sn girl deep inside

yoshi jus reminded me. a year have jus passed like really fast! i have officially left SN for 365days! and thats REALLY ALOT yet it seems like it passed in a short span of time. maybe time shortchanged me!

but i really miss the worry free days in SN. at lkeast the worries didnt qt bothered me. i did have worries... like failing amaths, everymorning getting ppl to button up and stuffs. and the people treat OTHER people with such sincerity i actually do not feel anything. which is good cos anything that i feel is negative :/

the new year is like. so lost. so weird, so unknown.

life's rather conflicting sometimes

here's why:
-time passes so fast ive lost track of time! i promise that in the new year i would slow down my own pace, and constantly check that im in sync with myself.
-i dun like it when ppl dun tell me stuffs. yet when they tell me, i dun like it either :/
-i REALLY want to sit down properly for once and do finish my hoemwork yet i always end up doing something else. (esp reading the curious incident of the dog in the night-time! its SUPER good i just borrowed it from the library!)
-im bored at home yet i dun wna school to start yet i miss sch yet when sch starts i noe that its gns be deadly cos everyone's at orientatn for the ENTIRE week, all except me. :/
-i tell myself to be nice to people yet everytime i come into contact with them im sure to be mean ):

hopefully in this new year to come in TWO days, i would be a better person, keeping in mind the many things i have learnt, been taught and realised at nan. hopefully i would be a better sister and daughter, a better and more appreciative and less bothered friend, a more committed individual, and more caring and more patient mentor, a happier and healthier soul to my body, and most importantly, a more me lucia.


it cant be achieved. yet who says you cant have dreams? (:

bannanreeee! rocks

ok, photos of bannamree courtesy of yongchuen. some are really pretty! (: and here .

check out joyce's blogg for more links under nanofive. im lazy

now they are making me REGRET even more that i didnt bring my digi. :( but memories are sweet! (: WHEE

SQUADMATEStoday! haha. and my favouritest dose of it. i promised to go back but i forgot til this morning so i jus WENT DOWN! haha. a promise is not called a promise for nothing, much as i was tired and lazy and LATE! ahah. looked at the drillscom. haah but didnt do much help la. i have lousy drills aniw. den lunch w sqdmates and the two new CIs chuan n xuewei (: yummy sn food, no matter what it is. i love! ohh they gave me a NICE POSTER of myboyfriend! haha. jayposter la! haha.

sometimes i think its only with these people i love so dearly, people that ive spent HELL through with that i feel i can truly be myself. my sqdmates are prolly the very few people i can just go crazy with, talk crap, laugh out loud on buses and realise that we'e the only noisemakers on bus, walk around looking like some weird people in shorts and all. yet they noe all about me, that something is wrong when lucia dun talk, tolerate my coldjokes and (particulaly xh!) tolerate my suaning! HAHAH! and despite all the crap, i feel totally comfy with them. ilove all the 31 ppl right from the start! i think sn ppl that i knew in sn are the ONLY people i could talk all crap with and feel totaly safe cos they wun abandon, they wun despise. (prolly only in jokes, they may) sigh, when the new year draws near, it means that we'll have EVEN lesser time to meet tgt, safe for the bigger np events cos everyone will be busy with SOMETHING CALLED TESTS AND EXAMS. sigh,but we should really meet up whenever. but ur nco is too lazy to organise. im lousy ): i love squadies.

just now i suddenly got this dawning that... its been two years ago since campcraft com that we had late evenings trgs in school and going home with yoshi and its already REALLY dark. that repeated feeling of evening busrides home, i dunno, but it just suddenly dawned upon me when crys said the trgs last til 645pm. i dunno, im just weird, i know. :P i hope i can keep to my promise, to commit to the next ccc THOUGH the tent section have totally mutilated. sigh. i still find pegging very shuang (: plus its so near aj, should be not difficult to keep my promise! (:

sigh, new year new year
i hope somethings gna be up and happy for me this new year man,
else its gna be real bad.
looming tests
piling work
drifting minds
lonesome people.

2005. how would the end be like? like when it started? when i was fearful and a lil hateful to go into jc? prolly. im fearful n hating to go into jcTWO now. As jus seem so near, so unpreped for. 2005. when i hate to leave behind so many friends in a great school ? prolly. im going into j2 with fewer friends than ever. perhaps the older you get, the lesser friends you'll find yourself with cos everyone is always caught up with something else more impt than you, cos everyone have their own secrets you just aint the friend they would share with? im taking things slower, and much easier now. when i find myself working/doing stuffs too fast, i would want to slow down and reach a pace like that in bannamree. slow and peaceful. aniw, life neednt be so rushed to be happy and fulfilling! (: similarly, im going into 2006 with tons of worries like in 2005, with little faith that i'll make it through each year. but i noe, somehow, n0 matter how hard the going is, i'll make it somehow, and in every yr there will be times when im hopeful. there must be! (: so til then, A LONG ENTRY ALR. (: loves!

class xmas erh... party?

haha dun really know if its a party / outing/ gathering or what
but nomatter what, 2205 gathered ytd for kbox/pool/steamboat/weizhi's bday/xmas xchange all in one day! WOAH looking back, no wonder i was so tired! HAHA!

yepp. i unwrapped presents alr! whee i love my piyo! haah she got me a nicenice ( but flowery :( ) pencil case and shirt. haha! i love unwrapping presents! AND osy actually bought a cake to my house? HAHA thanks for spreading the xmas joy! but STOP wasting money my dear! hais. and minyi dropped by a nice notebook and card! so SWEET! hand delievered lehh! (: LOVES! class xchnage, zhihao the two decks of poker cards! HAHA! ive got one of it the THIRD time! but i still LOVEE it! (: thankss! whee i love receiving presents but i hate shopping for one! HAHAAH! oh wells. i forgot tdy i promise to go down for np, so yea, i should start moving my butt off here alr!

newyear resolutions

jus read the ST commentary (ms tay would be so prouda me) on newyear resolutions. its smthg like saying, that we should try to make simpler resolutions that we could fulfil in our eveyrday lives. and live with it.

LAST YEAR
1. do the things that i like and dont regret them (lik i'm now if you know what i mean)
2.be nice to everyone and go to THAT school with an open heart lar(come on lucia, you can meet lots of new ppl how exciting.! bleah )
3. oh wells. mental block. will come back one day!

i think i have fulfiled 1.5/2. resolution number 1 is only half satisfied i guess (:

THIS YEAR i wish for
1. to be happier! to be nicer to myself! by not keeping things in to myself and yet to not be too bothered about things that i can have no control over.
2. to be nicer to my family! (:
3. to be satisfied with the things i already have (keeping nano always in my mind), that i am already far more fortunate than i think i am.
4. to be kinder to the ppl around me and make everyone happy on dull days.
5. to STUDY HARD and score!

i hope this five are fulfilable. though none seems easy like last year's. its complicatd. sigh :( OK, shall start fulfilling rite now.. be happier! :) HAHA!

add a sixth
6. world peace and harmony. no disaster or war okay!

haha this photo was taken jus at the corridor of my house! our area is having this nw paint thing and they're whitewashing first. so it seems like the blockand the sky are of the same colour! whoo. cos it was raining. super random but i like. havent touched my digicam for ages!









my fave boy, right smack in the middle. he's cute okay, not in pictures but in real life! (koped from yiwen!)

laowang!

haha laowang came by! i hardly see her online these days! I MISS YOU! come over some day n gossip with me! i'm officially inviting you to MY house (the first invitation of any kind!) haha.

wwent back for ccc selectn tdy! haha erms. well, im glad to see my ccc mates! and my squadmates! haha tho peisee mus be wanting to kill me cos i told her abt the xmas party but i didnt go cos i had sl. aniw, xiaowen's DAMN NICE! she painted this reallyt nice oil painting i think, for me! (: it was due TWO years ago btw, but the wait was worth cos its really pretty. now i have a REAL painting to myself! shall keep it and ten years down the road i can auction off ( cos im 100% sure she'll be a great artist! go xiaowen!) squadmates rocks. pegged! whoo, smth i haven done for ages. the peg is STILL slanted the way it was two years ago. woah, how time flies... now both levels in ccc03 have graduated frm sn. WOAH.

SL was okay. haha. i still prefer cute kids like WIWUT tho :P hoho.

these days i jus felt a lil detached. like away from most things. from people i used to be closed to. there are many things that i used to feel for a lot, i just dont feel it now. maybe nan's wweather had been so cold, it froze the feelings in me. hehs. doesnt matter, (: i guess its better this way! (: classpost xmas party on boxing day. xmas xchange i hate! i hate looking for pressies, peijia noes best. walked the entire of nrthpt and couldnt decide. two hours! :/ i hate to shop for presents. BAHH. homework a lot alot. :( sighh needa do FINISH soon! but doubt i'll ever do it! SIGH.

things change. ppl change. i hate changes.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! christmas's gna be a lonely season. my sis are both out! BOOOO.

disaster approaching!

SHUCKS. doing homeowrk yet i dunno wat im doing. think i forgot super a lot of stuffs, in xchange for more meaningful ones im sure, but still. i needa read up now i guess. else the homework would NEVEr be touched.

nano meeting tdy but i didnt go. mummys home offday so yepp (:

i must complete my homework. i dun wna a repeat of sec3. not doing homeowrk and end up failing amths! ;/ hehs hehs. im offline more often now :) and tevee doesnt matter much anyway. hoho. shall send out xmas cards soon! its the only time im sending them out SO late near to christmas. but i haven complete them yet :/ heh hehs.

ok, i think what the nan experience have brought me, i have yet to see. what i know is that
1.the temperature in singapore seems like a few degrees higher than when i left. thats bad cos i needa feel cool, not HOT. haha.
2.i think ive become a little bit more of a quieter person now. i dunno, talking just seems unneeded now that i see how we could talk more with actions, haha. but i still talk tho, i will talk and i do talk. haha. jus that prolly now, i tend to think b4 i talk more often. :)

nanofive

before blogging about the wonderful point in life - nano5, shall do this from oily first. :)

Rules Of The Game:

1. post five weird/random stuffs about yourself.
2. at the end of the post, list the name of 5 people who you want next to do this.
3. leave a comment "you are tagged" in their blog and tell them to read your blog for rules.


FIVE random/weird stuff about me:
1. i hate to brush teeth at night, which i found out when i was in Nan, but nevertheless i still did brushed... cos i didnt want to be the dirtiest (i was already DIRTY enuff!)

2. i regret not buying more food back form thailand tho i alr have tons of it.. but some im giving away so im left with little! :(

3. wiwut is damn cute, and i love him

4. i have 30plus unread mails in my yahoo mail n 70plus when i checked them ytd after three weeks

5. im gna have pasta later for dinner

people i am passing the baton to: (to be thought thru later)


-----------------

much as no words could really describe my very memorable stay in thailand, just wanted to write down some thoughts perhaps.

nan is really a very beauitful place, and Ban nam ree is even more so beautiful. where the school was, it was mere beauty of mountains and greenery all around. if you were to see nan, you werent call singapore a greencity. hahs. besides, the people are really kind, thai kids are cute, and the thai teachers have been most tolerant and kind to the whole team. the stars at night were so much more than wat we see in our entire life in singapore. and i saw the first shooting star i saw in my life there, and the second, third and many more, all in one night. the night i star gazed, i think ive seen ten beautiful winders called shooting stars. ive met beautiful souls as well, esp the class of p4. wiwut, prajob, suponsa, amitta, udon, paw in the group i took. sweet smiles, childlike innocence, carefree and prolly, they jus sepnd their life being happy. (: which is something i doubt anyone in sg can do. they can play husband and wife for ages( and hours) and still run with such gest and energy. they had so little yet they seem so happy. theyre naughty yet theyre nice to you too. we cant communicate much, but u could see in their eyes what they are trying to tell you.

i would jus say the three weeks in thailand would form a very large part of my memory. one that opened my sights to things beyond what i knew i could learn. thingswere so simple, things were so slow, yet i didnt felt bored. time passed, but we didnt had to occupy ourselves with much. i had great teammates to go through whatever that came. be it the impromptu songs 'we will get there' at the opening or the 'at the beginning' at the closing ceremony, or the naught kids, or the camp, jus about everything, you knoiw you have fellow teammates to struggle(if even) throught with. 29teens , three weeks., 3 teachers, one experience. it was hard to leave, yet i wanted to be back with my family at the same time too.

not matter what happens next, i wuld jus know that my life is never the same from the one i was threeweeks ago beofre i left... having gne through that experience, having saw things far beyong life, having saw and reacjhed out to a different culture entirely. perhaps, i learnt to really cherish things in action now, then to jus say it out in words. perhaps, i learnt to have a little more patience in teaching thr slower, to have fun and to let the kids smile a lil more cos it brings jus much more joy than i do imagine. to treat people with a higher level of sincerity and perhaps now, i am able to say that i can give up majority of my material, creature comforts like the com and tevee. in view of bigger things, these comforts are insignificant and unimportant. i realise that such stuffs are unneeded for me to pass time cos easy things can keep me by. i dun have to always rush to complete things cos what is the point. completing more things doesnt bring more joy n satisfaction than completing one task really well.

i dunno, but its just at nan that i realise i could give up so many things in life and jus live simply. and jus how indulgent we are with ourselves and our spending. jus how simply we actually do jus need to get by. DANG. im crapping. pardon me i have to complete some work soon :/ (homework i mean)

much loves to all who sent me msges at the airport. sorry i couldnt reply then cos i was too afraid and all then at the airport. (; and was really surprised that lew sirui jh yue came to the airport to send off :) haha. thanks. and jo for msging in and jas for calling in. haha. and so many so many. and hongli's very creative cardpaper and sixoh's card. i jsu saw it ytd and its pretty! :D thanks! (:

nano5 was a great memorable experience, im glad i made the decision to go, that i wrote down my name at the pccg noticeboard on that v impt day cos without that day, i may never feel this way. i feel older, yet wiser and moe knowing of the world (: