missing the times when i write papers like these.

caring about societal issues; pondering over the soundness of our socio-economic policy. But the thinking and worrying doesn’t stop. It shouldn’t and there is no excuse to. Even while market design issues cloud my mind more often now, we’re all within this broad societal umbrella. These issues are as much policymakers' concerns, as it is ours.

If you (or anyone on this train, for that matter) thought of life as a kind of train, instead of worrying only about your usual destinations, you'd be surprised how far you could go, just with the money u have u in ur wallet right now.
-newly wed, banana yoshimoto

心中不斷拉扯. 是怎么了?‏

黑色笑靨掉了　雪白眼淚掉了　該出現的所有表情瞬間掉了
瞳孔沒有顏色　結了冰的長河　回憶是最可怕的敵人

曾經唱過的歌　分享過的笑聲　在心中不斷拉扯
想念不能承認　偷偷擦去淚痕　冬天過了還是會很冷
---
memories scares me sometimes. and they keep coming back to haunt me these days. snippets of those winter days, those random everyday scenes. snapshots of classes, libraries, people. maybe it's the graduation blues. or maybe it's getting older, or some smth else.

nevertheless, two more papers to go, and i really want them to be good.

for a peace of mind. for the knowledge that happy endings do exist. a happy, temporary pause to a school life which i cherish very much. for i promise myself that when the time comes, i'll be back again with (econs) books, in some part of this world. no matter how long it takes, no matter how old you get, no matter how minute your dream is, work hard & jiayou lu. :)

(:

Happiness is contagious :) so let's jiayou and hopefully stay happy as well! aja! If you arent as happy, go get CINNAMON MELTS. HAPPY FOOD. okay, so nonsensical alr. gogogo lu

the sun will rise, when the dark is over

first week of the final semester for year3 started. im still undecided, and totally hating my indecisiveness.

-cant i just make a decision (if only its so easy, for so many things as well)?

-cant i just do a CBA to see which mod pales in comparison (if only everything was quantifiable. perhaps they are, but i havent taken the CBA mod)?

-cant i just choose what my heart tells me (it tells me all sort of rubbish all the time)?

"You never know where the next miracle is going to come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe it’s right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you just might get the thing you’re looking for." - One Tree Hill

LU NEEDS POSITIVITY; i guess sometimes, we just need to keep believing. (:

all sorts of issues, clouding my mind.

won't you hold me tight and assure me everything will fall into place eventually?

there must be

there must be a way to answer the question.
there must be a way, in which everyone agrees, is best.
there must be a way to make sure it flows.
there must be a way to make the essay the best it can be.
there must be a way.

think lu, think hard!

and there must be a way to handle all the remaining projs! just counted on the busride, i think theres three FOUR left! gogogo. (:

the sad truth

okay, sudden realisation. September ended. gosh, so as the song goes, its perhaps time i wake up. midsem econs ramblings alert.

while other people deal with dilemmas, we struggle with trilemmas. MACRO! haha. econs is not easy heh. and i was smiling to myself today when i read this from healthecons:

the past convinces the present that today wants what yesterday has left
behind for it to use.

such a mouthful. but how beautifully prof puts it.

connections

the internet is finally back, up and running. yayness. i think i really might die without the internet,esp if i am having hols and not working and without piyo at home. HAHA. thankgoodness for tv shows.

hols are ending, another new semester is beginning. i can foresee the mad rush, the fatigue, the lectures. ahh.
i just did up my timetable. suddenly remembered i used to send cecs my timetable every sem so we could arrange a time to meet. but this sem, she doesnt need it anymore ): HEHS. CECS i hope ure having fun! LOVE!

days with grey.

cant help but worry about timetables everytime starsplanner comes around. rahh. there's the number of day/week, number of modules, what modules, which tutorial slot, which timing, what time to start your day, and the content of the modules itself to consider. so many constraints, too much worries.

i will settle on my timetable before monday. thats, by tmr (or technically by today, at the time of this post). omg.

and there's no redmoon and osy and yx in school to make my day. school reopening is starting to sound scarier. ): hurr. i have so many diff plans in stars. so many things i dont know how to tell people. stupid worrywart.

keeping sane

its may the first already. omgomogomg.

which marks the start of THE take home assignment. i just feel dead, very dead. with accounting and urban econs looming and now, econ devlpm of china. go lu. jiayou.
i'm trying, trying very hard to keep sane.

i'm needing another jog tonight. rah.

eviews. wahaha.

happened to look into 204b proj report for last sem to copy my fave cover page layout for report (hurr acctg) and omg. i am reminded of those late nights at hss free access lab, visits to rahman office and staring at eviews, confused. and that twenty page report of numbers and terms i cant even spell properly (heteroskedasticity?).

a semester have since past.
those were the days. bittersweet.
but are those the days i'm returning to?

study for now, lu. (: just study

FLEW!

one of my fave girl just flew off this morning at 6am. and i cant sleep despite camping with lyy and mei the entire night at the airport. haha.

she probably won't see this, but gosh, i will miss her alot. no yeetheng to YEEtheng, with the long YEE sound. no YO, as replies. no WELL DONE. the year ahead seems taunting without my econs gang. my support group in school. but i bet she'll have tons of fun there so i must be happy for her. its so hard to see her leave, almost on the verge of tears. six months six months. (:

and reality hits home.

soon, it'll be me.

i hope i can not sleep, to enjoy the luxury of the twentyfour hours everyday. thats not even enough though. heh.

gosh, 204b is a big headache. three meetings and no breakthru.

save me, some Econometrics Expert/Shen/God.

忘了我从什麼时候

i dont like how things affect me. i cant seem to not care. whyy. tell me why.

received msges from some of the students. really sweet of them. i hadnt gotten down to settling the photos. my head gets heavy, one part of my mind tells me to move on, the other easily gets stirred by all sort of thoughts. dont leave me high. i cant take it.

ran, finally.
ichiban with thebestestfriend on friday! (:
postcard from norway that made my entire week!
love this duet by ahxin- zou huo ru mo!
quizzes are coming :S
dilemma. i hate making decisions.

i think all i need is sleep. i'll be happier. or a superhero.
lu, jiayou!

random impulse to put this pic up.
the people who slogged through econs with me (:

flying away

both jo and diana is away for exchange now ): in the land of danish cookies and pizza respectively. so is porkchop (which i hope is safe in europe although diana says they love to eat pork there). its so exciting! i feel so excited for them! although both refuses to reveal any flight details for me to go and get a chance to eat popeyes at changiairport. :X

this sem is surely picking up speed. i hope i dont lose myself amidst all the busyness. i tend to, i know. but i dont just want to be one of those rushing along in hurried footsteps. its scary how fast we can leave behind the slow, peaceful pace of july. i dont want to- its my refusal to grow up.

i just need to stay sane (and happy). one sem at a time. jiayou lu, tutorials and readings are piling up!

and i always reach school half a hour early. :S RAHH. but its good to be early (:

school have started! omg.

i hate timetabling. sometimes i think im not as strong as i think i am.

i get frustrated over planning timetables every sem.
i fear taking the psy mods that i landed myself in.
none of my decisions this year seem to be good. :X
freak! super sad.

maybe i should just concentrate on econs. 50UEs is too much to clear, and too taunting so. starsplanner is too messy for my head. rahhh! frustrated, and i cant think straight when i'm frustrated. and there's so many things on my mind. BLAH.

and its only the second day of being a year 2. i wish for better tomorrows. i'm not ready to be a year2 major. but time just moved on ahead of me, doesnt it. ARGH quit emoing. i am incoherent.

on a happier note, i visited sarah's room today (: jiayou exroomie! gpa>4!

courses, causes.

i love post selects CRANBERRY ALMOND CRUNCH cereal. it has this nice cranberry fragrance and im still munching on it when its 1230 midnight!

i falter after all,
to practicality
to my stubborness
to conformity
to the whole lot of mess in my life ):

thanks to everyone for their advice these few weeks. the worry wart has made a decision after all. i dont know why i turned out to be such an impractical, indecisive and boring person, who refuses to acceptreality. i'm weird, as i have always known. and i think too much into everything, sometimes.

i need a holiday, thats not coming unless the funds are. we need money, fundraising! its times like this when i wished money fell from the sky. but nonetheless, it seems like a busy afterwork week next week. TWOWEEKS to cambodia! LOVE (:

TAN ah bao is going to breathe in singapore air in 7 hours time! YAY (: i havent seen her for a year. ohgosh,i miss her.

TGIF

how egocentric blogs are. its always i, me, myself, saya, 我.

i enjoy jogging. but before i manage a jog, i always have to drag myself out of the house. its the inertia, that once overcame, i would get to breathe in the (quite polluted) evening breeze. my knees are fine now, or so i hope. i'll go gentle on them!

8 references to self in that para alone.

its the plan-your-modules-or-or-get-prepared-to-die-in-the-next-semester period again! i'm glad that econs still excites me (: cant explain why/what, but its just this surge of euphoria when you look at whats in stall next sem. ying and i must be the craziest people who cant wait for school to start. 2 more months (: but really, i'm very grateful for always being able to make my choice (and perhaps thus, have no other way out but to accept the consequences of my decisions). good or bad, eg econs or internship, i'm perhaps glad or resigned to a certain extent.

i've been thinking about the major/minor thing. it just struck me how unplanned my life is. i don't plan ahead to take whatever minor/second major. and thus i worry and procrastinate again now. i take modules as i like it, with no considerations if it will boost/diminish my choices next time. A or B. econs or econs/2nd major or econs/minor. AHHH.

i know a decision has been made subconciously. its just when i can comprehend and verbalise it.

its time i go back into photography! we were talking about blogging today in the office and i dont think i fall into the category of blogging-in-perfect-english. never will be. so might as well let the pictures do the talking! (:

you know you didnt choose the wrong course when you feel a rush of adrenline reading through the descriptions of the modules you can take next semester and in the sems to come as a major. it brings a smile you cant explain.

and that is despite just coming back from a deadly core paper.

im glad it still excites me so.

one last paper! (: jiayou lu!