love ya all

:D class gathering tdy.
was quite sad to hear that siqi left to study in canada.
gonna miss tt girl. :)and peng xiao left too. and my ex ex classmate clara.

but this was WOAH the nest class gatehring i've gone to.in the sense that the form tcher MRS SEAH was here, and the attendance was really WOAH too. 29 outa 41 is lyk 3quarters of the class!
siaoer rocks as the organiser lar. :D
and im gonna miss 4g. the bunch of cool dudes. hahas. :) somehow, we always rise up to the occasion tgt! and our class is so different, it makes it real cool to get us tgt, and it makes each of us so so so special. i love my class much as we're gonna be officially no longer classmates and get separated when the clock strikes 12tonite. hais. the leaving of friends ard you...

when to diana's hse to play sims2 but i dunno how to play :( so we eneded up playing chinese chess and watch double happiness and bball.

to all my fellow 4gracians: take care! as we all move on in our lifes, noe that i wun forget anyone of you! :D thanks for all the great times tgt!

to diana:thanks for always staying to study the os and prelims with me and for the sims2! :D haha. i'm e boring one.

to DA BACK ROW: ltg, sam, niq, char! we all have short forms. ahhas. thansk for all the great times talking tgt, crapping, listening um...during class and the discussions. :D u guys are the funkiest bunch to work with!

to suann and the np ppl: sorry for always bothering u in class abt np stuffs :)

to xian:i rmb ur bday!!!!!!!!!!!! 22 nov!

to nanny: hey nanny! jiayous! thanks for always waking me up!

to yingyi: thanks for all the wonderful sec3 times! and sharing the olympics mania with me ... LJW and LYF thingy. hhahas ;)

and just thanks to eveyone who entered my life on this last day. god bless! :D miss u!

yoyoyo!
arh. my mum+my sis's nagging me to buy a bag. but cant find any! boo!

oh, and may god bless the casualties and their families of the tsunami and earthquakes :)
hais, i just hope this will subsize soon... just hoping that everyone will be safe!

really sad to see the state if phuket, thailand, penang, indonesia, india, sri lanka and etc.


esp sri lanka...its like 100000ppl are dead i think. so many! what with the internal conflicts (i still rmb my ss! woah! ) . even the tamil tigers controlled area are seeking help alr.

and beautiful phuket. takes abt 3 to 6 mths to recover.

then again, its all earth's cycle?
just hoep things go well. :)

went out with jas! mans, my second post of the day
a obviously happier one.
hahas.
oh,
MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!

two more cards!peck and peifang!
i'm super old fashioned. i love receiving letters. :/
but snail mail wins over everythg. cos my internet is slow and unstable. so good ol' snail mail could possibliy be faster and warmer(to the <3). :)

merry christmas!

tho the msn dun let me sign in. baa!

:/

its christmas eve. i'm nt even excited abt christmas.
baa.
my msn cant work again. but it did yesterday!
talk abt a com with mulitple viruses.
oh well, just read that su is gg into nj.
my dream sch. arh. oh wells.
guess its a bad christmas for me this yr.
shant b thinking abt it anymore.

smthg good. i just applied for my singpass online.
oh well.off to watch mvp! fact is i'm afarid that i'll feel sad when the last episode shows again. and i manage to catch it.

ok, shall meet for more badminton. and kayaking on a lesser than likly possiblity.
haven run for ages. but ... its christmas! (tmr i mean)
hurr. i am revisting neopets. its still veyr much the same i guess. i just lik things unchanged

ohh. just realised ytd that holidays are lik REALLY ending. ENDING!
i dun wanna go back to school. nt now. its lik nthg in my new sch is exciting for me? to think i tried to convince myself its great 2 post down.
mans.
i'm nt rready to be in j1
i'm nt prepared to take 852 to school.

haiss

weeHee! went kayaking tdy (finally!!!)

ok, firstly cecs! sorry i cant meet u tdy! :D really really sorry! hmm. will try to meet u the next time u can! :)

oh, back to kayaking. ok, i was really angry with the pasir ris ppl! dun lik them at all! hmpf.

ok, gtta rush. just wanna thank all you guys who send me christmas cards! thansk. to
cecs! hey cheer up! :D though i noe u wun tell me who u're pissed with. haha
kezia doreen pamela my menteejasmine camille! :D merry christmas! :D

going out with jasmine tmr! :D hahas. haven meet for ages.

every boredom have a cure.

ok its me again. the bad habit of just coming up with random chim sounding erm...phrases ..for no reason. hahas

ok, my cure is to draft my new year resolutions! (yays -_-)
oh wells.
1. do the things that i like nd dont regret them (lik i'm now if you know what i mean)
2.be nice to everyone and go to THAT school with an open heart lar(come on lucia, you can meet lots of new ppl how exciting.! bleah )
3. oh wells. mental block. will come back one day!

my msna nd com is against me today! hmpf

stupid me

i feel lik the ultimate stupid person on earth.
shld have just chosen nj cos everyone nice IS there. and i wun be troubling myself over stupid stuffs lik this. argh! hais hais.
is it stupid to go appeal? /thinks*
dunno leas.

mans, the empty feeling coming back ALL over again. last time i felt it was after ccc.and now after i watched finish the MVP show and thinking abt how everyone will somehow have to get separated once again and how no one stays in our life forever .. the feeling is eerie! gettint this sense of LOST. just this empty feeling inside me.have the world becme one of mere emptinesS? couldnt emphasis more how scary things have presented themselves at me now. i mean...i hate changes. and i dont wanna leave. dont wanna miss a thing. dont wanna close my eyes and realise that evewryone ard me have moved on. and everything had changed. i dun wan to!

i'm sorta back! cos i'm in the library using the com lar. my hse com is. urh.. DOWN. very down i mean. cant load, and some window to some website keeps popping up.
i hate spyware and all.

aniw, hurr! was very happy to get bithiah's christmas card! yays yays. hahas! thank you!
oh and jasmine and siyu we must meet up one day!!! and cecs too! hahs.
went ikea teh other day and got this 3 tins. but i havent got a use for them! haha. and oh.. i packed my stuffs! now the table looks MUCH better!

ok, gtta go. :D the postin is out in 2 days! gah!

slacking at home!
hahas. but not exactly! i've been reading thriller books by robert goddard! its nt bad. nt as good as dan brown, but better than most! i've finished two of the books, days without number and dying to tell
really twist-y! lots of twist and really engagin! go to the mearest lib and grab one now!
i think i sound liek some? book reviewer? but nvtheless its a good read this hols for me!
hardly read, so this is a good time to!
changed my layout!!! wohoo! :D cool right? *gulity* ok, nt v cool. but who cares! :D
almost done with xmas cards! so i cna send them out soon! the've been on the agenda for so long!
yepp, and did i say mayday rock? their songs are reaLLLLL cool! as in really cool those kind. the rock kind! yepps.
off to read another thriller by josh smthg, i can rmb!

oh. random tots : luck dont last a lifetime

i noe , deep deep down, that someday, very soon... i'll miss st nicks.
i'll miss its everything.
i'll miss the canteen where i had eaten like more than 10kg of lunch and recess, where i had studied durng prelims
i'll miss the class of 2004, esp 4g.
i'll miss going ard the cohort every mroning and loking at pissed and irritated faces, asking ppl to button up.
i'll miss getting the sens eof satisfaction when ppl follows school rules
i'll miss the maths where there's only me and samantha there half the time.
i'll miss chinese remedial in the only 3.me eeling, sam.
i'll miss(or maybe i wun?) the thurs nights polishing boots, and calling up for attendance
i'll miss mrs seah's lesson, and chit chatting away with niq and ltg.
i'll miss the scoldings the back row gets from talking too much.
i'll miss the olympics times where we'll actively discuss on the games.
i'll miss the feeling of nervousness when NP time is reaching and news that yuhan ma;am is coming.
i'l miss the times we stayed back to do everything.
and most importantly, i'll miss the yio chu kang busstop, the route to school wishing i need not go to school. and i'll miss,
everyone out there.
how i hope things woulkd remain. but i noe. it wun stop for me.

SIYU! cant sign your gbk...but thanks k! gtta meet up someday!
cecs!!! wahahas, i wan his songs too! though i'm also liking mayday's one now!
yingyihahas, dun slack k! and dun worry. i;'m sure we'll be able to make it! :D

WOHOO! one carefree soul

hahas, went back to play a lil netball just now!!! :D fun fun! just tt my tamina have got lots to improve :P keke. saw how stressed kezia and xinhui was/// i felt so free. hahas. :D

hmm, but i sort of hurt my ankle a lil. heh. NVM! :D it was fun lar.

i just read cecs blog! hmpf, looks like she wants to fight for jay with me! hmpf! jay is mine! i'm so smithen by him! aww.

i'm going running! keep it up for the slacker, everybody. (ps:i think i lots my previous post :( )

heh heh! :D the exams are over. just haven been able to post anythg on my stupid blog :( yepps, now i'm free! but dun think i'm going grad. yepps. yepps.

hmm. wat else is there to talk abt? erm, wat i wan to do? ahhas. i still wan to work at fish and co for some stupid reason that the shirt thatthey wear is kinda COOL! :D heh. but doubt they will wan me...
and go a-kayaking. and go sleeping... watch jay chou and go crazy!!! heh heh. yepps.

how long have i not blogged? no v long, cos everytime i tried to blog, i cant post it. :p hehs. aniw, just wanna say

everyone jiayous!

though i still wan to b post prelim, itsalr pre os alr! hmm, cya

da ende. now it is yet another wait.

the wait,is for the results in ...a weeks time.
the wait is a slow but long one.
and i hope it'll turn out a happy one much as i'm not fully confident of it. sighss.
but aniw, :D rest for a few days and move on with more studying i hope. hopefully o's i'll b more prepared, much more! :D alright, and i love the DA ViNCI CODE.it rocks! :D great book!

com slowww

feeling so restless. why? cos my com's down with viruses! its so lag.
hais. not funny only ...those virus makers. :/ it takes so super long to load all the stuffs and i miss my task mgr! the virus took it awayy! it odesnt load. it just slowwwwsss the things down by at least a minute. but when i STOP the loading, its soi fast to stop.

tmr marks the beginning of another TERROR week

yes, the pun is intended. terror as in litearl terror and yes yes the theme of KOTC. :P lucks to everyone! :D jiayouss!

just hope i'll get good marks for lit. else, its fated. lit is not me. or at least it doesnt like me!

jiayous jiayous

:(

i'm a lil irritated. my com just cant log into jcnet! on such a beautiful saturday.and when i've just posted one post, i'm posting another one to waste time while i see whats wrong with my dera jcnet . irgh.and i'm wasting precious time online waiting for the TIMWEOUT sign for jcnet to go away. seriously, its wasting studyign time, but the most i'll do offline is lie on the sofa all day watching tv however uninteresting it is. hais. the results of being lazy? panicing when i finished the paper. serious, i think lits going too. cos we;ve just got back the lit pract apper and its only a just passed. wonder how i'm goanna pass it. :/

:D

one week down. a week more and two days to go :P
guess i'll go thru it even if i'm super unprepared yea? cos its like-__- no choice/

hehs. its 2 days down. many more to go. dont wanna count them! aww. and excuse me, but its only the second day, and i'm so so so tired. baa.

talk about dying at the end of prelims ;/
geog tdy was bad. cos i totally blurred. i didnt even explain for a nine marks qns. NINE FULL MARKS and waht i;m goanna get is HALF mark? its not even MARKS><< its a half mark,singulaR! :? hais.
die. but ...
die.


alright , on the better side, its only 4 papers that i;ve screwed. no more/ (not now that is_) pp tmr. (in case u dunno, its phy pract! ) talk abt having lots of alliteration! CRAP-

cant belive zhou chaun xiong 's album is more selling?!?!

can u guys believe? the best sellinhng male artiste is not jays YHM but zhou chuan xiong;s DUBBING? gosh. and sun ho is thebest selling female! :/
gosh. yhm is such a great album to think MORE people buy that cd?like i belive the results! hmpf.

but yeh hui mei got the best album production anyways. hmm. mush better thna being best seling. hmpff... am so disgusted! !! baa!!!!

awaiting the best regional artiste. hope its jay! :D

but the best selling thgs got on my nerves. hehs, and ltg's ec didnt win. mans.

i love hu yan bing! he's so cool! :D:D:D hahas. can rap on the spot.! he got best china somethng.! :D

but i still love jay!


2days! :/

hehe heh muggs. lazy pig

haahs. didnt go school tdy to study. :Pi'm a lazy pig slept until 10. cos i've been so so so tired! i'm seriously overcomed with fratigue! haahahs. but aniw. :/ i'm not even near completing studying. baa.

my com is :( slow

baa. my com is slow.
i went back sch for maths.
feel like giving up. :(
so tired.
brought chem mcq bk
my com hanged on me.
just feeling so parochial.

baa. hais. the tag thing doesnt work. dunno y. mayb i screwed up my coms' setting cos it just funny and it doesnt like me! :(
hais. so random . so its random tots!

so sad. i deleted the flooble thingy. hais.

thy world is too explicit, jay is right

highlight the above. cos you cant see the topic if u dun. mayb i'll change it someday. soon

but if u are those lazy souls:
thy world is too explicit, jay is right

dont u think so too? jay says that he hoped that thee world have not any war. while i mazed at jay's albums and great songs, i understand his meaning on a deeper level finally. it may seem quite sad that i truly only undertsand it now. only now, thy may ask. but thy know not how many more others knownot.

thou feeling a lil crazy? thy is. too much of lit. and too nostaglic art thy. mrs c would puke blood seeing this. :/

why war, fellow earthlings? dost thee knowst not the conseqences? and the people who died innocently.

to those who died, may you find peace.to those who caused death, may you find peace.


and to those who do not understand the meaning of life, find jay:



may the world be a more peaceful place. thou be blessed.

last day which doesnt feel like it at all

tdy's the last day of school/ much as it doesnt sound or feel liek it, it is the last day of official lessons. from this midnight onwards, we're off on our own studyign plans and mugging sessions. lots of chionging to finish studying for prelims and etc. :/ jiayous ppl!

4gracians jiayous! :D we can all do it , yea! hehs.

sqdmates jiayous too! and to everyone else in school! god bless and lets mug! hee!

crapping in class(abt olympics) is fun!!! :D

hehs/ was crapping in class tdy after recess.so teschnically we didnt have any lessons at all! :D the celebration was fun i would say! cos its thru all the sec 3s hard work. had passing down/handing over/stepping down yesterday! :D hehs. pamela! jiayous! :D i'm so proud of you! you;re an exco! wohoo! :D the food was nice, but the event was abrupt. but yes, no school for ,er... 2 days! :)yippes! goodie lucis shall go back for maths remedial! :)

hahas.no more test

hahas no more tests. i am grateful for it..but somehow i noe the slacker me wunn study without tests, but hopefully my mind will constantly remind me! :/

aniw, got back ppr! :D hoho. quite happy though its like still low when compared to the smarties (note the pun) in our school. but its still an improvement. at least i didnt get the dissapointment i got last term. :P but then again its good when i put it in my context but not when i put it into perspective (as ms lim says) and which is in the perspective of the enitre level i gues? heck! just try harder. :D hehs.

yingyi! :D five girl! *grins* still rmb the pic i showed you tdy? hahas. if u remain sad i shall show u forever :P hehs. :D

olympics2004.goodbye

its the closing ceremony of the olympics at 245am tmr. and that'll end the 16days of tension...

4yrs of waiting, 16days of tension,one day to end it all.

somehow i love this olympics. and the next one seems so far away/ 2008... wondeer where i'll be then. 2008? 4yrs? i dun even noe tmr... but hope i'll live to see it. hahas. sometimes, i think i really dun appreciate things enuff. hehs. i'll miss going to school in the morning and asking my friend if lijiawei or susilo got win not..and waiting by the tv for lijiawei's and susilo';s game only to watch the game end in defeat/

--- off to chinese.! (i hope)

markcahy :(

hahahs. been repeating this but.....just that i dun like mark chay animore...hahahs. still rmb the days during the sea games in sec 2 when i tot he was superly cute and shuai and cool cos he won some medals and stuff! but after the read the ST sports report on them the swimmers who represented sg and when none qualified and the crap excuses they gave, i gave up hope and admiration for him! hmpf. irritating. susilo is so much better and at least he;'s humble and nice! :D *grins * 2 weeks to pelims! i've gotta feel motivated!
-__-

hero-where one truly fights when he loses

hehs.she lost. but i believe she'll be back. i'm sadden onyl by the fact that we were SO close. and yet its SO far. of cos it;ll be hypocritical to tell jiawei not to be sad, that winning and losing is just a part of competitions. of cos, go on and cry out, jiawei! :) but make sure that you stand up yet again from the truma, face that failure, and improve ..and fight against it! its sad, its dissapointing but thats life? i'm kind of relentless and sick of fghting against it. mayb i've accepted that there are going to be failures a plently in my life cos i bring bad luck to myself. aww. :D but not u jiawei!!! you can do it! :D and u're my hero!

i'm feeling so sad now.dun ask me why.our player jiawei got defeated in the table tennis semis. and i so wanted her to win. serious! i so so so so so so wanted her to get into the gold medal match bcos then, we'll be guranteed of a medal this games. and its probably the best chance of a medal in 44yrs. 44yrs and we didnt get one. and i so so so wanted her to get the medal. its not her fault actually...she played so so so well the game was super tight. its mine, i bring bad luck to whoeve i support. serious. and its been proven again and again. not that i hadnt been warned of it. i just couldnt resistthe temptation of watching the match with our player having so much chance for a gold medal showdown. but... all hopes were dashed. why? ? ? we are now left with an emptied heart of hopes all gone. now its the bronze medal match...against a korean again(but this time its a south korean) i really wanted jiawei to win.so much so that i prayed thru the entire game. but. :`( i'm an unlucky girl. and i shall not watch the bronze playoff. cos i really want sg to have a medal this games. we were deprived of it for 44 yrs. and this is probably the best chance . i risked all my studying for the impt exams to support the olypmics palyers and i think i ended up giving them bad luck.
i'm keeping my fingers closed for tmr's match. i hope i'm not a jinx to the team singapore.

heh.i sorry susilo! mayb its me who watched your game with boonsak yesterday that gave u bad luck. i;m truly sorry,but i noe u rock!i guess u probably noe it by now. but hehs. :D yes, i noe u can do it! :D and u're quite shuai too! :)
ok, mayb there's somethg that i could learn from this olympics.that its not whether you win or lose...
winners are but, forgotten in a weeks' time.people who lose merely fades away faster than winners.
ok, i'm so melancholic tdy. mayb its cos all thos i support wholeheartedly are out... but here's cheers to all those who tried and all those who really put in their best! u all rock! serious. :D
prelims like in um 25 days time and i;m so dead. shall stick to my books for now1

heh.i sorry susilo! mayb its me who watched your game with boonsak yesterday that gave u bad luck. i;m truly sorry,but i noe u rock!i guess u probably noe it by now. but hehs. :D yes, i noe u can do it! :D and u're quite shuai too! :)

ok, mayb there's somethg that i could learn from this olympics.that its not whether you win or lose...

winners are but, forgotten in a weeks' time.
people who lose merely fades away faster than winners.


ok, i'm so melancholic tdy. mayb its cos all thos i support wholeheartedly are out... but here's cheers to all those who tried and all those who really put in their best! u all rock! serious. :D

prelims like in um 25 days time and i;m so dead. shall stick to my books for now1

hahas. i shall carry out my scheduled routine,
1 hr of internet time for every 2 days!
must study at least 2hrs a day!

:)and TV time cant be more than 2 hrs!

-perserve and i can do wonders. stare your fears in the face and shout"GET OUT!"

oral tdy. actually seems a lil better than i had expected with my standard! :D hahas. jiayous to those who haven take. it doesnt seem as scary anymore. :) hees. ok. hais.tired. am integration tmr... jiayous. susilo won the lin dan! :D yippes/ at least he get to move on the next rd. :)
and i shant b online as often! :)gotta study hard, hte prelims timetable came out tdy laios. hais. jiayous!!!!!!!!!!!

and thanks lots to all those who gave me your luck! :D
there's diana,niq,ltg,sam, oli,zhen,yiwen,zhimin,mic, yingyi etc etc etc. :Dthanks!!!!

editted for yingyi! :D see that ^ up there! ^

heh///watched the olympics yest! :D very nice! but was left feeling a lil lost inside. cos josceline yeo got er. 27 out of 38 foor her best butterfly 100m, and didnt mke it to the top 16 of cos. and lili was def by the china top seed. but she fought really well, considering we're so suai to get china as our opponent :/ and table tennis tdy i think hope they make it!

aww.oral tmr. wish me luck i'm the first! hate it.dun even think i'll need lunch, i just go and take the test and off i can go :( just hope i dun panic ! :D

its quite ...
wat shld i say. nostalgic to see PM goh step down. although somehow he says he isnt.
maybe its just me . cos the swearing in ceremony is MY backgrd music (and not JAY!) haha.s i just wan to say that he;s good. :D

i told ya i lead a boring life. :/ cos even i'm bored . hais. maybe its the boring ceremonuy.but its supposed to be. urg... an important chapter in our history (textbook) . yes. hais.

still got testimonials to RUSH. its tmr for the draft. :( until then., cya

B

hoho. ive just amde a new wallie since ages ago. aniw, happy national day! i love sg?!?!?!

http://www.webpost.net/sm/smilepigpig/qlxwallie1.gif

i'm amazed at how much i love to complain .a hundred plus posts to this blogg and still counting. sometimes i really just crap non stop here. like this post here.i'm amazed at how easily i'm influenced. despite not wanting to. i've to admit that i like the last jay album a lil more. more because of the songs, not that i dun like JAY! anymore, but mayb its his style of music now...can u believe that there's only 4 slower tracks! when i love his slower tracks most(except san nian er ban)but one thing is that i sometimes am deluded ... shant tok abt it. gotta be inspired to study like liying is!!! aww. so slack these days.just started out differentiation.tons to catch up with! and i shant update so freqently. cos the moere i update, the more time i'm on jcnet. which isnt too good. but i'm goanna be a member for a year in 2 mths time. how time pass.
off to jogging soon. i'm so fat i really need to jog. :/i miss all the things in the past. seems liek whatever was in the past was always better than what i have now. but i must b grateful . somehow i feel i shld b grateful for thgs. cos i have always been takign thgs for granted ..and i am now. my monittor is stlll pink and noirmal on and off. :/ baa. shant over use it.

tell me a reason not to love you.

if it was said that failure makes a man, then i must have not failed yet.
if it was said that man grows with experience, then i must have not gone through much.

so much for being melancholic.
mayb i'm orsino,
no, he's disgusting . hahas. and he doesnt noe Jay.
its terrible living in a world without jay.

i think jay is super talented.
really.
its nt one of my crazy love for HIM,
but his songs rox
esp wa po, so cute
and ge qian and jie kou. :) ilove jay.,
the songs are playing on a repeat now.
i'm praying tt it does nt die on me

ccc outing tdy. :) great fun! was cycling den slacking ard and stuff.. walking white snads and ended up at cd rama for so long listening and convincing them jay's songs are nice. obviously didnt work gtta brush up on my persuasive skills. no wonder i think i failed persuasive essay. ended up at liying's hse again.wonder why all meetings end up at her hse. :)she's kind to lend us her kitcehn at least :P hehs. :) i luv you guys too.

i'm ranting off. :/

kayaking tdy. first time this yr! :) hahas. u could guess my joy. went w crystal xinhui and yoshi lar.was quite a kuku place, considering tt its half day and prob half of the sng popn is at orchard. but wat can i say but HEALTHY us? hahas.lame. but i only realise tt i'm red when i come back to bathe and saw. :) its burning like other kayaking sessions lar. so its ook:) hahas.

was singing kukuk songs (not initiated by me i promised! :P) hahas. aniw, yeps. was like screaming back at those ppl dunni who one shore.and kept getting drifted away from the kelong called FC

aniw, am quite inspired to take 2 star now. mayb a while more when i'm more confient of capsizing ba. :) ok. tired alr.

btw qi li xiang roxss! the songs are so nice! dun worry i'll lend u guys su, when i finaish hugging jay! ;) aww.sickbut yes! i luv jay.

ahhas. crystal says i dun blog. so here i am blogging!!!! hahas only one thing to say. my jcnet revamp!! yays! its now the qi li xiang thingy! yippes! i luv jay. hahas. he's rocking me.! yays :)

thanks you. thank you. i'll miss u. that's all i can say. farewell np? its just so weird. i've been np my fourth yr running.met with thousands of trials and challenges and troubles and every tough thing on earth. and now i'm just goanna leave everything behind nd move on. -__- just listening to qi li xiang.,making me sad. baaits pretty sad.but i really really learnt to appreciateppl only now when everythg had been taken away from me. i would like to thank my campcraft com. it really made an impact on me, it taught me wat failure is, wat failing means. it made me lotsa of new friends, it provided me an 'eacape'  of sort away from taking sqd to concentrating on pitches during activity. this is selfish of me i noe, leaving su all alone suffering the tormemtous activities. but it made me grateful and thankful that i;'ve got su. REALLY. and my partner SU! she made me work harder then before cos she works really hard...although she kept thinking she is admin de liao one. no su, u're not. u're a great nco.i've always said su is better than me. yes SHE IS! she tries so hard for the sqd while i just slacken away. she coprdinates stuff while i just do nthg. and the campcrfat ppl.michelle chua- made me noe how to handle her  lil mood swings. and let me noe her so much better, liying- gave me many laughs together with michelle chua, practically crapped away. always so encouraging aand supportive as ever! yoshi-my buddy! always trying hard to do despite having to cope wtih cheer. chaun-PUNG! gave me a break by bickering. and bulying her.ahahs. siowyi-my fellow ex upright. let me feel fair with her dark skin and i;m still apologetic abt making her finger with two pegs incident. sinyao-always reminded me of stuff if nt i would have forgotten always. gen-so quiet but always willing to chiong zoee-always hee hee away and makes the com laugh too! yiteng-always so resoinsible and will rmb all the thgs tt i forgot. michelle chin-always wants to try he rbest for the pure good of the team. and our trainers whom we always bullying with the fact that we preomised to GENERALISE.hahas. and there's my drills com. its long ago but i still rmb.esp my ic xiaowen:!:!:!: and also ma'am.s yuhan ma'ams for always being able to push me to do  lil more things ..and she''s actually truely concerned for all of us. she evn risked getting poked by the glass and helped me! thanks a lot ma'am! and eveyln ma;am.our ccc trainer. she came down almost everytime and tried not to get us tensed up, and sorry tt i've broke her keychain and to the ma'ams who came back for my team! thanks you ! esp yuan zhen ma'am1 she roxs lehs! she noes i;'m stressed and she taught me everything and she nv scolds and yuwen a'am. she ghave us talks on how to improve and motivated us. an dto all thanks for your VICTORY sweets! :) and also. to nmy deraest partner for always doing all the  stuff tt i dun wan to do and didnt do and wasting ur time remainign indecisive. and always rening me .:) and oso to so many so many sqdmates who ha dbeen so supportive. comign down for activitys ... giving ur best and doing watever u hate to do but still do it for our sake! i love u,! i've learnt so much so much so much frm my sqdmates, they'e prob the best ppl in the world. they were with me when i was sad. they were encouraging when i failed. :)and to crystal. thanks for alwyays pei me go home, and trying to bicker with me hars, and xinhui for doing all the unit day stuff ;) sorry that our activity wasnt exactly intersteing. and to kezia. thansk for always not letting me be the lazy one. and xiaowen for always openign and teachging me how to open the armoury door. and so many so many i may nv thank enough. i just love u guys!

i think my monitior must have learnt some magic. one moment its/ e. pinky and stuff, and da dang, it turned back to normal.

crap! its goingto spoil soon lars:( hmm. its pink one moment and noraml the oter. must b the RGB up to no good. so many tests nxt week .and we're passing out nxt week too. wld i cry, NO! cos su will cry first and i 'll win the macs treat! ;) but i dun wan wear skirts, make me look so ugly. :( hais. must go ans study for tests liaos prob wun b. erm..online so soon with the com LIKE DIS~ hais. wells. gotta rush the pressies, and the sqd to unit ones and stuff. steppign down from pmb too. soon. yea. and time to study and settlle down an study and study liaos. !

heysheys ____- not supposed to b up here, but i am aniw. only fact is everyone is getting stressed and my blog cant publish! my god-__- jiayous ba

they did it! wohoo!


to all those who still reads my blog...pls support by clicking here! thanks,its just a link to a game that i'm palying.i need hits ..so :)

:/

i've got this feeling that i'm going to die soon. serious. i've been seeing like all those ex classmates and tchers whom i wanted to see in a way. as in...i'm happy to see them..but its just weird tt in one week, the number of ppl whom i saw is the same as thse i saw in a year..last yr. :/ so weird. mayb my end is reaching? and.. god wants be to die a worry-less death..

woohoo! thats my fav phrase. cos the dk games thread post a thon thing is going on now..support me here! http://www.jay-chou.net/forums/showthread.php?p=216445#post216445 just go in there and see once k:) we want to win ahahs. :)

lets recall.did up the website a lil at liying's hse....was almost there in front of the com for 6 .. 7 hrs? -___- o.O goggled eyed. but almost done for now,and pretty ncie. =] whahah den slacked thru sunday..and rushed RV on monday. :) yippes! off to post tons tons!

NAN QUAN MA MA :)

here's for yoshika.:)its a nice song aniw. alright.i;'m NOT onLINE!

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nyaa tdy:) shall blog abt it later.
nv shall do uit now. cos im off to my work and tests., busy start of term! super.all the test like very day of th e week is like -__- tdy nyaa quite fun lars. best game i've played like since forever! lol . hahas. Gd, and michelle chua and i was like seeing who got the most BEEP OBSTURCTION in the game.obviosuly i won:/
hehs.

hehs. was reading thru my diary entires during the campcraft period. and i realised how much ive been living in the past .. too much actually. too much. but its really hard to walk out. i can always behave like i have got over it...but hte fact is i nv could...or at least nt yet. really miss the trg days. and felt like going down to the field to peg .and despite always complainng abt the stupuid st nicholas swamp...i still miss it :/ very badly/
and despite all the trgs, i was a much happier girl. sometimes we just dun noe how to treasure thgs huh? oh is it only me.?

if only/ if only we had got in/

but am really happy for the shooting ppl! they got 1st and 4th for prelims. now must jiayou le k!:D :D


blah! in such a reminisceing mood.cos its the nan quan ma ma's wa jie on the radio right now and its a really sad song. :/ blah. boo! gtta put everythg behind and truly concentrate on term.

alright. hols ending in like 1 2 3 dayas.and i've still got a whole lot of hmwk and tests to sudy for. i promise i will try nt to fail anymmore tests nxt term. really tired of failing them alr. so i MUST PASS! :( and i shall be guai kia and go home everyday MUST STUDY! blah .hope i commit them. pls dig them out fdor me when i forgets them! :(

hehs sore eyes AGAIN!!! i mean, it NEVER went away lars :S hais. cant concentrate on studying with my eyes itchy and stuff. but that's just partly a reason, partly an excuse lars. :S haus. wish me luck for my eyes! bought FOOLSCPE AT LONG LAST .time for noted writing!

oh, there MSUt be one thing i must confess!!! JJ's new songs ROCKSSSSS ~!!@!~~! mans, the jiang nan song is like WOAH! so nice and rnb and stuff:D:D:D been slacking a lil and doing a lil work here and there whenever my attention allows it. still having a lil sore eyeys!!! .:( hais. hope it'll heal tmr:D hmm......... must seriosuly start studying and stuff cos its liek only abt 2 weeks left, and practically no tme left cos of all the slacking and stuff:!!:: arhg! jiayou ba.

hehs haven posted for a rathe rlong time. have sore eyes tdy:( hais

oh to the 1d ppl, cheryl's gbk is here http://love--.signmyguestbook.com yeps:) her blog is a lil abandoned, so u all might want to try her gbk:)
and :D do try to get thgs btw ur class ppl sorted out yea? can always ask us for help. :D if we can. :D heeh. take cares

off to jc.net and to sleep!

hehs. was just reeading thru last yr's christmas cards:) everyone's real weet:):) oh well, guess its a lil too early to talk abt that? hais. chi tmr..lit hte next.folowed by chem and py pract!!!!!!!!!!! what A holiday

hehs. hope its nt too late now, but wanna pray for our shootign com. they have really trined very hard.

and lord, i pray that you bless them with really, just a calm mind.
a calm mind that'll see them thru,
and a calm mind that allows the best of their potnetial to be shown.
a calm mind that wil also strectch their will, and ability.
Please, i pray for them, and
i'm sure that'll get the most deeming of their efforts and
bring home the glory for our unit.
God bless shooting ppl! :) u all can do it!

lucia suxs. serious. my ppr is liek shit. and prelims and all is coming. everyone's like chiong ing and studying and whats lucia doing? slacking everyday away. i told you she suxs aniw, nvm got so HIGH for ppr before lor:(:(:(

dun like lucia.

mans, i feel so dumb. was sitting in front of the computer waitinmg for it to start, and i realise i didnt on the monitor! blah. A day at np., cos i couldnt find an appropriate word in english or any dialect to describe in( due to my lack grasp og the eng language.)was 'amazed...by kerrie's good grasp in the language. she knew that atheist were ppl ho were antigod. mans, wish i could be as knowlegable. blah. blame it on myslef. mayb i shld start being less parochial and READ UP MORE.finished the adrain mole diary on account that it was the most intersteing book i've read this yr, and i finshed it in 3 days or SO! np was ok. moral was pretty nt bad, at least it was a bunch of :( faces? hehs. su su and i joined in for abt 5 mins. i shall b kind to susu. i noe i'm super irritating and mean and stupid and hateful and the lists go on... yeps. aniws, we join the sec 3s for 10mins. was fun. didnt do marchg for VERY VERY VERY long. :) den had pt and i realise that i'm much weaker alr. mayb i shld start thinking abt being overweight. blah. put that at the bottom lars. hahe. den had sqd int. hsant blog abt this. blogs are open .though i noe mine is pretty CLOSED.as in no one visits here except dum and stupid and naggy and sadistic and pessimistic me. blahs. shall note in my diary. i keep one! but haven touched for a thousands years minus 90% . lol. i'm becoming to write adrian mole style. blah. and i'm a lousy nco. blah. i'm so lazy. blah blah blah., boohoo.

i suck/
oh btw the jay-chou forum which i frequently frequent is upgraede! mans it look SO diao! so see it!
simply rocks

ehss. have you ever been caught in a traffic jam? at 2.30 in the hot and sunny afternoon. ? shld be no if you arent as unlucky as me right? mans, was caught in a TRAFFICjam yes on the way home on the bus. actualy it was cos there's this 3 lanes thing, and 1 lane is taken up by an accident. mans. :/ yepyeps.
did maths! so proud of myself. shall nv qian maths homework.again.

cool blogger

mans, the new blogger seems real cOOL! i meant, its REALLY cooler now. its revamped! try blogger! hahas aniw., haven been wantinmg to blog much cos i was shuning away frm a ahem particaularly controversery topic.which is STILL very controversial NOW... finish kotc tdy .. really felt the sens eof finality. and when ui read tt ks died, it just make me really sad for a while. :( yep, off to do some web changing with my blog the the np one.

*headache . came up wanting to change the skin. but took like 10misn to log into blogger. my com. hais. :(

lucia is tired. been sad these days. shant blog further than the full stop yea .

temp chanegd 2 times.

templ cahnegd the first was a white and oragne one. but gues its too brigth for a dull person liek me. so i stick to black. and modified my older skins:) cya

say with me. lucia sucks

sucky . i suck like hell. bleahgh. super doom day tdy. lets see how unlucky or in fact hiw sucky i am. first thing in the morn, somethg bad. den during class found tt i forgot to bring np skirt. den lunch time rush like mad. den puke blood .den just now, just cut my finger.now the bleeding cant really stop. blahs.alright i suck and i see thousnads of heads nodding. mayb i shldnt even existed .deep down in me.,..i really feel campcraft rox. i mean, i was just full of rage a while ago, den i read OUR blog and i feel more relieved/ wat else is better than thaT?i mean, i love ccc. mans, ok. i noe i suck .boooboonobobo bish bang . wanna hit myself. boos. lucia's not happy. mayb lucia's too evil god hate me too. baa. bish. boo. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh so many bad thgs happen tdy, i shant think of. napfa ove rliaos. suck like lucia as usual. baa. wateva lars. i hate

Are you Addicted to the Internet? 41% Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%) You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer. The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!

just did this.rather stupid. gonna change my tmepl SOON! haven changed for REALLY long. but of cos everyone whould advise/ STUDIES 1ST! met zhenting tdy!!! so happy!@@ haven seen her for realli long. walked w her back to 276... haven tok for reall long... :) so happy.

ShAggEd

shagged from the 2 day camp. cant believe it. even after stc i didnt sleep rite after i got home. serious.i didnt have shoulder ache. not frm sleeping on the ground! .i must have aged, wo lao le lahs. :( aniw, the camp was, wat can i say. a wreck ?nvm. but i was amazed that the toilet there is worse than pulua ubin;s one. as in.at lkeast there wasnt cockroaches roaming ard. and the sink and WALLS doesnt have thousands of ants. didnt dared to lean on the walll like i loved to. the ants are in such huge numbers, it scares me... anuw, duidnt do belaying. :( cos it rained in the morning.:( and went to belay school and there;s this ah pek who is SO irriatting ..he kept PULLING your handS to the belaying line. without telling you what to do,.everyone who became belayer was like face totally changed. kanglin and cheryl. and me. doink.s ok, okok.. was super tired yest. aniw, shall go looking ard liaos. bye!

red rocks! we're SECOND! yays!

wah! super tired today. :/ just finish polishing full u for tmr sports day. FULL U. yes u got it. hais. shant b too lazy. i'm nice. all wells.actually not..but..just delude mysefl into beliebving it anyw. quite irritated by *lalal* tdy. but she's *bababab*'s best friend. so i shnt elab further.went army mkt to get messtins..ended up getting stoves and fuel too! baa. aniw, dunno how i'm goann bring it to scholl. things will solve for itself in due time. realise i suck at my job. or wateva it is. a chore? mayb./ hais.wateva lar.,, so tired..just came online for a while, ... hehs.

YO!

YO! haven been back here for a while:D did changes to the website a while ago in school. so ers..ers.s but, cant help it, she's so si gu ban rite? so we shld sympathises w her. yes. boo.

hehs/ tired. i noe i've always said that.but i'm alwyas am.. went tchs tdy, me and suann crapping away in the bus and everyon looking at us strangely. WE are FINE.seriosu. just mayb too cold .. mayb only.:) aniw, it was SUPER boring. i mean, looking at a grp of ppl doing some activity cant be any intersting ritE?
but aniw, i could see certain effort by the oic wannabe lars. shall be encouraging larrs:) not bad. just that they are superb polite..everything oso "may i...", "allow me to..." i'm like. .erms. oh wells.too polite, shall learn ffrom them. aniw, the most interesting part was when the sec 4 sqd was tying rope obstcle. the CI very nice to them.. (vs ours) aniw, tehy were like 2, 6 pull. 2, 6, pul... den in like 30 mins or less, finished a monkey's crawl/..woah. and ok-ly tight lars/ :) yeps, and they have 1 hour reacreational activity which ahppened to be soccer. yeps, and they have like 13 gold proficiency awards. and yes, tons of trophies. aniw, yes, they seemed really organised as in teh cca. yeps. and they train ccc until 9 at night one. a bit WOAH only. :)yes. i'm tired. longest entry of these few days. alright. gtta slp or study for chi.

slacker.

good friday.
lucia's slacking
tryign to do up some wallpaper.

slacker.

hais..how stupid is lucia? very.ok.. forgot all abt my that gay essay. mans, should it be legaliesd? do i care> not like i'm one. boo.just droped by with my FRUSTRATIONS> baababbabbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ok,,i'm a lil better, gtta rush out the essay now.

mad monday (alliteration meant)

hey heys. tmr got chem. den its over for this week. going tchs on sat. :( sometimes i really hope i can just see him once more. would i see him there? probabaly not. so long nv see liaos. god wun be so ncie to me one lars. i'm not such a good girl to be so blessed. aniw, enough of that. i must concentatrate on CHEM. yes. :) listening to tension's our story;..super ncie, ..hmm.okok. gtta go

dun miss me. oh did i tell u everyone in class is a bit mad. so its MAD MONDAY!

oh mans, haven blogged for a realli long time. mayb cos i'm too lazy..and life's a complete routine? yes it is.. had netball just now.fun fun fun lars. hmm. must wear full u tmr. sian.s cya

i'm tired. tireded. tire out:(

feeling the strain tdy.
real bad
sucks actually.
now tt makes me miss campcraft even more
baa.
i hate this.
really.
not with ppl who dun give a d*** abt u
not at all
now i truly admire suann
w/o camocraft,i guess i'm a doubly unhappy person
MUCH MORE :(
does it make u think tt i'll be happy to make u suffer?
i'm not here to see ur unhappiness one k.
i'm a human,
basic human rights states tt i've GOT A LIFE (too)
and not only u have it.
but mayb u just tot i'm super sadistic.
or smtg along tht line.
man
i noe i make a bad one.
not tt i truly want this.
mayb its a punishment for which i have not figured out yet tahts all
yes?
mayb its really true that when you gain smthg.,u lose smhtg,
and to that i think u lose smthg much more.
mans, sucks
i'm trying
but i've failed.
ive given up
and im more tired than ever

and i'm just ... tired ...

can u imagine the joy of having ur ex ex ex ex ex ex classmate call u ? and hen u had no idea that she 'll. !!! jean called. reason for the many ex(s) cos she's a p4 friend.
campcraft roxs, cos i met her during the campcraft briefing ,thats how i MET her again. fear not this is no infatuation. :) its just plain happiness. its really a greta feeling to noe that ur fren still rmbs you. talked for 1 hr(sheesh) ..so happy. but got reminded of campcraft and stuff, they got 15. yea. but they did well lars, oh wells. shall not remind myself of it
i noe i'm runnign away.
well, who cares mans
no one noes. or no one would bother at least
at least i dun get ppl worrying for me .
and tt is rather gd alr.
i dun wan to make other ppl sad too. not them taht is.
i will nv.
it had been buried. like karmum said in her speech.
failure. brings out sucess.
but i could inly bury it deeper and deeper
until only i noe it existed.
or not ven me.
argh,,, dun bother abt me crapping
i'm fine. :( just got back to that vtopic i;ve skipped for long again.
cos of my fren JEAN! :)yeayea.

check it out

yoyo. haven been online for long.
check THIS out. ohh, but let me say ***** first!:) yea. np tmr. tired. hais.

losing things

i have lost so many things.
i forgot where to start from
life's a losing game
or a sure win to some
but you'll never know if you win or lose
until that happens

losing is not failing.
failing is not the inablitily to win
the inabiltiy to win is not a measure of what you are

trophies are not how to measure one
grades aren't the way to see how far you'll go
certs does not tell us one's character.

measure is, but, a unit
a unit which we designate it on
how we want to measure, there's no limits.
1 kilo wtatt seems little,
but 1000 watts much.

i've lost interest in my once best things
phtoography, smiling, everything.
everything was great
but they arent now
but it does not mean taht
i've lost
it does not mean that
i've won either

life's a non losing, a non winning
that's because i define life taht way
and i want it that way

chnaged the pic.. i didnt want to .. but the pic host just shut down on me! :( and i cant find the pic now. nvm. thanks to crystal who told me that the pic died. :( oh wells. had sakae sushi just now..my sis treat! :) yays.

wo lei le!

yes, i'm tired of ********** and **** basically everything:( oh wells:) i must stay happy. besides, what else cld get me down other than the ahem a while ago? NOTHING. oh wells. tried making some wallpapers :)
dong feng po one ..and a qing tian one:) hehes. yeps.yeps. oh well.s:) i wILL SMILE

yoyo .hehs . :) so bored.shall get down to some serious studying// tmr got maths lesson:( hehs. but guess i wun last thur.. its 3hrs! oh man, yeps :( ok. cya

i think my trainers rox. > < oh wells. i've officially ot over it. and feels glad that zhenting got in :) i'm fine.serious. :) thanks. i love u. hehs/ ok. gtg offline soon. hmm. i think ccc roxs. ops have i repeated taht the thousandth time? i'm sorry. hehs/ oh well. actuall logged in the delete my gbk. there's too much vulgarity ..mayb i'll put it on hold for a while and see./ ? and change some links and add the ccc llink. yeps. i'm so boring./ think i mayb getting a hp soon... yars.

‰ñ“ž‰ß‹Ž

i just cant say it out. i really cant. i see u, but the words doesnt come out.
fact is i see u, but i just dunno wat to say.

ˆêáµ黃黃äpäp“I“• ŽžŠÔ?Ý?Ó–ã•s™àãß
Žâ›‹‰ºŽèŸ|–³•ª?¡ •s懂“¾çj?d”V•ª
沉àÒŽx撐–ô‰ßè™?¶ èÎèΊŒ˜—½?í黃?¨
妳“I?g‰e Ž¸‹Ž•½?t –?–?‰º沉

üKˆÃ›ß?݋󒆔Õ?ù ŠY‰?哪‰äŠÅ•sŒ©
–ç‹–ˆ¤?Ý–²“I另ˆê’[ –³–@‘¶Šˆ?Ý?^›‰“I‹óŠÔ

#‘z‰ñ“ž‰ß‹Ž ŽŽ’˜•ø妳?ݜ嗡
㵋¯“Iä_›æ—Lˆêêy’tŸ†
‘zŠÅ妳“IŠÅ“I?¢ŠE?C‘z?Ý妳–²“Iá`–Ê
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‘z‰ñ“ž‰ß‹Ž ŽŽ’˜æ¨ŒÌŽ–ã‹ã”
ŽŠ?­•s?Äæ¨妳—£‰äŽ§‹Ž
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”‡žé”Ò—¯•s’mŠÒ˜Ò•s˜Ò“¾‹y ‘z‰ñ“ž‰ß‹Ž

Žv??•s?Бj擋’˜‰ñ‰¯”d•ú
–Ó–Ú“I’Ç?q˜¹‘R‹ó‹óá¹á¹
ŠDàaàa“I–é晚?‡ˆÓ–”•s’m躲“ž哪‹Ž
ˆêçz?gŒÇšd›ß躺?Ý?g?Ó

沉àÒŽx撐–ô‰ßè™?¶ èÎèΊŒ˜—½?í黃?¨
妳“I?g‰e Ž¸‹Ž•½?t –?–?‰º沉 ‘z‰ñ“ž‰ß‹Ž

An old yellow lamp/ Time beside me, not making a sound
Loneliness mercilessly on me / Not knowing different intensities (of light and hard)
Quietness has crossed over to Strangeness / Quietly looking at morning and sunset
Your siluette / Losing balance / Falling slowly

Darkness is already encircling us in the sky/ Where I should face? I can't see
Perhaps love is at the other end of a dream / Unable to survive in the realms of reality

Want to return to the past / To try to hug you
Blushing (shy) face has a little childish side
Want to see the world you see / Want to be in your dreams
Only if we lean on each other can we feel the sweetness (or blissfulness)
Want to return to the past / To try to allow the story to continue
At least I won't allow you to leave me again
I'll take note when we part / To hug you even tighter
This sort of salvage effort, I don't know if it's still in time
Want to return to the past

Emotions keep stopping the memories playing (in my head)
Blindly chasing and looking yet still empty-handed (or in vain)
Sleeping late on a grey and unclear night and don't know where to hide
Before I know it loneliness is already lying beside me

i wanna go back to the past. but i noe its impossible :( i love u


this is my current fave song.:
ladies and gentlemen, i present: why can't you even speak clearly
想別的可是在你眼中察覺什麼一閃而過
xiang bie de ke shi zai ni yan zhong cha jue shen me yi shan er guo
怎麼像是寂寞 於是我更會沉默
zen me xiang shi ji mo yu shi wo geng hui chen mo

沒說的 全世界差點都弄懂了那是什麼 而我尷尬笑著走開
mei shuo de quan shi jie cha dian dou nong dong le na shi shen me er wo gan ga xiao zhe zou kai
只能夠裝做不懂 怎麼能折穿你的不同
zhi neng gou zhuang zuo bu dong zen me neng chai chuan ni de bu tong

Oh偏偏 這地球這麼小這麼擠這麼瘦 太陽刻意曬得那麼兇
oh pian pian zhe di qiu zhe me xiao zhe me ji zhe me shou tai yang ke yi shai de na me xiong
為什麼你出現在他出現以後
wei shen me ni chu xian zai ta chu xian yi hou

CHORUS:
你怎麼連話都說不清楚 那溫柔的tone我聽的清楚
ni zen me lian hua dou shuo bu qing chu na wen rou de tone wo ting de qing chu
我站在他的身邊 你站在我的面前 怎麼這樣心裡會難過
wo zhan zai ta de shen bian ni zhan zai wo de mian qian zen me zhe yang xin li hui na guo
你怎麼連話都說不清楚 那溫柔的痛我記得清楚
ni zen me lian hua dou shuo bu qing chu na wen rou de tong wo ji de qing chu
他站在我的面前 你經過我的身邊
ta zhan zai wo de mian qian ni jing guo wo de shen bian
忽然之間心裡又難過 為什麼
hu ran zhi jian xin li you na guo wei shen me

hehes. i'm ok. just that i haven quite got over the fact tt ... ppl noe and i din. baa. hais. and that i got my first slammed phone. :( haihiaas. nvm ..i'llget over it v soon..so no worry.
went to laboradoe (watvea the spelling is ) adventure center for a kuku briefing. oh wells.so sian.shall try studying amaths later:)yes. must resuem to being a guai kia again alr

hold me. i cant hold on mch longer. i;m the failure who let u down. i'm teh failure who cant get up:(

when i fell
my team stood strong

when i wanted to give up
my team braved against all

when i cry
my team went on strong

holding back tears was terrible.

i know i had to stand strong
but i didnt.

i know i should have known the results
i chose to deceive myself.

i know that miracles dont happen
but i chose to believe in them

i know that i'll cry
but i insist i wouldnt.

hold me.
cos i cant hold on for long.

:( i suck. u'll be way better away frm me.

Don’t come near me
I don’t wish a deeper wound
I don’t wish for a scar
I don’t wish for more damage.

Don’t come near me now
I feel like shit
Jus wish someone would kill me
Or hurt me deep enough I don’t care
It sucks
Life sucks
I don’t see any hope
I don’t see any glimmer there
And I don’t wanna think now

I should have knew it all along
I should have realized all this while
I shouldn’t have been so naïve
As to believe that miracles happen.
If you do ask me now, I’m telling it never does
I shouldn’t have bear hope all along
I shouldn’t even have thought that faith would help at all.
Damn it, life sucks.
This life I’m living
Sucks

I so wanted to go to training
To train and not to compete
It’s too much for me.
I hate to compete with others
For I never have won
I hate the feeling of failing
I hate the feeling of being let down
I cant take failure well
Fact is, I can’t take it at all.
How do you get me down?
Easy
Fail me and it shall be.

Naïve.
Dumb.
Stupid
Down.
Out.
Grieved.
Rage.
Frustration.
Helplessness.
Anger.
Hatred.
Sadness.
Loneliness.
Tears.
Thoughts.
Hurt.
Wound.
Open.
Wounded.
Cut.
Bled.
Damage.
Crushed.
Smashed.
Broken.
Spoilt.
Permanent.

dun come near me. i dun wanna cry : ( i noe itsMYfault i'mTOblame itsMYfault i sucks.

heart attack alert

think my heart will JUMP out anytime. its alr THURS!darling! its thurs and the stupid results arent out yet. i noe i shldnt say this but no matter how slim the chances,

i'm hoping
i'm praying

getting all hand and feet cold when yimin called just now. *froze* lor. so scared that its the result yet i SO wanted to know. oh mans, i'm a stupid dumbdumb .meeting wif ms ng tmr. think she may tell us only then.
but if its gd, why cant she tell us now rite? but mayb she doesnt have the results too yet. hais. i'm sure i'm goanna get a heart attck at this rate, wif the no of phone calls i get and jumping at each. oh wells,

a realli untouching poem at long last, half done cos i was scared to death by osy who said the result swere out alr.and no mood to continue whatsoever. pray for us.and i pray for you too:)

it doesn't matter whether you know
as long as we know
that now
a trauma we can overcome
its not easy
its always painful
noone wants to be hurt
but after the hurt
lessons will become clearer
friends will become closer
and from then on, we learn

its a painful step out
its a dilemma to face the truth
but only by making the first step,
can healing begin
and the dew clear away

yays campcraft peeps! i ahve set up a ccc blog! http://welovecampcraft.blogspot.com/ yay? eh. give u guys the pw tmr. alright. due to overwhelming response, i shall stop making ppl sad.

this is michelle chua's one. dun miss it!@

in this race..
tryg so hard traing so much no one understands hw we feels.
life sux life rox ..we stood by our lots

the rebounding sound..
hittg rocks.
gettg a grip on our wrist without gettg piss..
backaches hearches wad else kan life do 2 us ..
life is small so small that nothin else matters wad else kan i ask for..
but i ask u lord 2 give us ur grace. 2 bless us
pegging times raising times resume .
etcjed on our heart braking mi heart..
lookg fm mi window the sch field lies..
memories comes floating past
ponng times slackg times ..
serious time painful times...
times we spent times we waste/..
times we walked 2gether/.
it remains within the heart 4 those hu see 4 e frenship bondd is unbreakable
life sux life rox life is unfair./..
under the sun some came tanned some remained fair..
but the lesson taught remained there...

we tried . we sweat. we bled. we cried...
hu heard saw us hu heard us..
no 1 except each other..
thank 2 trainers we tried 2 generalise thanx to the seniors we took 4 granted ..
thanx 2 the tcher hu scolded... remindd abt the hair./

[didnt catch the ending parts if there was any:)]

prayer i hope you'll answer, lord

anyway...vote for my poem on jay-chou.net!!!! heheshhesits the second link in the hidden link box
hais. :( jiayous


Pitch. Evaluate. Unpitch.
Pitch. Evaluate. Unpitch.
Dear lord, I pray for your forgiveness
For all the complaints I once had
For all the things I had taken for granted
For all the whining my mates withstand

I thank you
For the trainers whom I’ve bullied
For the team that I’ve not treated well
For the seniors whom I didn’t care more
For the dying field that I was scolding
For the twine which I swear at

Lord I pray
I pray hard to you, lord.
Doesn’t it pays to strive for two months?
Doesn’t it pays to work so hard?
Doesn’t it pays to have such great desire?
Doesn’t it pays that we’ve tried so hard?

I’m sorry to all those whom I had let down
Those who were disappointed in us
Those who prayed for us
Those who wished we did it
Those who gasped in disbelief
Those who said “its okay”
Those who said it didn’t matter
Those who said a prayer
Those who wished us well
Those who supported us
Those who tried to cheer us up
Those who remained string
Those who gave us each a hug
Those who gave us a pat on our backs
Those who said it was okay, try again
Those came down to train us
Those who stayed on to discuss
Those who persevere with us through
Those who endured the sun in the afternoons
Those who covered us when it rained
Those who got drenched getting us out of the rain
Those who had given us advice
Those who tried so hard to distract us
Those who tried not to say we can’t do it
Those who think the world of us
Those who encouraged us on
Those who occupied the field and make us stringer in will
Those whom sheltered us form dangers
Those who feels happy for us when we set a new record
Thos who stepped on the grass and made the ground bare
Those days when I shouted vulgarities
Those days when I took things for granted
Those days when I felt like slacking away
Those days I have just forgotten.

Thank you and I am sorry
Thank you and I pray you
Please pray for us through this
Difficult time we are having
When we still keeping images in our minds. The
Pitch. Evaluate. Unpitch.

__________________________________________

Its not just for the glory
Or just for the fame of it all.
It’s not just to show them
Who, we st nicks, really were.
It’s to tell ourselves
That, yes, we could do it.
It’s to tell ourselves
That, we didn’t do it for nothing.
That place in the finals was so
Important to us all
We wanted to know that
We were people of skills
It doesn’t all ends at
A challenge where all pit their skills against
It doesn’t end
The spirit never dies
It goes beyond of training
To real friendship built
So true
On pure work and
Understanding
And the time we’ve spent together. Pray for us all

the prayer i hope you'll answer, lord

just felt like writing a poem so i did it on the way home tdy. not feeling any better. am still reminded by it. :`(
thou shalt cry:(


suddenly felt so thankful
suddenly felt so sad
suddenly feel
my deep bond with the team
just so suddenly do i want
to say
i love you guys!
to say, you are my greatest pals.
and the greatest team there'll ever be
to say it does not matter whatever the result
is nothing but false says.
we wan to win
so badly i can give up anything.
we want to win so badly
cos we trained so hard just for this!
i thank god for this team that i have
but i do pray you lord,
get my team in lord.
we really wanna win, lord
we really want to get in, lord.
its not fair for us, lord
for all the time and sweat we had given
and just for that twine to snap
its not fair to us
a team that so wanna get in.
tell us that life is fair
this life you've given is fair.
fair to all our efforts
fair to all us girls.
fair to all out time
finals we will be.
we cried so sadly that day, lord
that we seem to know we're out.
let us all realise
taht lord, that incident was your will
but assure pur souls dear lord
that nothing will be for sure
and that we are not for sure
bound to not gte in.
Praise be with you lord,
please show us taht miracles do happen
taht efforts do get paid off
that faith was all we need.
please tell us that we can
do it to the very finals.
thst we've praised your name and praise you lord, always be
let us know your strength, dear lord,
let us know that we'll get in.
just let us all get to enjoy
ven more time together as a team.
taht last saturday was not the end
not the end to the campcraft team.
our love for each is so
great that no one believes
deep inside our hearts all
we know that its your will
that it so happened that way
that you'll lead us through, and bless us through it'll be
we pray for your kindness
that st nicks will be in.
to cleanse us of the gulit or regret we may harbour this coming week
teach us to be strong
for we really want to get onin
relieve us of our grieves and teach us that all we need
is a prayer taht you'll answer
and that prayer this shall be.
oh, i pray you dear lord.


poem 2

is campcraft such a torture, you just couldn't make it every session?
Or is it so great being with your buddies, you'll make it no matter what?

is campcraft so torturous, that all you want is for it to end?
Or is it so enjoyable, no amount of sunlight could deny you?

is campcraft such a bother, that you get irked everytime you think about it?
Or is it so committing, that you just keep having it in your mind?

is being in campcraft an unfortunate mistake?
Or is it so enjoyable you thank god for this chance?

is being in campcraft so prestigous that you hoped someone else was in?
Or is it so close to you, you'll nver want it to end?

is Campcraft so small in your heart, that the results dont matter?
or is it so meaningful, that you would do anything in hope of getting in?

is campcraft too meaningless to you, taht all you pray is the break of every training?
Or is it such a grat opportunity, you go home feeling great everyday?

F*** the twine

warning. the following contents are highly VULGAR and i do nt care
SHITSHITHSIT SHITSHITSHITSHIT shit their twine/ :( i really wanna do it. and we cld hav just DONE IT lor pls. its was alr OUT. !!!@@#$$^*&^(*^ F#%U%^*C&*%(*&K@ wah laos! shit them go die lars. FCKU wateva. lalala sai!~ baa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 argh. i just cant still accept it. NEVER. if ms ng regretted her that thing for a yr. i'll rmb this FOR LIFE and i mean forever!$% i cant forguive myself. i mean. i shld have... argh. shant tok abt it. i feel like lousy SHIT!
oh my god.!/SHIT, go die lars. wah laos. i really cant bring myself to think tt . and the worse thing is ............! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAaa i hate IT !!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 iHATE M"YSLEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFff/imsorrytoallthosemaamswhohadsokindergivenencouagemt. inoedeepinurdissapointedtooinoe.donttrytosaynthgswrongcostheentireshitthingwasstupidshit

jiayous,. best:945 JIAYOUS. =)

yo yo yo. haven been UP in a week. great self controls. i've gtta repeat again..but i'm tired my body just cant take it. hmm. lets see. we 're under 11 most of the time. i HOPE AND PRAYS. yes. went PA and saw 2 other kuku schools picthing oso. got one look like acs one the CI so super xiong. thank god we got better trainers yea? tehy were like you either get the tent up or gt the skool down. -doink- somethg like that. anfd the other mixed school the weatherpiece super er xin. as in disgustingly disastrously done. but we still got a lwhole lot off ppl to beat.

had invest. ok lar exceot everyone said i was dancing with a funny expreassion., -__- ok. tired. be back soon i hope. :)

"success is for she who tries" Jiayous!

^ *looks up* yes, that's the famous line by reowned philosopy-er Lucia! - wateva.- ok aniw yes, tdta v day!!!!so happy v day to everyone!!! yays. *world peace**world peace* -__________ -ok, i just a lil lame tdy. aniw, had ccc as usual. Yesterdays et record for under 11 ..
10.36! hehs!! yays. but ytd the grd was hard/ so its really an achivement. tdy the gd was HARDER! much more. and yes, that's the St nicholas desert we never quite experience b4. haven been online for LONNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG. very long, that is. :)hehs. time to get lesser com time, yar? tdy .was v difficult, very treachous. technically and emotionally. was scolding 'damn it' all the time i was pegging. take at least 20plus pegging to get it in lors. when packing up, i'm like so wanted to shout. -___-
hehs. tired tired./happy v day!.. anuiw got another bout of blisters, at the exact same spot. plus the ones on my darlign toes.

Zoee, yiteng, chuanting ,gen, sinyao,chin, chua,liying,yoshi ,siowyi!must take care kaes!
esp zoee and yiteng's finger, and chuantg's and gen's hands! and chua's shoulder. jiayous

kuku at PA:)

went PA for the brieifng/ indeeed, we got the wrong time alr. its suppposed to get there at
9. and 3 officials asked"so, u r late" 3 times individually. and i'm like .no we are not
informed that its 9. we tot it was 11..
... but was okay larS:) typing out the q and a thingy. took some pics.make me look so kuku :) i am anyway.

yi ding yao jin finals. - yes ma'am

met zhenting tody. was realli happi to meet her. really haven seen her since at least 3 months plus plus alr. felt nervous but scared to see her actually. cos i noe tt theyir ccc v v v v v good. alr 10mins plau only lor.s hmm. was actually v sad today one cos of recee trg thingy. .but after seeing her. she renew my faith. she renewed my will bcos of one phrase she said. " yi ding yao jin finals k " (must get into finals k) its just so melt me. :) love her so much! thanks zhenting!!!! she's really nice!!!!!!!!!!! yays. i really hope we get in too. REALLY. which means we need to Jia jia jia yous. cos we really need to JIA a lot. :( should stop feeling sad.and yes .
really hate to compete with my friends. i nv like wining them (much to the reason i love san nian er ban. reaD:da lyrics) i nv like to gen bia ren bi. but now, i must. and i waih them well too! got atleast 3 friends i noe in ccc liaos lor. :( hm.
crysaal say i'm an evternal focus pt or smthg person. hmm ./so right, but cant help it mahs. i could only pray. and leave all focus to tmr 's trg alr. thansk zhentng! we WILL get into finals. (if only we continue to try hard enough) and we will!!!!!!!!! :/
god bless

the standstill. i hate it

this was supposed to be yestedy's post

ccc tdy.trely sepressing.plus the fact that ,y com only a littlle conked up only ahrs. cant belive i'm usuign notepad to type.smth'g wrong with teh connection. or the com's connection at least. just done up the ccc tent mark scheme. hope its okay. realising the stnadstil. wat can we do to motivate? saw phs again/ was thinking of com tee/ but doubt any1 would support my idea aniw/. hehs. or ccc tots bk. or ccc towel! just an identity. or mayb b4 each session have a 15 mins netball session? just smthg to get us going? dunno lars.. wait till i have the internet up first..

sad:(

yesterday was unit day. mmust say i only went for the dinner.cos i merely did!. hehs had cc. its being to standsill.the timing. and my skills are getting worse and worse. more and more mistakes pop.more and more creases/. more and more lan pitch cos of me... baa!... :( i'm sorry. :`( ./ hehhehs. suddenyl feelinjg so sad cos there's something wrong with the sound recorder thing on my com. baa!. i guess i said countless baa here alr. in the post far below. baa. . . suddenyl remeber i must learn to play the opiano. cos i wan to! its been in me for very long. very very. baa. hais. gta study latert.got geog n amaths. i dun wanna drop it. i wan to PASS AMATHS! hopefully this test. :( baa.

i am stupid.incompetent.lousy. but not my team darling.no faith?just u see

tired. i think i'm always complaining of being tiredf, cos i really am. hehs unit day tmr. sdo, wat does UNIT mean to u? US ritE>everyone one sec 1 s to s4 rite? YES. but arent the ccc ppl part of the unit too? shouldnt we celebrate unti day too> ? itsnt it rite that evryone in the unit ..takes a break, and enjoy on the ONE AND ONLY unit day (per year) . isnt it MORE supposed to b enjoyed especially since this is our last unit day? apparently someone doesnt see the leasdt of the point.at the very least , she doesnt . :(hehs. sheesh. and i heard that someobody dun think e'll make it. *bash* *hit * *kick wall * WHY!WHY! have faith in us darlings. cos we are trying hard.,its just taht u dun seee.. and so therefroe u HAVE no right to say that we wont make it. we will. even if no, we will b proud that at least we tried. and had tried. YOU did nt even make an efort to say jiayou.always hanging out..i dunno wat ./ and there u are pouring cold h2o on us. ? we'll show u wat we can do. and dont u insult my team. just found this meaningful quote. i am stupid.incompetent.lousy. but not my team darling.no faith!?just u see yes. just u see ?/ i'm just so dissappointed in you. u only show how irritating u r.i'm sorry. u r ! baa!~

i'm tired.i wan more hols! but i noe i've gotta chiong fmr now on.enuff of hte net.enuff of food.enuff of sleep. go give ur best my darling lucia. go! u cant always remain slacking ard! and u noe that/ go and give ur best. be it ccc or ur studies. gif it ur best mans!

i'm tired.i wan more hols! but i noe i've gotta chiong fmr now on.enuff of hte net.enuff of food.enuff of sleep. go give ur best my darling lucia. go! u cant always remain slacking ard! and u noe that/ go and give ur best. be it ccc or ur studies. gif it ur best mans!

yays..its da new year./the 2nd day of the cny..and i'm practically stoning at hm..ate breakfast outside. den came home and slacked. sis went out.i stayed at home.. h\surfed thru the foru,.den did up the np website..looks good! :) yays. but not done yet lars.. :hhmm.

the break .

hehs nice timing tdy. due to the cooperative grd of course. the st nicholas desert is not that hard.. . hehs ..may b telling them that.. if i manage to find the courage to. we'll see then. ani record today: 11plus ..did 6 pitches(woah) ..hehs. hppy new yr aniw.. :)wish me well...at least theres a break. for my hands..

saw phs npcc training for ccc oso..at like 7 at night? wah. somehow i was stunned. dunno.but just simply stunned when i saw that they trained .. untuil so late.. cldnt really see the quality lars.but ..looks fast to me. and they were wearing dark blue tee and blakc slacks. woah. hais tired. new yera cele tmr. cya

pics link- one of the hidden thingy there.

i uploaded pics we took after campcraft.. campcraft peeps:)! its herE! :) aww.tired say./ jiayous or look at the link box below

the 'i love weixi' campaign:)

am more sad than tired now. WEIXI is leaving! i dun wan! i hereby proclaim my love for her..pls stay.
i luv weixi ma'am. baa. y must she leave>?when she's SO nice and good.! (whoever dare oppose.. i'll kil u) baa..violence.lol / but i really wan her to stay..her drills sessiom///her dont lookon the floor..no gold theory. its simply.. hais. BAA ..it'll be yh's reign lor. like a bit omg i dunwan only lor.s and i could only BAAA here. mans. frustration. BAA

hehs idnt go school tdy. sore eyes in the morning/ but okay later after i went back n slept .hehs. shall study physics. now. no fooling ard.! muster parade tmr. and cc. baa.

volley today..lotsa fun.
recess trg today. ok lars.practised tying bowline and slip knots. so flimpsy.or at least for my hands. :( hais. but aniw. its okay target: bowline under 5 secs or bith under 10secs. reward:drink frm ms ng. lame lame. hahas. but shll try when i free-er
haois.had amaths retest tdy. shallnt elaborate.. went hm with osy, :) yeps.boring busy day.

campcraft jiayous!

campcraft trg for 2 consectutive days. with like interval of lemme see..abt 15 hrs i guess. baa. i can really reallY feel its strain on my fingers and my entire body.esp when i had to camp in school and its like i slept at 1 to write msgs for my darling class. in the morning some stupid sec 1s came to the gym and made so much noise lor. baa.for the orinetation camp..i practically missed every highlight on it. yes, so heh.only thing is that cheryl is obessed with arongon. or however u spell it. like ~ dots.
hehs and
one diligence ROCKS
i love u guys. actually they r really fine ppl. and fun too:) hope they 'll grow to b even more enthu and active in class. :)gogogo!

camopcraft was like totally ` .. whichever u may llook at it.fri's was like whacking session. went to the supposed st nicholas swamp..but it turned out to b st nicholas rocky mts. yes. so piak chet lor. to keep hitting into rocks. michelle. jiayous!!! cos we must keep findign a spot until we hit it in..nd she tried for 7 times. yes 7 whole times on one instance. ..i tried like 4 times. and the feeling is like ...so frustrating i really wanted to just say 'i quit' .. i just wanted to cry. . hit the peg so hgard but it reaps no result. NONE! mans. i really really hate that feeling. that whacking session practically drained my body. and the supplies in the first aid kit too! hehs. michlelle cant raelly see her inger tips alr. and genivieve perserved till her blister broke. liying also not any better lars her hand. felt bad,..cos i dun really have much blisters. hehs. but the entire 2 days of trg made me flt like -totallyt shagged-
after that whckng session we peg a lil of the tents ..twice for 15 mins each time.obviosuly didnt complete. but..yea. :)den i sorta got a feeling that i wun be corners. but an upright. baa.

(dinner break)
back:) aniw ..today's training reap a lil results lars. at first we got the confirmed position and we did half pitch -ie we pictch until inner is up, and flagpole until they tie finish. just dun erect frst that part. yeps den we continbes to finish lars. timing was like 35mins ?hehs. den had water break. water never tasted so good :) hehswas like lining up at the water cooler three times. cold sweet tasting water! hehs .den after that yuanzhen & gloria maam told us a lil about wat we should do lars.but after a hwile ms ng decided we shld like hands on in case ppl cant imagine. den while we were pitching , they gave instructions lars.:) yz kept telling me wat to do. baa. i'm a bad uprigt. hehs but , yes,with siow yi:)den st first me and sy was like carrying the grd sht and fumbling.hehs., den we laughed... baa. hahas. but yes. i think that made our spirits higher. (plus the h2o breaK OF COS)yeps and we did a full pitch. in RECORD23.03 secs.(maam say shld write down. big improvem:)) ohh.i was timer.shldnt had volunteer:( :) aniw.its ok lars hehes. so happy.our target was 25mins. and i at first tot we cldnt reached it. but we did. abd i think its pretty ok for beginners like us alr...the quality of the tents..at least u can shake n not b scared that it will fall:) so pround of everyone. plus the flagpole guys! :)think their job is tougher than ours. :)but jiayous nonetheless!~ only thgs the stupid twine which is reused over,.. a bit cant untie only lor. A BIT ONLY LORS. hehs. baa! aniw.:)yeps.tired. my finger the center joints feel the tension when i just open my hands flat. and my right wrst feels the strain whenevre i use it, feels so crippled. just now cldnt even close the uncle mobben's the frgde below the drinks there. baa!and i cld hardly press the tap fo the shower.! omg! stupuid me. baa.yeps. ok..so tired.gtg! aniw nyaa netball was fun! :)wehhes! ok. -tired tired-

.random tots.

actually. i'm not sure if i want to join in the very first place.
i've been worrying . for the very fact is that my studies are not good. its nothing fantastic.nothing near there at all. nowhere.and that ...is the living truth.mu studies is barely hinged. and my amaths. clinging to that strand. its pathetic as i have came to understand/ but i alos know there's no way out of this mess , that i've got myself into. NO WAY OUT. mayb the only thing i can do.. is to do my best. my very best . i've got to know and gtta restrict web time. tv time. slping time. and up those studying time to make up. else. i'll be walking myself into a dead track.alone.

drills performance today. tired- my hands feel funny. like got the size of the rifle there alr. lol :) aniw
hais. got into ccc. in c-rious trouble. -baa.. people say they cant see my blog.. hmm..so sad.

new year. yes.i'm so very unprepared. i'm so unwilling to start new term tmr. so very. plus the np activity tmr. baa. jaiyous, lucia. shuiyign just sms ed to remind me abt my amaths again.thanks to all those who ahve been constanty reminding. i have just been not a good gurl that's all. baa. 1 gunbound and off to study.