moment. argh i dun wan to emo.

its prolly the last few minutes to go before i leave for wsc, that i'm in this room, 72-3-1498 for this semester year. an entire year, two semesters here. i do feel a little lost for leaving. the next time i'm back, i would prolly be packing everything away alr. argh my heart cant handle this major feeling of lost. heeelpppp.

whatever it is, i did enjoy my time here, despite many times of feeling depressed and homesick. its a lovely block to stay in! seventy two! nice neighbours that i'm always apologetic to for disturbing and helping to keep the laundry. proximity to school, running around campus at midnight, complaining about mosquitos and having a jungle right outside the window. its a scenic, natureish place. i have learnt to love, and will now learn to miss.

i dont quite know what to do now. just let me take in the last few minutes here. i hope my brain stop thinking. the weather's perfect now. the afterrain. (:

THANK YOU so much, roomie THAM. you dno how thankful i feel right now.

i hope i'd wake up tmr and be told that what you said were untruths.
much as i know it is. i'm in denial. wished i hadnt knew. knowing is such a terrible feeling.

revelations

revelations can just kill me.

its been bogging my mind since evening and i cant get myself to concentrate ): it came at a bad time, but i'm glad its was confided. it really does take courage to. which is why i was grateful it was me that was told. much as i know i couldnt take things like this. ARGH whatever, just concentrate for this 24 hours more okay! (: after that i can THINK for all i want. but i cant stop my mind. boohooohoo.

gosh. i need a breather.
and i need a confidant too ): ONE MORE TO GO! JIAYOU LU, U CAN DO THIS.

on a MUCH happier note, i'm meeting JOY tmr i think (:
yohooo! econs major come save your (lousier) singapore counterpart

jiayou!

DSC00980
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

these are my study buddies. more specifically say HI to mei's xiao c on the left (: and my nameless eeyore on the right.

omg so brainless. WAHAHA

i've been trying hard at stats. KEYWORD: TRY
JIAYOU LU (: u can make it through! last stretch!

and btw, SORRY to the roomie for always being away. :X

and we were talking abt r/s the other day and somehow, some people are always looking for a right one. some others wait for the perfect one. depends on how you see it i guess. supposedly, i assume at least, you would know when it is THE one. and to even think of marriage quite confirms it i think!

alright, back to stats

i ought to be studying.

but i sneaked in just to remind myself

i feel loved today!
raisin bread! (: pods! FOOD makes lu happy.
but im growing fat but not becoming happier :S

fed mosquitos, fat mosquitos. I HATE THEM ):

thurs: i met jo :D
thurs: felt like a happy camping night in the room. haha. i dont know why i get the feeling.

i really
have no time
havent started on my econs mods
am panicking
needs to jiayou
dont want to fail my exams

hurrhurr.
i like studying but i hate exams.
is this considered a study-test dichotomy?

omg. publicadmin.

boohoo, i know i complain and whine way too much.

on people,
i like the way people's face light up when i ask them about their major. perhaps its something we all should learn from. enthusiaism in what you're doing. though oftentimes we lose sight and faith, we get deluded and eroded of interest by the mundane.

learning should be exciting!

on lecturers,
i like the way the lecturer talks about the subject. such passion and knowedge. he willingly engages in a conversation even after class.

if only all lecturers were like this.

i saw a pair of sunspots after astro class today. :D

hon-do-ni?

i feel stress in waves of panic. when i get stressed, i panic. and thats rather bad news because the human heart cant possibly withstand so much short, but strong waves of panic too often.

and i never learn ):

the lack of sleep coupled with endless deadlines to meet in the week is choking. sometimes i wish i could just stop here, cry and wait for everything to be over. but i cant. because they'll only escalate bigger. because i have expectations to meet. because it wouldnt end just be tiding through this period.

Exams end in less than a month's time, which means it starts in even lesser time but i havent touched a single revision at all. tell me how dead i am.

procrastination. i never seem to learn from hindsight. i should start concentrating on econs+astro+pulicadmin. SHOULD. and HAVE TO. no distractions nor giving up, lu. jiayou (:

cute k

the topic is a pun.
today (okay, 20th the thursday) may just go down my calendar as one of the worst day this sem. (i hope its already the worst, else i cant imagine what can be worse) i feel so screwed since 9am in the morning, right till 9pm at night

HW presentation is a happy affair only cos of my really nice group-huiyi kenyee jek. i screwed up my part can ): HURR and i shall stop whining aft harping on it for one whole day now. and then the wsc workshop. was OKAY, but i still feel BLAH.

i think i must have looked stressed cos 2 people commented within 5 hours of each other that i look stressed. plenty of reason to, anyway. three more reports and 1 presentation to go. GOSH.

JIAYOU lu (:

but thanks to my roomie for listening to my speech!

for once, a happy monday (:

presentations are worrying. SPEAK SPEAK SPEAK OUT

saturday nyny for qinfang with the exco was a happy affair!

BUT

its on days like this when you feel that, yay:

the pretence is finally off,
the mask no longer exists.
i feel burdens lifted,
questions answered.
am so light, i think i can fly. (metaphorically only though :S)

coupled with a warm sunny day with which i have a love-hate relationship with.
may it continue to be happy, depression-less days ahead!

the truth may be hard to tell, but once told, its liberation, ainit?
and i will always believe in the truth.
and wait for the day, when someone would tell me truths.
that lovely grin :D

now the panic sets in, because happiness runs out. gosh.

When I no longer know what I am doing,
I run, (literally and otherwise).

When I cant emerge from the struggles,
I escape.

When I know I cant take the mental torture further,
I withdraw.

such a loser. omg.
this doesnt count as poetry, does it? haha. better luck next time.

i think i finally found someone as weird as i am

haha

last week had been bad. but i can predict the weeks to come would be worse. sometimes i'm really thankful to my econs mates and friends, who always make me feel like the world cant be THAT bad. well, at least school's not exactly hate-able. but my life is so messed up this semester. i need to sleep earlier. sis said that i look really tired. in fact i've jus spent the entire weekend catching up on my sleep. and its not enough . :X

there's still many many proj meetings lined up this week. comm proj later tonight, wsc workshop on monday, public finance proj on tues. and i hadnt done all the reports i'm suposed to! ): at least most projs are moving on fine. and i think im s/u ing publicadmin :S

im tired, jus get me out of here. i shld stop complaining !

i love home (: i cant wait for this sem to end. i need my happy happy life back (: and there's the trips to look forward to! yay!

thailand! cambodia! wait for me! (:

lu! jiayou!

argh. you know your brain have degenerated at the time when you're approaching the big TWO when you spent an entire day, no less, trying to type out a report and managing only 285 words after some 10 hours.

okay, minus the distractions that took up 70% of the time. but its still, slow. wasted the entire week and as always, its too late to regret. RAHH. when will i ever learn?

on a side note, i saw these 3 children and their mom happily playing scissors paper stone (except its some ma-ple story version) on the bus. we dont need much to be happy really. no need for psps and nitendos. just plain old school games. (:

i blog way too much nowadays.

of our orange crumpler and the leap year

our orange crumpler
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

sweet! such a coincidence that all three of us got the same orange crumpler without even knowing until today. if we were to walk tgt one day, i'm sure mine is the blackest we'll look like AA schoolgirls. OMG!

but really really sweet.such a surprise (: good taste i'd say. a happy happy leap year's 29th feb. haha

okay, back to projs researching.

and i met some tutucians yx jh jm for breakfast today! YAY
and and i hope they catch the JI mas selamat soon!

i think the older we get, the worse off we are. worries increases exponentially, while happyfactors grow at snail speed (approaching zero as years approaches infinity).

its an overall deficit
i aint making any sense i know.
i love it when im home. slackslackslack :X

but assignments beckons. i need to get starting! half the week's gone ! HELP.

days in black and white

so many times i'm tempted to go back into photgraphy.

esp when i saw val's pho215 contact sheets. i love the monochrome of things (: she have an eye for artistic expression, i must say!

maybe one day i would return to the black and white film. i hope i do. and i hope my pockets allow me to.

i need to use my recess week properly.

CNY08

yu sheng
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

cn08 (all fifteen days) have ended.

here's my happiest yusheng photo after all these years. (albeit it being rather highly edited! haha)

lucks to sly later for her comp!

my first astro experience

yesterday, i saw saturn for the first time in my 19years, complete with the rings that circles it. omg. and the craters on the moon. the telescopes are so amazing!

say byebye to those pictures on ppt! WOHOOO! (: i LOVE stargazing!its such a mysterious world out there.

for once, astro IS interesting. said with complete honesty. omg, i feel like joining the astro club. HAHA

but now, its YAY to recess week! i need a breather. (though i know one week will never suffice) jiayou luuu!

ende.

DSC06067
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

track and road relay finally have ended. it was a good experience-my first truly competitive running stint.but i know i cant do competitive. i dont have the mentality to last.

the feeling of seeing the fast runners do their run is exhilarating! it always give me a false hope,but even with training, it never seems quite the case.

i will finally be running easy (: its really something i miss. something close to me cos that's where i started running and that shall be where i continue so. its when i'll start on the long road to completing a maranthon. i think.

but for now, studies.

by the way the picture is of two really cute boys with great smiles at cereal's hse on cny chu san (: its my first time enjoying takiing humans.

why take the joy out of running when you can spare your mental torment by going at a comfy speed?

but for some, speed and competition is all there is to running.

i'm sorry, i beg to differ.
i cant do it.

work's piling. i need a restart, after the timer have started its count. i need to stay away from the detractor. what's wrong with rushing tutorials; its within my responsibility even if you didnt think its yours.

jiayou lu. HAPPY CNY (:

t3

every trip to the airport, brings me closer to my wish to go on an overseas trip.

my determination strengthens- i hope one day soon, its finally enough.

peiyueng! wish you well (:

UPDATE!

i'm back (: woah i hadnt blogged in ages and its almost the end of january already.

i
-am already struggling, three weeks into the new sem.
-hadnt ran in ages (other than the jog yesterday with my sis)
-havent quite done my cny shopping
-have ALREADY started on the annual bak kwas feast! (:
-need to spring clean this weekend when i get home!
-slept alot when i'm home.

jiayou lu (: u can do it!

omgomgomg! school's starting tmr officially (although mine technically starts only on tues) and im freaking out ): bah. cos i know when it starts, its gna be a mad rush til the end again.

jiayou lu. jiayou