canoeing

i jus felt the impact of canoeing. of the cnaoeing ntls. that of my exteam mates. haven i said enuff abt wanting to be in a team to strive n all. i've read it, felt it, wanted it. i dun mind training four times a week, dead tired and gone. well, its easy to say now tt i neednt commit at all. but i could feel their lost, their anguish... really. ive been thru all feelings in canoeing, not that of k1 k2 not that of a comp, but the feeling in the water, wnating to jus go faster and faster and not capsizing. capszing have always been a bigg prob. bigg one man. i still can feel that sizeure in my heart the first few times i was in a t1. i jus keept telling myself thati cant cap cos no one will save me, and so i didnt. i can feel the anguish of being so near the finishing yet u cap. its sad, its depressing even cos months of hardwork ends jus in that sec. i can feel it. it mus hav been painful, must hav been reall bad for wenyi n huiwen. but theye always zai in my heart. i miss them. mayb i could pop by a trg session. maybe. most prob i cant. but i miss them. sigh. i couldnt be there with them during their downest times, i could only pray and wish them taht theyll grow to be stronger indivs, stronger and more experienced forthe next comp. a canoeist life is tough, but as its go. if it aint tough, u aint going. u aint gna enjoy it as much either. canoeing rocks my life. but i aint fated to be rocked. i couldonly wish her that my exteammates (not only wenyi n huiwen) win and do hcnaoe proud, i'll be rooting for u wherever i am. i promise. i pray, and i noe this will come true. jiayosu my babes. u guys were there for me when i was leaving and feeling down. u guys were the ones that make me feel even more handicapped without canoeing. my canoeing babes, jiayous jiayous!