what do u mean he deserves someone better?

when blue is anything but BLUES

yesterday's chat spun off some thinking. there's really alot of things that i want to learn in this lifetime. some of it might had been too late, but some others could be done, if i stop feeling lazy and apprehensive abt doing things. i shall list them down so ten years down the road i can look back and see if any was fulfilled.

-i want to run a 10km race this lifetime
-i want to learn sailing
-i want a twostar kayaking course
-i want to learn musical instruments esp piano and guitar.
-i want to have a canon ixus
-i want to learn music in general
-i want to win an award in photography and in a sport
-i want to...

on another note, i think baguamate is really sweet because she jus msged the girls a really long msg to encourage eveyrone to work hard! i love u baguamate, always my swete old baguamate tho sometimes frm the mundane of everyday school, we dont talk as much alr (equals to we dun bagua anymore! )
i implused msged osy ytd becos i was feeling really bothered and wanted someone to hear. thanks dear bestest friend becos that single msg just makes me feel so much better that we didnt nee dto meet up alr.
classes and classies have been bugged by some weird bad happenings this week so i hope the week to come would be much better tho monday is already enuff to put me off into negativity because its triple combi, econs chem physics. whooho, and ive wasted three quarts of my weekend doing nthg in general. i need some mind clearing permanently, not the temp clearance running can do the job.

for now, pls constantly remind me i have broken my two-days-and-more a post wish, but its with valid reason lar. pls mugg hard.

and i feel quite offended abt being stereotyped by the straittimes sunday times report on bloggers. teens = angsyt posts? i am a very peace loving person okay. and i read anth report somewhr tht says abt the proliferation of digi cams and resulting in low standards of photography in genreal or smth. im not sure if digi cams being made like a necessity is good or not, but for one, at least it opens up the doors to photography for noobs like me to take some joy in enjoying the process of creating a photo- like framing, angle, composition and all.

ah wells, its really just me alright?

mental note: use hte internet less often okay! mental note 2: think of bestest friend present.

show me the direction please

show me the direction please

running is therapeutic. when coupled by late night outing with self and camera alone to capture the wonders of light, it definitely makes a happier person. the warm (but not too hot) sun, and a sweatly wet body. doesnt sound too good to some, but it clears my mind.

im happy! (lets all promise to be happy happy kids)

yangzheng makes me happy altho i get pek chek at small kids with no attention span and refuses to listen. ): but its students like dila and didi that makes me feel really happy. the two girls were protecting me from bullying boys. yay. and so brokeback's defn of town is chinatown. erm, dunch (minyi i rmb ur vocab!) and chat at pasta all the way at harbourfront! hoho. trio breakfast at macs too! i haven had macs for super long!

i think i need some direction in life. badly in need of some, actually. even if i do aim for ABBC, AABB, its pointless because i dont know REALLY where i wanna head. its definitely not engineering or medicine, i know for sure. but what, specifically, ive no idea. perhaps its cos im afraid to make a decision and to commit to it with hardwork. im afraid of failing to get whr i want, i have bad enuff experiences, trust me.

thanks chinny for the jaychou cd! :) its karaoke functioned! (tho not like i can karaoke, but its good, have lyrics that i can sing to myself !)

that shining star awaits

that shining star awaits

at the end of the day, pls know that u are being loved. it doesnt matter the amount, really. but what matters are those people who do.

i am sorry i asked. because i didnt think that i wun have any solution for you. i ought not have asked, becos i have no solution to help you with, just useless grins that i have to paste on. i'm jus stupid, i always repeat mistakes i promised nv to commit again. i nv learn, i nv do ): and thats making me sad. plus i hate making ppl sad, and i did. thats double sad. other than sorry, i dont know what other comfort i can offer.

i couldnt get myself to smile veyr much, but jo is very nice cos she helps me and try to convince me it isnt my fault. tho i really shld have jus concentrated on shooing ppl off the blackthing for analogue instead of going ard wanting to offer a listening ear to problems. i am a bad friend becos i dont have any advice to offer and i only make ppl sadder than they alr are. i just wan to fen dan xin shi only. even that i cant do, how useless. ):

(aniw, yay im a born physicist cos the circuit me jo shermin bulit BUZZES!) and smth that truely amkes me smile from inside today was a small boyboy cum neighbour who took the lift with me when i came home shagged and sad. he said bye! den i say bye while holding the lift button for his family to come out. den along the corridor he kept saying byebyebyebyebyebyebye to me and looking back! :) how cute! i wish the world was full of cute guys like him,i mean, cute BOYS.

i am heartbroken i really am. not only cos i made ppl sadder, im made to confront anth more serious issue. the lack of passion in me. because he felt so much for it, that he cried and worries and feels sad abt parting. but me? my only jotted memory was last yr aft firstthreemonths, and den its during np farewell. oh, and in ocip. other than that, ive not really felt enuff to cry for any other partings as yet. whcih holds me to admire all those who does becos passion and belonging is such a difficult thing to cultivate, i wish i ahd such a passion in aj. i wished, but it may nv happen with only three months left in school term.

my dearest nice voices won the world champs for choir! :) they're officially olympic GOLD okays! how cool is that, im so v proud of them. yuklum and chinguan! and my fave singer! and hanquan!

i jus felt this triumph of happiness this morning during assembly only for a drastic mood change shortly aft. how ironic.

try as i might, dont make things worse pls, dear me.

we will get there.

I've deleted what I've typed three times and this is the fourth time im trying to express something i dont even know how to :/

misunderstood.

but aniw, if i cant get the thinking-philosophies posts out, i can at least get the record my thoughts and events for the day kind of posts.

nano nano! this line just came out when i tot of this afternoon's meeting.
we will get there, how apt isn't it? After today's discussions i just suddenly felt this way. That we will get there, no matter how much difficulties the present seem to hold. i really think we can make this trip there, in FULL attendance. its hard but lets try. :)

WHOOH. the class guys are going for prom TGT. haha, i think they're a weird bunch, but I don't exactly know if the WEIRD is meant to be the positive or negative kind of WEIRD. But anyhow, its really quite touching/hilarious/funny.

I think being alone can be a rather enjoyable thing. Because in self you can have better concentration, with self, u no longer have to put on the mask that everyone have on. Masks are just but everyday skin to people, most people at least. I am quite convinced that the way everyone behaves is intrinsicly moulded into a certain type, the way people sees you, which i thin is a sad fact, but a fact nonetheless.

be a happy happy kid alrights. pe tmr! whee!

just the way i like it.

today i jus like my entry plain, just lik i like my bread thick with nutella at some parts and thin at others, like how i like people smile-ly, and i like my days light. its very much a personal preferance kind of thing. :)
oh and i like my mondays without the boohoos (BLUES) :(

there's so many things i really hope i can jus clear my mind of, many things that i would like to tell people how i feel, many words that i would like to say, but i do neither. eveyrtime i ask someone to CHEERUP, there's always a time when cheering up is difficlut for myself even. sigh, i woudl like to think im no depressed kid. i hate how i would think differently, refuse to conform, yet also refuse to speak out. i guess talking is really difficult, prolly one subject even worse that physics. :(

let my current inspirational song do the talking then, its easier. and hopefully tmr would be a better day! :D

Angels and heros by Brian Littrell

We are the poets, we are the dreamers
We are the soldiers, we are the screamers
We are the fallen to rise again
We are the lovers, we are cynics
We are the hours, we are the minutes
We are all friends in the end

So why be alive if you don’t follow your every dream
Reach up to Heaven and stand for what you believe

We don’t need wings to be angels
We don’t need reasons to be right
Your love makes us all better
That who we really are
Angels and heroes at heart

We are the givers, we are receivers
We are confessors, we are believers
We are the strange familiar face
We are afraid and so we follow
We’re underpaid and so we borrow
We mine for tears, but much too late

So why can’t we open hearts, open our minds
Forgiving is easy for You will come if we open our eyes

We don’t need wings to be angels
We don’t need reasons to be right
Your love makes us all better
That's who we really are

We don’t need sleep to be dreamers
We don’t need to have tears in our eyes
Your love makes us all better
That’s who really are
Angels and heroes at heart

I know it seems easier to run and hide
And bury emotions in the dark of night
But it’s worth the fight
Worth the fight
Just aim for the light

We don’t need wings to be angels
We don’t need reasons to be right
Your love makes us all better
That who we really are
Angels and heroes at heart