hmm i dunno. but there's this emptiness, just this different feeling when i got back hc tdy., brought along mic and yoshi. sorry i abandon u.
its just different alr. seeing chujie at our class bench... ok maybe not mine anymore. yupps. lik, htings jus feel weird alr. lik im nt as close to anyone anymore? like our closeness is gone? maybe i was just in a bad mood or smthg. and eveyrone jus happen to be too...lik everyone was just damn sad when i go back. dunno y. hais. like, have things changed so much? so rapidly tht i could no longer catch up? hais.
i feel more drifter away alr. lik all our chitchats, lik all the insider jokes, i no longer understand as well, im no longer a part ? i dunno. but it feels not lik b4 i guess.
mayb i jus holding on to too much of the past . and so i am outaplace in both my dream home and my present jail? ahah. ok, couldnbt find a better word. i guess it'll get better. i hope.

seeing fish in new nj uni, seing them with the hc uni, a part in me just ache. yet another part asks me to move on. i think wat mavis says is probably wat i dread most... that we'll eventually become
empty friendds. friends with empty friendships?
something about walking past your ex classmate and saying hi and something about some empty friendship or whatever and then i started imagining me walking past anyone of you with the same kind of relation and it's like i won't be a part of 60 anymore and when i come back and sit at the class bench with you all we won't have anything to talk about anymore and soon we'll drift apart and i won't go back anymore then i won't be friends with you all anymore then we'll start saying empty hi's and whatevermkgjklfjdklfsd. will we wont be friends anymore? like real friends? i noe everyone says we'll keepp in touch and all. but time, distance gone is nv taken back. soon, i'll be a mere visitor than part of it. i dunno. but i feel outaplace.evrywhr? hais, gg to bed with a bed feeling again. shucks.