some time during the week, this thought came to mind: maybe i am really rather lucky after all.

being surrounded by the best of people in life and at work, largely worry-free (except for the worrywart in me) and doing things i like... I ought to count my blessings. I ought to cherish things better. but it's human, perhaps, to always feel wanting, or a lack of something.

because sometime during the same week, i felt overwhelmed and tempted to lash out complaints and grudges to anyone who would listen. like everyone wants a piece of you which you can't give. Like you feel as if there just isnt enough time in a day for stuff.

I just need to constantly remind myself that i'm truly blessed. i must count my luckystars :)

one of those days

somedays you just feel like cancelling any meetups, avoiding all contact with homosapiens. 

because it's one of those days when facing people, facing truths and untruths are too tiring and too difficult. 

maybe after all, being alone isn't being lonely. 

CHINUP

aint meant to be mine

tired. can i give up? drained from the unpredictabilities. perhaps, it is indeed true that whatever life gave you, it will be taken away from you in another way. proven time and again. maybe some things, aint meant to be mine.

perhaps an apt quote from my recent read

i'm tired enough of the search- and not finding anything- that i am giving it up. Grief hurts, sadness hurts, but it's not the feelings that destroys us. it's what we tell ourselves about the feeling.
-geneen roth, women food and god

an email from 7 months ago

received this cute surprise...from myself

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 7 months and 6 days ago, on December 14, 2010. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org
Dear FutureMe,

i hope u're doing fine.
that u have gotten a first class hons and is on your way to embark on an exciting career, even if u do not like working.
i hope ure still beaming with sunshine. and i hope your grad trip was awesome.
i hope all at home is healthy and fine.
i hope u always remain happy, grateful and thankful for everything.
i just hope ure happy (:

love,
me
after my first paper of the first sem of my final year.
(the paper was personality psych. i wonder how i did. i hope...well, though the paper didnt feel that good actually)

on hindsight, i did do quite well for personality psych. the anxiety then, feels relieving now. thank god much of what i hoped for then did come true indeed :) if only all things went as i hoped, though. but that would probably be too greedy. i just hope i am still able to bring happiness to all around me; that i can stop being whiny, demanding, lazy and needy and importantly, to be a better and nicer girl.

i also hope to do well for work, to work hard and to stay happy. i want happiness, sunshine and contentment. i wish for tibet, iran and europe some time soon. :) jiayou lu.

wanderlust

"Tibet Travel Permits can now be processed again! After being closed for about 7 weeks, the Tibet Autonomous Region (except for Chamdo prefecture) is open again!"

i just felt my heart ache.
maybe some things, at a certain time, aren't meant to be.
maybe there is a time for everything. i hope the time is ripe the next time. :)

feeling wanderlust even though i've just returned from a trip. but hearing about people's trips make me want to travel too.

the world's too huge. maybe indeed, in the end, i won't be able to claim to have seen this world.