19 on 29

i’ve been really fortunate. despite all that i’ve done (or rather not done). many times i know that i aint worthy of such good friends and family because i don’t even treat any of them half as well. thank you for making my days, not only today. for every other day that you’ve been in my life.

i was battling a headache and fatigue and the lack of sleep ytd right after malay. what a way to end it. but yay! all’s over. (if yours havent) don’t worry, it will come soon! living ytd for the 17 hours before 5pm came, was scary. its like living in solidarity in hall. i dont think i spoke more than 5 lines to people prior to exams. but sure, i did speak alot (but only to myself). sometimes i think maybe i'm on the brink of madness. but other times i reassure myself that people alr thinks im mad so it dont matter. haha.

thankyou BESTEST fren, roomie wj ele pj yx jh for ytd. and my nicest sisters.and the surge of msges coming in this morning. oli yeetheng cecs pan fong yuexin siyu ele laowu chinny xiaobai becca hongli lew su redmoon heng siaoer meijie jo baguamate esther zhimin peijia ossie kaiwei mich hil aiping yongchuen mstan cereal ying katrine kez shimin wongjia val buddy iggie diana hinho huiping boss choonyuan meiyee sherl sherm. THANKYOU

a year older, but aint much wiser / happier / sadder. how to, when you're on the brink of entering the big 2. its scary, paths ahead. wait up Time, i've not yet thought of the future. dont transport me so far ahead, could you?

perhaps its some wakeup call. but i know, in no time, when the work gets to me, i'll forget about this again. til the next alert comes by, its already too late.

but as a happy & rare post goes, this post comes with PHOTOS. note the plural! i dont normally post so many photos per posts! so u're in for a treat.

MESSY table


only she can make things so happy


minli's bday!

early morning rants

im only dropping by here to blog the fact that i've woken up the earliest today in months, on this last official day of my sem. wohoo!

its only 615am and i've

bangun tidur den sudah berus gigi. saya akan belajar sekarang!
(woke up from sleep and brushed teeth. i will study now!)

you know you didnt choose the wrong course when you feel a rush of adrenline reading through the descriptions of the modules you can take next semester and in the sems to come as a major. it brings a smile you cant explain.

and that is despite just coming back from a deadly core paper.

im glad it still excites me so.

one last paper! (: jiayou lu!

HOME

feels so good to be home after a week-long battle with my notes. i could feel my body breaking apart. aching shoulders, and just a really drained mind. i complain way too much, i know.

in a week's time, everything is gna be fine. even if anxieties will hit, even if papers prove to be discouraging, there's always this three people i can count on. i'll be home more often i hope!

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

and joy made my week so much the better.

what do they say?

shadows, and what do they say?
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

and i panic. i'm trying to keep every breathe light, its so stiffening. its tomorrow. i cant breathe ): it always happen.

i've drank two cups of milktea today. at least it feels better than coffee. the night was so peaceful, waking up to the music in the background. (:

wish me luck! jiayou lu! u can do it! two weeks (:

in between shades of rainbow, is there light?

micro notes + text > eeyore
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

trying times, i hope i get through.

everything suddenly becomes nothing. there's plenty i need to think through. and this is bad timing.

jiayou!

rainbow

rainbow
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

I believe in coincidences, sometimes. Last Friday, on my way home in the feeder bus, I saw a RAINBOW! The very same week that jay released the album, ‘on the run’ which have a track called CAI HONG! (: it really made my day (in fact, my week) cos for the whole week I was so drained, much on the verge of falling ill.

Miracles do happen to me after all.

in my excitement, i also told my mum to look out for the rainbow. though she couldnt see it from our house, she commented that the skies were very nice. that we didnt notice it so all this while. true, i think all of us have been too busy studying, working, earning our keep that we often neglect life's beautiful creations. i shall, learn to appreciate these things even among textbooks and notes. that, is my hope.

But I know miracles don’t happen during exams. to do well, lu, pls mugg hard! Last week! You know you want to do well! (: this week is all you need, and got, to last thr!

The other day while jogging, I thought of choices, and how I had a choice then- to choose what I wanted to do. That, already makes me more fortunate than many others, those who had no choice, and those who had to choose something they didn’t want. Since I have made THE choice, JIAYOU I shall. (: it’s been a wonderful journey thus far, i learnt more things than i knew, i found it more interesting, and I can only continue making it more so by mugging hard this last week, this last stretch this sem!

jiayou! (:

many happiness awaits after exams <3

reminder

reminder
Originally uploaded by lucia!.

when you know that you're losing things that you've only just learnt to cherish, you panic and start grabbing whatever you could save of it. its like when you're drowning, you struggle, trying to hold onto something, anything that can keep you afloat.

i found myself struggling again. the same feeling that i felt a yr ago, in the midst of A's. i was in the library today and the girls beside me were mugging for Binomial, Stats and the like. A's. i havent been to a real exam in such a long time, i am begining to feel the struggle, the panic, the stress again. and i hope i succeed this time, as with my blessed previous times.

thank you for keeping me sane, you: the person i dedicated this picture to, last yr. you're on my mind again, for this exam as with o's and a's. and will be, for the four yrs to come i think. i never did thank you explictly for this, but you know i can never open up myself enough to do so.

thank you for keeping me afloat in the bigg vast sea of yesteryear, and also the constant support in the new terrain this year. i'm just glad you're never far. but ive never been a good friend. have never, and might never be.

and so i know i will start talking to myself more often, again. foolscape pads, here comes. everything else, is now secondary.